


Wolven Crest

by TCon



Series: The Call of the Beasts [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Pack Family, Sex Pistols Universe, Slice of Life, Supernatural - Freeform, Teen Pregnancy, dub-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 52,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3848734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TCon/pseuds/TCon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“ … I want to make him mine. Like some kind of twisted assurance, I want to tie him to me.” Once he’s set his eyes on the prey, he never intended to let him go, this time or the next. </p><p>Spin-off of <em> Beastly Call </em> ; KiKasa side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: From the start, I wanted to write a relationship that's a foil to KagaKuro's dynamic in  **Beastly Call**. An opposite that's not quite a complete opposite, but more like what could have been, should their relationship take a different turn. And that, to me, is the KiKasa pairing in BC. To put it simply, it's something less pure, darker yet not black, but more to grey territories. I always find it intriguing to write flawed relationships, with their own set of complexity. :-}
> 
> P.S.: For those who have no idea what this story is all about, please read  **Beastly Call** first, as it'll make so much more sense if you do! Also, this chapter will cover 2 timelines that go back and forth in each turn, do note this. :O

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 0

—

Wolves were monogamous animals. Humans weren't.

"What's  _imprinting_?" Asked the eight-year old Kise, a wolf cub just barely out of his animal form.

Innocence was a virtue most child possessed — but he was not 'most child.' He was a cub birthed to be the Alpha of his species, one of the few remaining, his father always reminded him. He was special. Important. That was why he had to learn everything there was to know about his lineage. That particular word had sounded foreign to him, which he'd caught from a private discussion his two sisters had recently.

His oldest sister, ten years older than he, had given him a troubled smile he rarely saw appear on her face. He tilted his head as he pressed his cheek against her thigh, her blue eyes narrowed and a stray blonde strand fell near the light-coloured lashes. She looked at him, kindly, a look she gave as a sister to her curious little brother. "It's something special, Ryou-chan. It's something that happens when you find the one mate you want to be with, always." She offered a half-hearted explanation, something an eight-year old didn't quite understand.

Kise furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't get it. Don't dad always say we need to have lots of mates so we can have more wolves in the family?"

She flinched at that, looking as if she'd swallowed something sour. "I … I know." She said, looking at her lap. She balled her fists, whispering. "… you're right. It's for the family."

He didn't understand why she had looked troubled. Kise's stomach growled at that moment, reminding him that lunch time was nearing. "Nee-chan. I'm hungry. Let's eat." He whined, tugging at her sleeve.

She gave him an understanding smile that didn't lit up her expression. "Okay, let's have lunch together with Sachi, Ryou-chan."

A few months later, she was betrothed to a Heavy Seed son of a prestigious family breed. She married a man of his father's choosing, three years later. She was his official wife, but she wasn't the only mate he had. She became pregnant with his child two years later, but the child was of her husband's breed. Not a wolf. His father had been very disappointed.

"Maybe her next pregnancy. There's still hope." Kise's mother had said, in a comforting tone, to his father who was the only one less excited about the newborn baby.

The baby boy was a Komodo Dragon. His brother-in-law's family was ecstatic to have an addition for their clan, something his parents had clearly meant for themselves. The population of Japanese Wolves was thinning rapidly; they needed to increase their numbers because they had far less than that of the Komodo's. Wolf children were the dreams of his parents. Although they should be happy enough that his sister was able to conceive at all, and for the child to be born healthy.

When his oldest sister didn't conceive any more children, they turned their attention to the second daughter. They started searching for the perfect groom, the perfect parentage and the perfect fertility level. When Rina was proven unable to give birth to a wolf, they'd pinned the hopes to Sachiko, who was at that time, sixteen years old and in her first year of high school.

However, unlike the gentle and passive Rina, Sachi was more rebellious and independent. She outright rejected her parents' offer to betroth her to a suitable mate.

"I don't want it! Can't you see Nee-san is miserable!?" She barked hoarsely, her features turning savage and eyes flashing viciously. She was throwing a fit the second their father dropped the news. "I want to seek my own mate! I want to meet the one I can bond with — not someone  _you_  want me to!"

He hadn't understood still, for he was only thirteen years old. To him, his parents' orders were absolute. If their father — the Alpha of the family — ordered her to marry, she simply  _must_  marry. You must not question the Alpha. Even when Kise didn't want anything hurtful to happen to his sisters, he was unable to understand their plight. He was just a kid.

Soon after, he was told to leave the room because their father was going to convince his sister to at least consider the candidates. Kise didn't see Sachi for three days after that, and when he did, she came into his bedroom to sulk, then begrudgingly told him she was considering the match. She didn't look the least happy about it.

It wasn't until years later, when he was sixteen, that the word 'Imprinting' became something of significance.

However, up until that time, he had been living the way he liked — the way a Heavy Seed lived — and he'd gotten everything he ever wanted. Since childhood, his breed and status were already a factor that attracted both the good and bad attention. Kise was always teased for the way he looked; golden brown eyes, blonde hair and pale skin. The pretty boy, so pretty he could pass as a girl. And somehow it made him a target, because boys didn't like how he leeched all the attention from females and adults alike. Children could be so cruel.

But Kise learnt later on, after years of bullying, that he was able to  _persuade_  the girls and the adults to defend him — simply because he was a Wolf, his natural charm and charisma made him a force to be reckoned with. A pretty handy advantage. He realised, that what his father told him was right — he was the chosen Alpha of his breed. He had it all; the physique, talents and the correct pedigree.

Kise had to admit, he might have gone too far with the privileges provided to him. He was spoiled, arrogant and rightfully so — he was a Japanese Wolf! Nobody could beat him and nobody could refuse him. He was so sure of himself, that he could hardly be able to differentiate between the real and the false. The right and the wrong.

"I bet you'd hit me for being too cocky, Senpai."

A pair of steely blue eyes stared at him, blinking once. Kise smiled, enjoying the comfortable way Kasamatsu's lap felt under his head, although the muscles of his thighs were firm instead of cushiony. The blanket helped. At his words, the fingers that were stroking his hair stopped its gentle caresses.

"… what are you babbling about? You're always too cocky." He remarked, scowling slightly. He gave a light tap on the crown of Kise's head as a makeshift hit.

The blonde grinned. That frown looked adorable in his eyes, so he snaked a hand up Kasamatsu's naked torso, slowly, until his fingers reached his neck, the underside of his ear, then the back of his nape. The short, prickly hair felt good against the pads of his fingers, if not a little ticklish. Kasamatsu's eyes fluttered close, his breathing slowed down, shortened, then quickened when Kise traced his fingers down the base of his earlobe.

Imprinting.

Kise didn't know why he suddenly remembered that foreign word, the first time he'd heard it, was before his sister became engaged to a man she didn't love. How did she feel, he wondered. He couldn't imagine being forced into an arranged marriage and losing his freedom, or being with someone he disliked. Unthinkable. Idly, Kise looked at Kasamatsu, his sight threading along the length of the dark lashes, the softened hard lines of his forehead, down to the bridge of his nose — his lips, just slightly parted, and the dark red marks that decorated his neck.

At that moment, his breath hitched, finding an inexplicable urge to voice out what came out of the depths of his chest.

"I like you."

He watched as Kasamatsu's eyes snapped open, his retina stilled in the midst of the circular frames, the reflection of his own face was displayed on the greyish blue surface. For a second, Kise forgot how to breathe, the air caught in his throat and his chest clenched in a little too tightly. He was expecting something. An answer. Even when he wasn't asking any question.

But what he wanted never came.

The strain of surprise slowly melted off of Kasamatsu's features. Those steel grey gems drifted, pupils dilated and constricted. The lines on his forehead stiffened, but he didn't look angry — because a thin smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and yet he didn't appear happy either.

"Is that so?"

His voice was steady, intentionally deprived of emotion. He was looking at him with a sort of resigned, subdued way. Kise knew that look. The one Kasamatsu always wore whenever a girl clung to Kise's arm, another of his wannabe-mate, insistent for his attention. The look on his face when he told him "well done" after they'd lost a match. The  _polite_  smile, the mask, the front — the subtle lies.

Kise didn't know how to make that look go away, so he parroted the same words, hoping it would reach the older boy. "I like you, Senpai. You know that, right?"

But Kasamatsu's smile stiffened, inhaling deeply before looking away. Kise heard him heave a sigh. "Yeah. I know."

That wasn't what he wanted to hear.

But he wasn't one to force another else to give him what he wanted, so Kise brushed the thought aside, in favour of enjoying the time they spent together. They wouldn't get any more intimate time with the Winter Cup's dates closing by. Someday, he would convince Kasamatsu to say what he wanted to hear. Maybe he was just being shy, Kise thought. They had plenty of time, until next year.

Kise frowned, suddenly reminded that Kasamatsu was a third year and that he would be graduating soon.

"Senpai…" He got up from Kasamatsu's lap, twisting his form slightly to face the older boy, reaching a hand up to caress his jaw, slowly.

Kise leaned closer and pressed his lips against Kasamatsu's, his lips taking the bottom part of the pair, nipping. Kasamatsu shuddered under his ministrations, sighing with a shiver. At first it was stiff, awkward. He was unused to kissing, his body was tense and needed Kise's assuring touches to start loosening up.

He loved it when the normally stiff and strict older boy started opening up to him, decanting, devolving into a primal creature that they truly were. His lips parted, allowing him to push his tongue in, to explore and dominate. The tension slipped off, the control slipping — yet he wasn't quite ready to lose it. The stubbornly furrowed eyebrows said it otherwise. "Mmm… slow… down…" He gasped, in between Kise sucking on his tongue and kissing him. His eyes were squeezed shut.

For all his eagerness, he wasn't about to cross the line and make this non-consensual. "Let it go." He urged, gently ghosting over the corner of his lips. "Let go of yourself. Relax."

Kasamatsu Yukio wasn't used to giving up control.

He always had to be the  _Senpai_  in school. Once they were in the gym, he was the Captain. Kise wondered if he was also an 'Older Brother' when he was home. Always restrained, tense, controlled — very controlled, maybe even too much that his real, raw self was buried deep beneath all those titles and the burdens attached to them. He was obsessed with it. Kise prided himself for being able to coax Kasamatsu to be Yukio. Just Kasamatsu Yukio. Relieved of pressure, of all that burdened him unnecessarily.

He kissed him again, a hand snaked down and ran itself up and down his thigh in a leisure pace.

"Relax. I'm here." He kissed his cheek, his nose and eyebrow. The furrowed brows began to uncurl, the deep creases softened. Kise smiled. "We've done this before and you're still so tense."

Clearly, Kasamatsu had been either a virgin, or he wasn't used to it because he hadn't done it in a long while. Which was unlikely, given they were werepeople and Kasamatsu was a good catch. How could anyone miss the opportunity to be his partner during the Heat? The answer to that pondering was still a mystery. Not that Kise cared, Kasamatsu was with him right now and that was all that mattered. He wasn't exactly the most prude in the past, either.

A pair of angry eyes shot up to glare at him. "Well, excuse me that I'm not as smooth as you, Mr. Popular Model." He snarled, attempting to push him by the chest.

The blonde laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I think I like it when you scold me." He cocked his head and held Kasamatsu firmly in his arms, staring at him. "Although I feel happy when I got these to unwind." He poked a finger in between the now furrowing eyebrows.

Kasamatsu threw him an incredulous look. "You've got a weird taste. You like me scolding you? That's strange."

"Maybe I do." Kise grinned toothily and leaned close for a quick peck. "I like you. Very much."

This time, there was a faint flush over his cheeks and he looked away. "… you keep saying that like it doesn't mean anything."

Kise pretended he was hurt. "But I mean it."

A pair of greyish blue eyes looked at him again, looking strangely challenging. The steely surface danced with a strong glint. "Show it."

He felt a chill crawled up his spines. "Senpai, you do know I'm a wolf." He said, in a suppressed voice. He felt the impact of those words awaken something dormant inside of him. A need to dominate — to claim Kasamatsu. It was in his blood. His natural instinct. He could hear a deep growl somewhere in the back of his mind. "I just might take it seriously."

Instead of replying, the older boy grabbed his arms, after what seemed to be a second of hesitation, he leaned upward, kissing Kise. His hands snaked up and settled around his neck. "And I'm saying … I want you to show it." He said. Despite the boldness of those words, Kise detected a slight tremble. But those eyes looked at him so firmly, they made Kise's chest throbbed with a strange flourish.

He didn't know what to make out of it. These feelings were foreign and strange. He'd never felt this way before.

So he did what he knew — burying his face on Kasamatsu's shoulder and whispering against his warm skin. He repeated the words. "I like you." He'd probably said it so many times, it had lost its meaning to the one he told those words to. But he didn't know what else to do, or to say.

He knew when Kasamatsu heaved another sigh and said. "I know."

But he truly meant it. Every word. Every time.

—

Their first meeting was the worst.

Kise knew he might be a little arrogant. Okay, maybe not just a little. Kuroko used to tell him someday either a scorned ex or a sore loser who felt belittled by his 'superiority' would someday show up in his doorsteps with a kitchen knife. To further prove his theory, he pointed out how Kise had been bullied in court from time to time, because he'd aggravated the opposing team for having a platoon of fangirls cheering on the sidelines — but not like Kise could tell them to stop cheering.

"Someday someone you've scorned would come back with a knife in their hands, planning to murder you, Kise-kun." Kuroko told him on their way back from a practice match, one soda popsicle in hand, looking adorable and deceptively innocent as he said those terrible words. Which was mostly why he'd let it off easily.

"I'm not that bad. I've always broken up with my exes amicably." He'd sulked instead, biting some of the orange popsicle. Walking just ahead of them with another girl manager, Momoi was glancing over her shoulder and blushing at the sight of Kuroko. That girl was so obvious.

"You've been lucky because they think you're nice and meek." Kuroko didn't even look at him as he resumed. "They're just slightly more important than a couple of rocks on the streets for you. You don't care about them."

Oh, busted.

"I'm not that mean." Kise reasoned sweetly. "Come on, Kurokocchi. I'm genuinely nice to you, Momocchi, Midorimacchi and the others! Believe me!"

Kuroko turned to him, this time. "You started being courteous to me after I showed you how I play, Kise-kun. You're only kind to those you deem  _worthy_."

That, he didn't argue with.

At first he thought Kaijou wasn't worth his time.

After all, they had no amazing abilities nor talents like his Teikou teammates did. Kise was scouted with the promises of leeways on his schedule and school grades, as long as he performed well with the team. It wasn't a bad deal. He still got to do basketball to battle his ex-teammates, or to do modelling when he was bored and he could get away with having average to bad grades. He didn't care to check the team's level of superiority, as long as they didn't get in his way, he was game.

Then the meeting happened. He met Kasamatsu on the first day, then he was thoroughly kicked, scolded for having no respect for the seniors and by extension, the team.

Was he shocked? Insulted? That was hard to say. Kise rather thought Kasamatsu was intriguing. Nobody else in the Kaijou team was quite like him, openly dismissing his pre-determined role as the team's new Ace and treating it as if it was nothing. He never gave him special treatments for being a Heavy Seed either.

Moriyama wanted to be popular with girls by imitating him but somehow misinterpreting everything. Kobori was the typical tall and quiet guy. The Coach was an obese ex pro player who gave him leeways as promised. Hayakawa was loud and incomprehensible, while Nakamura avoided him altogether. The rest of the first years, he didn't bother to remember them. They weren't that important.

Yet Kasamatsu treated Kise almost like how he treated the rest of the first years; they had to clean up after club was over, take the equipments back to the storage and sweep the floors. If he screwed up or skipped practice, he must run a few laps. If his grades were bad, he had to take extra classes until they were passable for the tournaments. The only times he allowed him more attention was that Kise practiced with the third and second years instead of with the first years. He didn't cut corners.

Kasamatsu Yukio was interesting, so it became a game.

He'd never quite met someone who would be blunt and dismissive of him like Kuroko had been. He was interested to see if he could get the defensive walls down, strip him off of all those seriousness and if he could make Kasamatsu Yukio  _submit_.

He was an Alpha Wolf, after all. Those beneath his stature would submit to him eventually.

It was just a few days after he'd decided to play the game, that he spotted a man — a Middle Seed — was talking to Kasamatsu in the hallway.

What bothered him wasn't that it was unusual for Kasamatsu to hang out with his friends, but because his sensitive canine nose caught a whiff of seduction pheromone from the guy Kasamatsu was talking with. He smelled like a bear, Kise's nose twitched slightly. Bears carried such heavy woody fragrance.

This one smelled lightly of damp soil and moss. He remembered how Murasakibara used to mask his with tons of sugary sweet smell from the pastries and snacks he gorged himself with, daily. He didn't know how Kasamatsu could stand being near that guy. Kise was irritated. He wasn't about to stop playing before he could even start.

"What's the deal with him and Kasamatsu-Senpai?"

He nudged Hayakawa, whom he'd been talking to before his attention was taken away by the pair. He had the senior kindly guided him through the school, because Kaijou was a big private school. He'd gotten lost on his way to the labroom the day before, for biology class.

"Oh, that's Batou. The tennis club's third year. He won a tournament in middle school, I think." Hayakawa, outside of the excitement of the court, could actually speak fairly normally.

"Middle Seed?" Kise guessed. The courting attempt made it obvious, the pheromone level was higher than that of Light Seed. But Kasamatsu didn't respond to it, his natural scent didn't change the slightest. In fact, his expression remained as stern as ever.

"So he's courting another Middle Seed. Huh. The Heat Season is still months away though."

Hayakawa shot him a weird look.

"What? What are you talking about? Kasamatsu-Senpai isn't a Middle Seed."

That took a moment to digest.

"He's … not? I thought he was a Middle Seed. I mean, he's the Captain." He said, genuinely surprised. Kasamatsu was raved to be a national level point guard, something he assumed only those of higher Seed Level could achieve. It was most often the case. After all, Akashi and Nijimura were both Heavy Seed and Middle Seed, respectively.

Hayakawa shook his head. "Nope. His dad and two younger brothers are Middle Seed Akita dogs from what I heard, but Kasamatsu-Senpai's breed followed his mother. A Shikoku Inu Light Seed."

That was unexpected, Kise had to admit.

He looked towards the pair, and it became obvious that Kasamatsu refused whatever the bear was offering. His pheromone diminished quickly, lingering thinly in the air. Kasamatsu looked like he was excusing himself with a nod, walking way to the opposite direction with something in his hands he noticed to be a stack of class reports or something.

Batou — or whatever his name was — didn't quickly leave. He stayed there, standing quiet and staring at Kasamatsu's back, almost longingly.

When the latter disappeared into the teachers' office, the guy looked away, sighed then sauntered off, towards their direction. That was when Kise noticed he was quite good-looking, even as he looked depressed, brown eyes fixated at the floor, with knitted eyebrows and a sad frown. When he passed by a group of younger girls, they glanced at him and blushed, whispering to each other excitedly.

That was another unexpected thing.

—

Kasamatsu liked Kise.

He knew it. He always knew, even if Kasamatsu never said it out loud because he wasn't vocal of his feelings, Kise knew Kasamatsu liked him. A lot. He could see it, from the way he looked at Kise, the way his gaze lingered, sometimes sadly, other times happily — or the way he never allowed anyone else to hold his hands like Kise did, his cheeks flared red and hot from the contacts of their fingers, entangled. He was the only one allowed to touch him so intimately.

But he wanted to hear it.

"Do you like me?" He asked, one day during a date. Across of him, Kasamatsu visibly tensed, throat constricted with the iced tea he was drinking. They were at a cafe, after some shopping and a movie, on a lunch break. It was around a month after they started dating.

He coughed a few times and drank more of the tea, before he could find the voice to answer him. "Are — are you stupid? Don't say stuff like that, dumbass. We're in public." He said, gaze averted and face reddened.

The cafe was crowded, but he doubted they were paying attention to them talking as it was loud in there. Conversations of around thirty people overlapped one another. Noisy.

"I always say I like you, but I never heard you say it." Kise sipped his soda, pouting. The movie they'd watched was an action movie with a side-romance. Cheesy as it might be, it got him wondering. "Sometimes I wonder if you're dating me because of something like my body, Senpai." He feigned a mournful sigh, tone teasing.

Kasamatsu snorted. "Nonsense. You're kind of slender. Kobori has more built because he's a Centre. You're slimmer, like Moriyama."

 _Kobori_. Kise furrowed his eyebrows, the name left a bitter taste in his tongue. Why should he come up in this conversation? "You're not answering the question, Senpai. Do you like me, or do you not like me?"

He blushed. Kise thought it was so cute that the usually stern senior with the cold business-like attitude was actually blushing in embarrassment. " … if I don't like you, I wouldn't be dating you." He said, the volume of his voice was above a whisper. He ducked his head and sipped his tea again, now red to his ears.

More than words, this reaction was so incorrigibly adorable, Kise didn't push the topic further.

—

Kasamatsu never showed favouritism or paid extra attention to him.

He tried. He really did. Kise performed every textbook dating cliché to seduce his Captain.

He turned up in practices early to play with the third years, sought out Kasamatsu all the way up to the third year's corridors to ask him out for lunch (in which Moriyama and Kobori always tagged along, to his chagrin), flirted with him (which earned him a blank stare and a quick excuse to leave from a confused Kasamatsu), he even released his almighty pheromone one time, that apparently charmed everyone in the radius of ten metres, only for Kasamatsu to not notice because he was having a  _stuffy_   _nose_  at that time.

Seriously, he'd never worked so hard to entice someone before. And Kise thought he understood a little of what that Batou guy felt. Kasamatsu was unresponsive. Abnormally unresponsive. Almost like he didn't have an ounce of romance in him. As Captain, Kasamatsu would often smack him lightly in the head and told him to cut it out whenever Kise flirted with him.

In the end of the week, Kise was so frustrated, he went out on a date with one of his sex friends just to unwind.

"Who's this 'Kasamatsu'?" During the date, the beautiful feline of a girl, discovered the texts and call logs that displayed his attempts at wooing Kasamatsu. Kise was just freshly out of shower, the towel hung by his waist.

"My senior in school and basketball club." He gave a short answer, flopping onto the bed. She was already in her bras and panties. "Didn't I tell you not to peek at my phone?" He said, a little annoyed.

She ignored him. "Weird. Why do you call your senior so much?"

"He's my new target."

She turned to look at him, eyes wide. "New target? You mean he's your crush, Ryouta-kun?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that. It's just playing around." He shrugged. "He's a tough nut to crack, though."

She made a low humming sound. "Really? There's actually someone who'd reject your proposition? I'd like to meet this Kasamatsu. Is he hot?"

"He's surprisingly popular. Alright, stop that. Give me back my cellphone." He leaned towards her and snatched away the phone. She pouted prettily. "And no, he's not the first. Kurokocchi rejected me too. You know — my best friend from middle school. I asked him if he wanted to spend the Heat together, but he politely declined."

She giggled and turned, exposing the curve of her stomach. "You're insatiable. I feel sorry for your friend."

Now it was his turn to pout. "That's mean. I genuinely liked Kurokocchi! But I guess he had something going on with Aominecchi. They were really close."

"Oh, whatever. Do you want to do it or not? I have an appointment with the nail salon in two hours."

They ended the date an hour later.

On his way home, Kise thought he hadn't seen Kuroko in a while, as his attention had been focused on trying to crack Kasamatsu's defences.

He was starting to miss that cute ball of snarks. He heard Kuroko went to Seirin, some no-name highschool that was built in the recent years. How could he go to such a lame place? He could have been better off in Kaijou with his ability. Kise could be his new light, he thought, since Aomine was out of the picture. And Kise, well, he really wanted to meet his best friend again.

So he decided to visit Seirin, in order to get Kuroko back.

—

He started breaking up with his sex friends, a few weeks into dating Kasamatsu.

In truth, he hadn't done so even as they started dating. Kise thought it wasn't a big deal since it was a common practice for an Alpha to have multiple lovers, although Kasamatsu was different than the others. Kise prioritised him. Kasamatsu was his favourite. He went on genuine dates that didn't involve sex in the end of the day and he actually waited for a month until Kasamatsu felt comfortable enough to have sex, with the usual excuse was that they had to practice for the tournaments.

And Kasamatsu hated the fact that Kise had other lovers.

As usual, he never said anything. He  _endured_.

Kise was aware the expectation of a lover from a lesser Seed level that Kasamatsu couldn't ask nor mention that he didn't like that Kise mingled with others. It was a traditional viewpoint that other countries might have forgotten, but in Japan, this tradition survived. But Kise knew how much it made Kasamatsu unhappy.

The first time he noticed, they had a date planned.

He admitted, ever since they started dating, Kise's attention was focused on Kasamatsu almost entirely. On the weekends, they went out together, spending time when it wasn't disturbed by basketball practice or anything like that. He ignored the other lovers. It got to the point when one of them went to his apartment unannounced, surprised him in the doorsteps and then proceeded to attack him.

In result, he ran late for the date with Kasamatsu, stinking of her scent and sex. He didn't have time to shower.

Of course Kasamatsu would notice. How could he not?

The first reaction was the sudden tension, visible in the way his entire body went stiff. The second, was a pair of widened steel blue eyes, staring up at him blankly. As if in denial, for a second or two before the look on his face was struck by a grim realisation. At that point, Kise wanted to explain himself, but his voice was stuck in his throat and he soon found that he didn't know what to say.

Then it progressed downwards from there.

The knitted eyebrows. If usually they looked as if Kasamatsu was permanently displeased, this time it was the direct opposite. Sadness. Disappointment. Something Kise had never seen on him, it sent a cold painful sensation pricking within his chest, spreading out viciously. He realised later on, that it had been guilt.

He saw the glazed grey blue gaze faltered, fallen down and fixated at the ground beneath them.

"I — I have to go. I forgot … something. At home." A slight tremble of his lips. His voice quivered, soft. Unlike the Captain, or the senior. It didn't sound like it belonged to Kasamatsu Yukio.

His own throat was constricted with pressure, but Kise forced himself to speak. "Senpai — "

"I have to go. Don't — don't come after me." Kasamatsu repeated, his tone firmer, this time. Kise couldn't see his face because he'd looked away and turned on his heels, then walked into a large crowd around the train station area. Kasamatsu bumped his shoulders against several people and almost fell on his feet, but managed to keep himself up.

Against his will, Kise tried to chase after him. But the crowd on a Saturday in the middle of Tokyo had hidden Kasamatsu, as if trying to protect him from the pain Kise had inflicted.

—

After his first defeat against Kagami and Kuroko, he couldn't get over the fact that he'd lost.

Since then, Kise had been practicing nonstop. He attended morning practice earlier, didn't skip the schedule and he'd taken less modelling gigs for the sake of improving his plays. It was odd how one loss could change him to that point, now he took basketball more seriously, and he'd started spending more time with the Kaijou team. Gradually, he learned how to work with them, how to connect his passes with theirs. It was awkward at first, then it improved with each game they played for practice.

He even started bonding with the team. Each had their own specialty that Kise grew to appreciate. It was different, he felt like Kaijou was more open in regards of strategy and constructive criticism. Unlike Teikou, where he could play however he liked as long as they won, Kaijou actually tailored their style to best assist their ace, with team work. It was different, but wasn't unwelcome.

He'd almost forgotten all about the silly game before, now his head was preoccupied with methods on how to win against Seirin the next time they met in court.

" — don't you think this method works better? We should block Kurokocchi and prevent him from assisting Kagamicchi." He suggested, during a meeting with the starting players.

"Easier said than done, that kid's kind of hard to see." Moriyama commented, scratching the back of his head. "But if there's a cute girl who'd cheer me up, I'm up for it! I don't care if he's a ghost, I'll catch him for sure!"

Everyone in attendance shot an exasperated look at the senior, almost in unison.

Kasamatsu clapped his hands to draw their attention. "Alright. Let's practice what Kise suggested, Nakamura. You play as Kuroko, can you do that?"

"Me?" The bespectacled boy seemed hesitant.

"Yes, you. Come on. Interhigh is in a few weeks."

Kise picked up a ball from the floor and stared at it. He recalled the memories of his first loss that raised his motivation level. He'd never lost since he'd become a starter player in Teikou, he was used to winning effortlessly that he felt nothing about it, and now … it felt sort of exciting. He had a goal, to beat Kagami and Kuroko, then maybe the rest of the Generation of Miracles.

"Hey," A hand tapped his shoulder, wakening him from his thoughts. He turned and saw Kasamatsu was looking at something beneath him, he followed his line of sight and found his shoes. "Your shoes are tattered. You've been practicing with them too much, haven't you?" He looked up and asked.

"Uh, yeah. Kind of. There's a basketball court around my neighbourhood." Which he used to practice on weekends, nowadays.

"They'll affect your play. It's not good." Kasamatsu remarked, pausing. "Go shopping with me on Saturday, I know where you can get good quality imported shoes."

Kise blinked.

"Shopping? With you, Senpai?" He asked, in case he'd heard wrong.

"Yeah, Kise. With me." Kasamatsu smiled and ruffled his hair, taking him by surprise. "I have to go buy some new strings for my guitar anyways. It's in the same shopping district."

And he didn't expect Kasamatsu would be a guitar kind of guy. "You play guitar?"

The older boy took the ball from Kise, dribbling the ball lightly. "Yeah, I play it in my spare times."

"Then," He swallowed a little. The Captain actually did something relaxing once in a while that didn't involve spartan training. So many surprises in one sitting. "It's a date? I'm free next Saturday."

He saw Kasamatsu's cheeks flared lightly, flushing.

"… don't say it like that, geez. It's just shopping, don't read too much into it." He nudged his elbow to Kise's side, but it didn't hurt. "But yeah. I'll meet you in front of the station on Saturday? I'll text you the time." Kise watched as Kasamatsu walked away to position himself in the court, the orange ball in hands.

It occurred to him that was the first time Kasamatsu asked him out — well, not exactly in that way — outside of school or club. And only with Kise? He didn't know what to make out of it. Usually Kasamatsu ignored him unless it was something related with club, but it looked like he was being  _friendly_. Whoa.

Kise was beginning to see Kasamatsu in a different light.

—

It took a while, but he'd managed to break it off with everyone. Now, Kasamatsu was the only lover Kise had and the only one he wanted to focus on.

He knew this had become beyond just casual dating. Kise had lost interest in other people. That never happened before — it was strange, but he was happy. Being with Kasamatsu brought out all sorts of things that he didn't think he was capable of.

Like how he actually liked holding hands with Kasamatsu when they were out on a date, that spending a lazy Sunday together in bed became something he looked forward to every week, or that he became insanely jealous whenever Kasamatsu was approached by his secret admirers. He never knew he could be possessive over a lover. When he looked at Kasamatsu and kissed him, Kise wanted this to last forever.

He was in love.

What a scary thing it was, yet exceedingly exhilarating at the same time. Kise was on cloud nine.

If there was something that disturbed this happiness, was the fact that Kasamatsu was due to graduate next year. His time in school was limited. Kise was more than upset that they wouldn't get to spend as much time together, especially when Kasamatsu would move out for college. He was already unhappy that the preparation for university entrance exam had taken over his mate's schedule and they had less time to meet up after Winter Cup was over.

When they met up, it was a precious time that Kise refused to waste. He wished he could have Kasamatsu for himself, even knowing it was impossible.

"Kasamatsu-Senpai." As soon as the door to his apartment closed, Kise had Kasamatsu's back against the wall, kissing him passionately. It had been a week or two since they had sex, Kasamatsu was busy with the tests. Kise could have him this Sunday, the whole day.

His needs were urgent, he wanted Kasamatsu so much — his hands opened the jacket and slipped under the sweater, touching and stroking the sensitive spots he could find.

"Ki… se …" Kasamatsu gasped against his lips when he ground himself against Kasamatsu, hooking one of his leg up, around his waist.

The older boy hadn't even the chance to take off his shoes, and Kise kept devouring his mouth in urgency, preventing him from speaking. His fingers were unbuckling the button of his jeans. "Not - not here." Kasamatsu managed to say, pushing him by the shoulder. His face was flushed, lips swollen and wet with the kisses.

Kise growled, disappointed, but didn't push further.

He let Kasamatsu took off his shoes and jacket properly, then entered the bedroom, before Kise cornered him again, pushing him down onto the bed. Clothes were thrown haphazardly, Kasamatsu was still in his sweater and Kise still in his jeans, when he inched into Kasamatsu. The tightness surrounded his cock, making him breathless.

"You … okay?" He asked, panting. He ran a hand through matted blond that got onto his face.

Kasamatsu took several deep breaths as Kise stopped, fully sheathed inside of him him. "I'm okay." He said, firmly, sweat beading on his temples. "Just… slow down."

He didn't want it to be over too quickly, so Kise patiently waited. He waited until Kasamatsu relaxed, before he started a pace, going in and out of him, enjoying every bit of the sensation. The sweat, the smell of their pheromones mingled together, it was addictive. He couldn't get enough of it, of how well they suited each other, how right this felt for Kise. He kissed Kasamatsu, several times, licked the sweat off of his temples, trailed his lips down and marked him with vibrant red marks.

"Hnnn, Kise. Kise…" He heard Kasamatsu moaned his name, it made him grow harder. He bit his lips and moved faster, more desperately. Beneath him, Kasamatsu had lost control, tossing and groaning and moaning — cheeks flushed red and eyes squeezed, his claws made thin scores over Kise's back. The sting felt good.

"… Yukio… san." Kise whispered in his ear, driving into him. Their bodies were joint again and again, until Kasamatsu reached his peak then Kise followed suit, pulling out and coming onto his stomach. Their semen mixed and mingled.

Kise loved Kasamatsu. He'd never felt this way. Never thought love was something incredibly intoxicating, he was becoming an addict. He wanted no cure. The feel of Kasamatsu's skin against his felt so right, like it was meant to be. In the back of his mind, he could hear the Great Wolf howl proudly, its voice resounded in his head.

' _Our mate. He is ours.'_  He couldn't agree more.

—

They'd lost to Touou.

He'd cried over it. He'd failed to lead Kaijou to victory as their ace, and it was painful. Suffocating. He was beyond disappointed. He'd failed himself, and failed the team. Most importantly, he'd failed Kasamatsu, who'd gone out of his way to help him during practice and supported him throughout the match. He couldn't get it over his head. Kise wanted to apologise to his Captain. The seniors told him not to look for Kasamatsu, but Kise needed to talk to him. He left the group to search for him.

He'd reached the entrance door of the locker room, hesitating.

Kise took a moment to gather up courage and his hand was on the door knob, about to turn it, when a loud clattering slam startled him.

" _SHIT!_ "

He blinked once. It sounded familiar.

Then, there were sobs. In a second, he realised what was going on. Unconsciously, Kise broadened his earshot, his ears strained to listen to the familiar voice. "Shit … ugh…" Another sob, which was followed by another and another. Sniffles. He heard something drip, falling onto the floor with faint splashes.

Kise inhaled sharply, knowing he was listening to something forbidden. A secret.

Kasamatsu Yukio was crying.

He'd looked so calm, accepted the defeat amicably and even took the time to console their teammates. Kise thought that was admirable, how composed he'd been in dealing with everything. But this … he swallowed. He shouldn't be here, he thought. This was private. He was crossing the line. Yet his legs didn't move, and he made no attempt to leave the scene.

There was a part him that was curious.

Gulping nervously, Kise stepped forward, his hand reached for the door knob and turned it, making as little sounds as possible.

He knew that what he saw next, it changed everything.

—

"I'm thinking, maybe we should break up."

When Kasamatsu uttered those words, his head went blank.

He didn't expect that at all, given the time and the location. It was Saturday and they were having lunch in a cafe by the park, overlooking a large fountain in the middle area, where kids and their parents were playing various activities. Winter had just passed and it was warmer that day. His pasta was half-eaten, and his coffee was finished. It didn't sink immediately.

"Why?" Was all that he could say.

In truth, he wasn't really listening. His mind was still on that very question, the words 'break up' echoed in his head, repeating endlessly. His ears were catching too many sounds, voices overloading his senses, children laughing, the utensils clashing with the plates, waiters taking orders, then Kasamatsu — Kasamatsu was explaining something about him being a third year and it was time to focus on college preparation, all the while avoiding eye contact.

" — that's why. I think we should stop … seeing each other." Kasamatsu concluded, this time looking at him in the eyes. They were dim, unlike the strong gaze he always held.

' _But you love me_.' Kise wanted to say, but his voice was lost somewhere. "You want to break up with me." He said, with a flat tone. "Because of college?"

He saw those steely blue eyes faltered, the strength diminishing, drifting off slightly. He bit his lips, the flesh reddened under a set of white teeth. "Yes."

Someone in the back dropped their fork, the metal clatter rang in his ears. _'But I love you.'_  The voice in his mind never reached his mouth. Instead, another set of words came out, his voice was still flat — devoid of emotions. "Is that so."

He didn't know why. His heart started beating rapidly inside of his chest, the mixture of the noises hurt his head.

Kasamatsu looked like he wanted to say something, then he paused, before seemingly deciding it was best to say it. "Kise, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" The question came out before he could think about it.

' _Why are you leaving me?_ ' That was what he truly wanted to ask.

Kasamatsu swallowed. "Because — because I'm — " He paused and fell silent. He looked like a thousand things were running inside of his mind all at once. It was odd. Kasamatsu looked baffled, confused, lost. All of those things. " … I'm sorry." He finally uttered, voice soft.

In the back of his mind, it was chaos.

A lot of things crossed his head. Most prominently was a strong sense of denial. Every inch of his whole being refused to accept that Kasamatsu wanted to break up with him. Denial. Rejection. His brain scrambled for a way to make this stop — this painful sensation that started rising from the pit of his stomach. Words like "don't leave me," "let's stay together," "please, I love you," and a hundred of others ran through his head. He was ready to beg to stop Kasamatsu from leaving.

Then something else emerged.

He was reminded that those words had sounded awfully familiar. Memories of the past came to him, the images of him dumping his past lovers and temporary mates. How they'd begged and pleaded, with tears in their eyes, for him not to leave, professing their love for him with a pitiful voice. They clung, they pleaded, they begged and cried, yet Kise still left. How sad and pathetic they sounded.

His mind overlapped their images with Kise's own, crying and begging.

And it appalled him.

He balled his fists. " … the next Heat Season." He said. "Accompany me in the next Heat Season, Senpai."

Kasamatsu looked at him like he thought he'd heard wrong. "What?"

For the first time in months, he put on the fake smile Kise reserved for his fans and the modelling job. The complete opposite of the chaos on the inside. The Wolf was roused from silence, snarling deeply, angry. "After the next Heat Season's over, I'll break up with you."

The first time he fell in love, he was about to make the biggest mistake in his life.

—

He hadn't meant to kiss Kasamatsu like that.

Kise was gloomy. He'd made a  _big_  mistake. "Stupid! I'm a fucking idiot." He scolded himself, slamming his head against the locker door to punish himself. He paused, forehead still connected to the metal surface. He brought a hand up to touch his lips, stroking the surface with the pads of his fingers.

"… it was salty." And wet. Very wet. After all, Kasamatsu had been crying.

His cheeks grew hot at the memory.

"I took advantage of him." He sighed glumly.

He barged in when Kasamatsu was crying alone in the locker room, of course he was found out immediately. The room was dark and once the door opened, no matter how sneakily and silently he tried to make it, the light still went inside the room. Kise saw the full extent of Kasamatsu's face after he'd cried his eyes out. Puffy eyes, wet cheeks, dripping nose — no wonder he was horrified when he noticed Kise was around.

Of course he'd be angry.

However, as he was scolding Kise to "get the fuck out", Kise instead took a closer look at his face and suddenly he was overcome by this strong compulsion to wipe his tears away. And what did he do? He  _kissed_  Kasamatsu. Kise earned a slap on the cheek for his trouble, but that was after the blank stare and Kasamatsu flushing instantaneously, as soon as he realised what happened. He ran out of the room after that.

"I'm an idiot." Kise sighed. "Why did I do that?"

He already knew the answer to that question — Kise's cheeks grew hotter.

"I like him."

—

TBC.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There's a reason why I put the timelines in this order, instead of the 'normal' order. Timeline 1, starts after Kasa and Kise began dating. There were happy moments, and the unhappy ones. Timeline 2, it starts before they date. Like most people, they have a fairly normal beginning (except the rocky first impression). They become friends first before being attracted with each other.
> 
> I don't know why, but I think putting it in this order is giving a contrast to how those two timelines clash together. Timeline 1 is the 'descend to darkness' where things start to go wrong, while Timeline 2 features the parts where it used to be pure and innocent for the both of them. Next part will start from where it's left off in  **BC**. :O


	2. Bottom of the Pit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh wow. I really didn't expect the reaction would be this much. Thanks for the kudos and comments, guys! People seem to like Kise being an asshole (or more like inner monologues show how he is in the inside) But yeah, that's just how I always see him as; a two-faced guy who's way more than his appearances suggest. Altho the portrayal is tailored with slight exaggeration to suit this AU, that is how I generally interpret Kise's character from Canon.
> 
> lol I just don't see the characters as perfect human beings, they're imperfect, they make mistakes, they do things that make you think "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!?". That's what makes it so fun to write, for me. And Kise needs to learn that lesson, yeah?
> 
> Also! Someone requested for  **Kaijou Team's List of Breed!**  Here we go:  
> 1\. Kise Ryouta : Japanese Wolf / Heavy Seed (ES)  
> 2\. Kasamatsu Yukio : Shikoku Inu / Light Seed  
> 3\. Moriyama Yoshitaka : Eurasian Lynx / Middle Seed  
> 4\. Kobori Koji : Black Bear / Middle Seed  
> 5\. Hayakawa Mitsuhiro : Asian Shepard / Middle Seed  
> 6\. Nakamura Shinya : Malayan Monitor Lizard / Middle Seed  
> 7\. Takeuchi Genta (coach) : Giant Panda / Heavy Seed (ES)
> 
>  **Protection Status:**    
> ES: Endangered Species
> 
>  **Kasa's Brothers' Chara Design:**  http://circle-tcon.tumblr.com/post/118706344849/

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 1 : Bottom of the Pit

—

"Why don't you get rid of it? Have an abortion."

If Kasamatsu could lay himself bare of all superfluous factors, they would see how it was behind the walls — he, brittle and full of anxiety and weaknesses, a foundation made of cracked stones and bones that had grown weary, from the heartsore and the strain. And now, something was stirred from within him the moment he heard Kuroko speak, awakening with a slow, sluggish motion. It was akin to burning, but it was ice cold — a thousand needles pricking into his limbs. He was stiff, tense — pinned down, like a sample of a preserved dead insect.

That was how he felt, anyway.

"Kuroko!? What are you talking about!?"

A flash of golden hair crossed his mind — Fair skin. Honey-coloured eyes, gazing at him. A stretched pair of lips, smiling, forming words without a sound. But he knew what he said, he'd seen it move in the exact same motion, a thousand times over. The same three words.

Would the child have Kise's eyes, his lips, his hair? What a strange thing to think about at this moment.

Kuroko's explanation barely made it into his ears. His tired, muddled brain worked to recognise the words, from the ears, the sounds went up through the tubes, where the part of his brain would rationalise them — even when he didn't want to.

" … no." He didn't sound like himself. He couldn't remember how he normally sounded like. "I don't want to abort."

 _His_  eyes.  _His_  lips.  _His_  hair. Would the baby  _smile_  like him, too?

Kasamatsu wanted to stop the painful clench in his chest, but didn't know how. He just wanted it to stop.

"Why?"

He looked up at saw the pair of blue eyes, cold like ice, staring at him — it caught him off guard. How strong they were, like he was seeing  _through_  him. "I — because —" He stuttered. "This is … Kise's … "

A sigh.

"Yes, indeed it is Kise-kun's child. But the one who carries the child is you. Your body is yours, Kasamatsu-san. It is not his." Kuroko calmly said.

 _Stop_. A voice in his mind said. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to hear. He was far too tired to fight, too weary to put up the walls — too vulnerable to protect himself. Too much. Too much was going on — from his fatigued mind, chaos emerged — then it spread like a poisonous disease, reaching all of him within seconds. The composure crumbled, the silence was blaring and the cold  _burned_.

 _Please,_  s _top it._

He felt himself turning into something hateful. A burst of anger. Genuine and raw — a primal instinct being awoken from the depths of slumber, from within the upturned cage where he'd always kept 'it' tame, muzzled and disciplined. But now the chains were broken and the collar was forcefully ripped apart. Freed and uncontrolled, 'it' snarled in fury, the rage seeped out of every pore of his skin.

"Or, if you wish to give birth to the child, there is also an option to hand the baby to Kise-kun's family or put the baby up for adoption. There are plenty of options available —"

He couldn't control it when the blood boiled and reached the top of his head. He let out an animalistic roar, the territorial possessiveness in his voice split the thin air — it bounced against the wall and sent out a set of indistinct echos, resounding throughout the room. Kasamatsu couldn't even remember what he'd screamed, after the words left his lips.

He only realised what he'd done when his features turned human and a drop of tear slid down his cheek, his eyes burned with a wet heat. He could barely register when he automatically reacted to wipe the tears away with the sleeve of his shirt, and then he averted his eyes, ashamed. His arms protectively wrapped around himself, as if he would crumble right there and then if he didn't.

"I won't give it up… this baby is … mine."

Kuroko had looked at him, but Kasamatsu didn't dare to look back — those icy blue eyes, they looked as if they were looking through him, to see every inch of the weaknesses and insecurities manifested in him, the ruined remains of what was left of him. It was unnerving.

Then Kuroko stood up. Unexpectedly, his expression twisted in guilt. It took him by surprise. The younger boy bowed apologetically. "I see. I'm sorry, Kasamatsu-san. I didn't mean to upset you. Please forgive me." He'd said, with nothing but earnestness in his words.

Kasamatsu turned to him, when the initial surprise retreated, he forced a smile. "No, you … you made a fair point, really. There are other options. But I — I guess I need time to think it over." He could hear the faint growl emerging from his subconscious, but he was far too spent to feel anything else. Kasamatsu rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply. "… could you two please leave me alone? I'd like to rest."

Kuroko nodded, bowing once again. "Of course. My mom is waiting for me as well. Let's go, Furihata-kun."

 _Lies_. The deep growl from the back of his mind said.  _Always with the lies._

Kasamatsu gritted his teeth, and waved at the two younger boys.  _Shut up_. He mentally snapped, trying to curb the adrenaline rushing through his veins, to calm down the fizzing instincts. He calmly looked on as they vanished behind closed doors, leaving him with a thick sense of seclusion that barely felt comforting. His gaze lowered and the waving hand halted, falling onto the sheets.

He was just so tired.

Idly, his fingers reached for the sheets and clutched, his head was throbbing with a dull ache. Exertion and exhaustion, his mind and body were robbed of the strength to keep himself up. He touched his temples with the pads of his fingers, feeling the veins pulsed beneath a thin layer of skin.

" _You're pregnant…? Is that true!? Yukio, explain!"_  His father had been furious, the look on his face, his features twisted with anger and disappointment. His ears had rang keenly at his father's wrath, his words echoed inside of his head.

His mother had looked frightened and confused, looking up at her angry husband and then to him. Her eyes were full of denial and confusion.  _"Yukio-chan, this must be some sort of mistake, right…?"_

" _Aniki, what's going on!? You never told me anything about this."_  Aki, the middle child with a temper worse than his, had looked shocked. He'd looked more confused than upset, he hadn't registered the weigh of the truth. Kasamatsu didn't know what else to tell him, he could only fall silent.

And Fuyuki, the baby of the family, whose childhood was spent on following him around and who used to bawl his eyes out when their mother told him he couldn't follow their oldest brother to middle school. He was quieter than Aki, well-behaved, but he possessed a sharp tongue that cut more than a razor could.

" _It's him isn't it!? He made you do it! Nii-san would never do something like this without telling us! What did you do to him!?_ " He pointed an accusing finger at Kise, who had been uncharacteristically silent.

His head hurt.

The silence of the room did nothing to elevate his grim mood. The lingering smell of his own intimidation scent was still fresh and he didn't really want to take it in, right now. Fuyuki hadn't come back yet, either. Kasamatsu quietly got off the bed, making his way out of the room without having to use the crutches provided for him at the corner. He wasn't hurt badly, even though the doctor had recommended that he shouldn't walk around without supervision. He didn't care.

The whole place a reminder of the unpleasant memories he had during captive, what else could happen? He couldn't imagine anything worse than this.

The stink of the hospital — the smell of illness, medicine and stale sterilised rooms, they sickened him.

He didn't know where to go, really. He let his instincts lead him to where he thought he could be alone, at peace, to think and calm himself down. Stranger things had happened, but it was still curious that his legs brought him to the hospital nursery. When he lifted his gaze was standing before a large glass pane overlooking the rows of newborn babies in their small, wheeled beddings. It was a separate department, for the werepeople's children.

There wasn't anyone around the vicinity. The scent was especially different there. It had the pleasant fragrances of milk, oil and baby powder. It was a good change of pace.

He stopped and glanced at several feline cubs and puppies whose eyes barely opened, as well as a few baby lizards and snakes, yet to have gained any human feature and were still terribly small, vulnerable. Kasamatsu gently put a hand over the glass window, eyes locked at a small puppy with golden brown tufts, enclosed eyes and a small mouth. Was it a boy or a girl, he mused by himself. Was it a golden retriever pup? Its tiny ears flopped down adorably, he was reminded of way back when Fuyuki and Akira were born. They were small and chubby, eyes barely opened.

How nostalgic. The corner of his lips twitched upwards at the memory.

Out of the blue, something touched his cheek and slipped off the surface of his skin. Before he realised what it was, his cheeks had grown wet, beads of salty tears trickled down and slid into his lips, forcing him to understand what was going on.

Mortified, he tried to wipe the tears away, but as soon as he did, more came out. More, and then more. He'd wiped it and rubbed his eyes so hard the thin skin of his eyelids itched with a hot burn, but he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the tears. It was beyond ridiculous.

"… why …" He choked out, his voice trembled.

The sleeves of his pyjamas had large wet blots from where he'd attempted to rub his eyes. Kasamatsu bit his lips, his vision had blurred, the burning heat had reached down to the inside of his chest, fastening tightly around his heart like a rope made of barbed wire.

"… ugh." He ducked his head, forehead touched the cool glass, fingers circled over the surface, one hand covered his mouth to muffle the sobs.

The drops of tears fell to the floor, creating a small puddle over his own shadow. He felt his heart shook when he took in the sight.

" _Have an abortion._ "

His ears caught a faint whine from one of the puppies in the nursery. It rattled something inside of him.

He couldn't do this.

It was too much. Far, _far_ too much. He was frightened, worried and far too anxious. The crippling fear was overcoming his senses, when he thought of what would happen in the future, or when he recalled his family's reaction to this. Too many things happened in a short time. He didn't know anything — he wasn't prepared for  _this_. How would he carry on from now on? He had no idea. He never felt so scared before in his life.

A flash of golden appeared before his eyelids, his mind recalled the sight of a familiar smile, a warm pair of honey-coloured eyes and his assuring voice. "… Kise …" He murmured, another salty drop slipped into his mouth as he parted his lips, calling out the same name, repeating it in his mind over and over again. "Kise…"

"Yuki?"

Kasamatsu snapped his widened eyes towards the source of the voice, and found Kobori, standing three feet away from where he was, eyes wide and mouth parted.

"Kobori…" He rasped, voice nasal and throat suddenly constricted, quickly realising the state he was in and how he might have looked right then. He looked away, desperately dried off his wet eyes and face with his shirt, then straightened his back, shame rising from the pit of his stomach. He hadn't wanted for anyone to see him in such a state, to think Kasamatsu cried in a very public hallway of a hospital … he was too careless.

Kasamatsu bit back a strangled whimper and took several deep breaths to gather himself, although he must've looked like a mess right now, the least he could do was try to act normal.

However, before he could prepare himself, another familiar voice emerged. "Kobo! The nurse said Yuki-chan's room is at the — " He stopped when he spotted Kasamatsu. "Yuki? There you are! We were looking for you!"

Kasamatsu tensed and automatically turned out of habit, noticing too late because Moriyama had walked towards him with arms opened. Kobori's hand was in the middle of catching the latter's shoulder, in a small fit of panic. "Wait, Mori - !" He whispered in a forced hush. Moriyama stopped on his track in result, one shoulder pulled back.

"Wha — " He staggered backwards before he could reach Kasamatsu. Yet he was already close enough to take a good look at him, he must've noticed the dried streaks of tears that he'd failed to clean up. "… Yuki-chan?" Moriyama uttered, pupils dilated, staring at him.

Kasamatsu clenched his jaw and averted his eyes. "Moriyama. Kobori. I didn't expect you to be here." He, instead, redirected the topic. "I thought you two were at school?"

Moriyama actually sounded offended when he responded. "Are you kidding? You went missing for a week, Yuki-chan! Your mom said you weren't home, and when we knew you're hospitalised — school won't miss us for skipping a day. We were worried!"

"Moriyama. Take it easy." Kobori warned, his tone careful.

He stepped to Moriyama's side and trailed his gaze up and down at Kasamatsu, expression growing concerned. "You don't look well, and those injuries … care to tell us what happened during last week?" He pointed out the bandages.

He hesitated for a moment, but Kasamatsu knew he owed some sort of explanation to his friends. He had been missing for a week without so much an explanation, and he didn't think the police had released statements regarding his abduction to the general mass. The information was restricted to his immediate family. Even then, it was heavily filtered.

"It's a long story." He started, avoiding the questioning glances the other two threw at each other, then at him. "Let's get back to my room. I'll tell you there."

He brought them back to the patient room he'd been staying in for the past few days. It was empty, Fuyuki hadn't come back yet.

Moriyama and Kobori sat on then chairs by the bed, while he sat on the bed. He drew in a deep breath, reluctant for a short while, because he didn't know whether he could tell his friends. Akashi told him that in the recent information leaked about the abduction case, his name was protected from the press. Kise's identity, in the other hand, was exposed along with Kuroko's. Which was part of the reason why he'd told Kise to go home, to avoid the media's attention. His family knew about the abduction, however, and he wasn't told to hide the truth from his family and friends.

In the end, he told Moriyama and Kobori a portion of what had really happened.

"You … were kidnapped? With Kuroko and … Kise." After his story was finished, Kobori sank into his seat, back reclined, in an attempt to let it properly digested into his mind. It seemed a lot to take in. "I know the news mentioned about a few victims other than Kise and Kuroko, but… you, too? Why?"

"It wasn't for money." It was to use him to lure out Kise, Kasamatsu frowned at the memory. "They were trying to get to Kise, through me."

Both of them fell quiet, seemingly unsure whether it was alright to ask further.

"Are you okay? How are you, Yuki?" Moriyama asked, looking grim, unlike his usual cheery, ridiculous self.

He opened his mouth, but closed it after a thoughtful second. "I'm fine." He said.

Kobori and Moriyama exchanged looks. The former warily turned to him, back straightened and gaze stiffened.

"Yuki, I can hardly believe that, to be honest. You've just experienced a kidnapping, held in captive for a week, you're injured and are currently hospitalised, and you smell like — " He paused when Moriyama nudged his side with his elbow. " — I mean, you don't have to hold back on us." He calmly finished. "We're your friends."

"I know." Kasamatsu chewed the inside of his cheeks. "I know. Thanks, Koji. I … I just need some rest. It's been … overwhelming and traumatic. It's a lot to deal with." He admitted, staring at his own lap. He had too many things in his mind to be able to decide which plight was the worst, which one should he deal with first?

"Where's Kise? Why are you alone? Why isn't he here?" Moriyama suddenly bombarded him with questions, eyebrows furrowing.

Kasamatsu held his breath.

"I told him to go back home. Fuyuki's buying food right now." He calmly told them, without spilling the details. They didn't need to know too much.

"Fuyu-chan's here?" One slim eyebrow went up. "His school finishes early today?"

"He skipped." Kasamatsu sighed, rubbing his temples. Fuyuki had skipped school to look after him in the hospital, while it was admirable, he was supposed to be studying for exams. "I told him I'll be okay by myself today, because tomorrow I'll be discharged anyway. But he insisted."

Kobori offered him a smile. "Well, that's sweet of him. Yuki, you're not well enough yet. You should be looked after until you're safely home."

"Yeah, I know. He's a good kid." A smile rose on his lips. His youngest brother might be in a difficult age right now, but he was a nice, caring kid who was only worried about him. Even though he could run his mouth in the bad way, sometimes.

"When are you going back to school?" The shorter of the other two asked, his expression lit up. "It's been lonely without you, Yuki-chan!" Moriyama beamed.

His smile fell again at the question, and he knew Kobori noticed it. He shifted on his seat. "Next Monday, maybe." He casually said. "And stop that. It's creepy, Yoshi. You act like I'm a girl."

" — I mean, who else is going to accompany me to watch the female volleyball club practice? You know that Koji's an awful wingman, Yuki-chan." Moriyama continued his babbling.

"… and you think I'm the better choice. Are you blind?"

The three of them burst out in laughter. Kasamatsu could feel the mood lighten up with Moriyama's usual antics and Kobori laughing heartily alongside him. He felt like he hadn't laughed like this in a long time — like he could forget his problems even for only a few minutes. It was good. He felt better. "Thanks for visiting, Yoshi. Koji." Kasamatsu gratefully said.

"Don't mention it, Yuki." Kobori smiled.

"Aww, Yuki-chan. You know I'm happy too see you!" Moriyama beamed, then stood up and sat next to him, flinging an arm over his shoulder and pressing their cheeks together.

Kasamatsu jokingly shoved him away, throwing him a disgusted look. "Get off, asshole. You stink of sweat."

Just then, the door creaked open to reveal Fuyuki, carrying a big plastic bag in his hand and sporting a surprised look on his face. He glanced at Kobori, then to Moriyama and Kasamatsu on the bed. He frowned at the sight of the two, eyebrows knitted.

"… Yoshitaka-san, please don't act too friendly with Nii-san. He's unwell right now. How inappropriate, as usual." He snarked, closing the door behind him.

Moriyama cringed. "Ouch. You're cute but you say the meanest things, Fuyu-chan."

"Don't call me that!" Fuyuki huffed annoyedly, he walked over to an empty table at the edge of the bed that they used for the patient's meal time. He cranked it up and put the plastic bag there, taking out a clear plastic box. Kasamatsu's nose twitched when he smelled Nikujaga from that box. It smelled delicious.

"Nii-san, I'm sorry about earlier." Fuyuki quietly said, before he could say anything else. He had a faint blush on his cheeks, looking down at the table, guiltily. "I thought you must be hungry and you said the hospital food doesn't taste good, right? I heard from the nurses that the restaurant across the street sells delicious Nikujaga, so…" He didn't continue, shyly glancing up at him.

"… bro-com." Moriyama whispered, earning an elbow-to-gut hit from Kasamatsu.

"Yoshi, shut up." He snapped, smiling to his sweet little brother. "Thanks, Fuyu. I was getting hungry myself."

"Y - yeah. Of course, Nii-san." The youngest Kasamatsu grinned toothily.

"You're so thoughtful, Fuyuki-kun." Kobori laughed. "How have you been? You've grown taller again since the last time I saw you."

"I'm still growing. Thank you for visiting my Nii-san, Koji-san." Fuyuki uttered and bowed politely to Kobori.

"Wait, you're not thanking me?" Moriyama protested instantly, pouting.

The youngest of them ignored the latter, he focused on Kobori instead. "Koji-san, how's the entrance exam? Has it gone well?"

Kobori nodded, throwing a sorry look at Moriyama. "If everything goes well, Yuki, Yoshi and I are going to be in the same university next April." He told him with a happy smile. "For now, we're busy with the final school exams."

"I've been missing a few classes, could you lend me your notes later, Koji?" Kasamatsu asked, trying not to make his voice sound strained. Fuyuki glanced at him, but didn't say anything.

"Sure, Yuki. I'll have them ready for you, next Monday. Come over to my class."

Kobori and Moriyama stayed with him for the rest of the day. He shared the Nikujaga Fuyuki bought for him, because there was so much of it; there were two plastic boxes of them and another two with white rice. Kasamatsu didn't have much appetite, but forced himself to eat anyway. Unconsciously, he thought he had to do it because he was eating for two now, before he had to stop himself from thinking too much of it. He didn't have enough strength to think of the topic with a rational mind.

Later on, Furihata dropped by again, this time without Kuroko.

The brunette was surprised to see it had become lively in Kasamatsu's room, with Moriyama and Kobori around. But he didn't seem to mind, in fact, he'd looked happy for him.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Kasamatsu-san. Kuroko was also sorry about what he said — he's gone home already though. His mom said it was getting late. He didn't mean badly." He bowed deeply to him, even after Kasamatsu had said it wasn't a big deal. The brunette had smiled at him, glancing at his Kaijou friends. Fuyuki was snarking at Moriyama's antics, while Kobori laughed at him. "I'm glad to see you're looking better, now."

"Thanks, Furihata." He'd offered the boy a genuine smile.

Furihata had to leave early because his older brother was waiting outside of the room, reminding him the doctor would drop by soon. Later on, Kobori and Moriyama left in the evening around six, promising to come visit him at home after he was discharged. They'd come after school.

"I'll see you later, Yuki-chan. Fuyu-chan." Moriyama had said, taking the former into his arms for a quick hug.

"Yuki. We'll come to visit again." Kobori gave him a warm smile.

"Yeah, I'll see you two later." Kasamatsu returned the gesture. He felt a bit sad that they had to leave so soon, but they'd already gone all the way to skip school to visit him. It was getting late and they had to catch the train.

"Also." Kobori stopped before he left the room, glancing at him with a strange knowing glint in his eyes. "… Yuki, you know we won't judge you. You don't need to worry about that. I just want you to know that." He uttered, slowly, his gaze faltered towards Moriyama, who nodded once at the subtle language.

"Yuki-chan, we'll wait until you're ready to tell us everything." Moriyama added.

Kasamatsu fell silent.

"Thank you … for understanding." He stared at the balled fists over the bedsheets, and said nothing more.

His mom and Akira dropped by in the evening, after she was done with work. Akira had smelled of soap, fresh out of the gym showers after basketball practice, as usual. "You skipped practice today." Akira bluntly said to their youngest, looking unhappy with crossed arms and deep eyebrow furrows. Kobori had once commented that Akira looked exactly like him when he was angry, and Kasamatsu wondered whether he really looked like he was about to chew up and spit out someone for skipping practice.

"Someone must be looking after Nii-san, Aki-Nii." Fuyuki defended himself. He wasn't about to back down from the argument.

The furrows deepened. "You could've told me."

"You would've said no, gym freak." When Akira grew visibly more annoyed, he quickly added. "Okay, okay! I'll take extra laps tomorrow! Jeez! Aki-Nii, you're so strict since you've become the Captain! Not even sparing me a break … " He complained, sticking out the bottom of his lip.

Kasamatsu had to laugh at that. "Naturally, since he's the Captain, Fuyu. Just give it up."

"How's practice, Aki?" He asked when the middle child took a seat on the chair by his bed. Their mom and Fuyu were unpacking the fruits she bought for him.

"It's been going. I've been meaning to consult to you regarding the effective training methods … Coach said I'd intimidate the freshmen too much at this point." Akira grimly said. "But I thought he was being unreasonable, Aniki. What if the freshmen this year aren't good enough? I remember how it was last year. Their basics were too weak."

"Aki, you're too impatient. You have to train them gradually, some of them are completely new to basketball." Kasamatsu firmly, but gently, warned him. "Discipline is a good thing, but you need to give them a break from time to time so they wouldn't snap under the pressure. You also need to take account to their physical limitations. Do you understand?"

Akira merely nodded, listening to his long explanation about how to train up the new freshmen in a more patient manner.

Akira was staying over tonight, dismissing Fuyuki's wishes to have a sleepover because he had to compensate with morning practice tomorrow. Their mom had an early rise for work tomorrow, as well. They went home at nine. She promised him she would have half the day off tomorrow to pick him up after the hospital discharge. He only smiled and nodded. She had looked at him with a sort of strange, wary look, like she did before, when she was in denial with his situation. But she didn't mention anything about it, as she bade him goodbye.

To be honest, Kasamatsu was getting tired of people around him walking on eggshells, treating him like he would break like glass if they didn't.

"Aki." The middle child of the Kasamatsu looked up from his undivided attention he was applying to set up the sofa, to become a makeshift bed for the night. "Aren't you going to say anything?" He carefully asked. So far, the only one who hadn't reacted with extreme negativity had been his eldest younger sibling, as he'd appeared as nothing but confused before, rather than upset.

Akira tilted his head. "Aniki, what do you want me to say?" He asked back. "That I'm supposed to be angry at you? For what? For wanting to have a baby with your mate? Or for not telling us about it?"

He swallowed thickly. "I don't know, to be honest. Both? You … you haven't said anything. I'm curious."

Akira set aside his duffel bag, placing it against the wall by the bathroom door.

"I don't know what to say either." He said.

"Aniki, you have a bad habit of keeping stuff to yourself, but I can see that you're upset about it way more than we do. Fuyu's overreacting, while mom and dad are both mad, or at least dad is. And me? I'd say, while I'm okay that you're dating that guy, if it turns out that he's hurting you or, like Fuyu said,  _forces_  you into it … well, I don't give a fuck that he's a Heavy Seed."

His grey blue eyes glinted red for a second or two, before they slid back into the colour of steel. "Aniki. Don't mind what Fuyu said. You know how he is, he's just worried about you. And me, too. Don't think too much. Focus on recovering. We all want you to come home soon."

Kasamatsu sighed. "Yeah. I know."

It just seemed like everyone was worried about him, or fussed over him. It was grating on his nerves. He felt like he was a vulnerable, useless being who couldn't protect himself. Kasamatsu hated feeling like this, like everything had slipped off of his fingers — he was rapidly losing control. Everything fell into chaos. It had taken every ounce of what was left of his composure not to have a panic attack or a mental breakdown right there and then, but he didn't know how long he could keep it up.

They went to bed around an hour later. Akira turned off the lights, he left the bathroom lamp on with the door opened before heading to the sofa to sleep on it. He told his older brother goodnight, turning on his back and falling asleep rather quickly, probably due to the physical exertion from the practice. In the other hand, Kasamatsu couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, tucked the blanket to his neck, but still he wasn't feeling sleepy.

Secretly, he sneaked a hand below the pillow and withdrew a cellphone from beneath it, staring at the black screen for a few moments. He turned on the phone, then watched as the screen glowed and the device vibrated in his hold. It sang with a soft melody, volume turned to the lowest.

After a minute, the phone vibrated continuously for quite some time. Unread message and missed call reports began popping into the screen, numbering to twenty nine and thirty six, respectively. Five of the messages and six missed calls were from Kobori and Moriyama, while the rest came from Kise.

Kasamatsu scrolled down and read the messages one by one, but never replied to any of it.

—

TBC.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: To clear up some confusion, I have Kobori and Moriyama calling Kasamatsu by his first name (or nickname), because the presence of his family members would make it awkward for them to call him by his surname (cos his brothers are also Kasamatsu). So, when those three talk in private, they call each other familiarly, but will slip into formal surnames when other people are present. I think it's pretty fitting given they've been friends for 3 years, already. :->


	3. the Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: On with the second chapter! The story will be mainly on Kise’s PoV (as he’s the title character - sort of), occasionally on Kasamatsu’s PoV, but Kise takes the helm. We’ll watch things unfold from him, since he needs some serious ass-whooping. Also sorry for tardy update! Recently I had some mild throat infection and I gotta work for a bit. (=_=;)
> 
> P.S.: I’ll be adding to the facts into this universe since Sex Pistols manga has finally gotten some new updates. Some of which are the more supernatural aspects of their abilities. I’m going to include the new ones to the story when the plot calls out for it. :O

—

**Weremanity Glossary**

_Shapeshifting_ : A Wereperson with higher supernatural abilities is able to take the form of another animal for the purpose of deception and protection. It is an ability possessed by most Heavy Seeds species, as their true forms are often large and out of place. Controlling this ability is part of the basic education, in case there would be a need for such deception. For example, to prevent panic among the Primates or protect themselves from criminal attempt. It’s much easier for them to choose a form similar to their original instead of taking an entirely new form, although it’s not impossible. This unnatural form requires great control over their ethereal body, as it is harder to maintain for longer periods of time and the form may render them more vulnerable. Certain species of the werepeople are known to have an exceptional level of supernatural ability, such as the mermaids/mermen.

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 2 : The Wolf

—

 _“Go home.”_ He told Kise. “ _Go home and hide yourself from the reporters. I’ll be fine. Fuyuki and Akira will be around.”_

The lies kept piling up, higher and higher — a mountain made of false words and half-truths. His eyes — they looked greyer than blue, a duller colour than usual. They glimmered faintly with resignation and defeat. They barely looked at him, hardly lifted from its odd fixation on the ground. A nervous tick. Kasamatsu could never look at him in the eyes, when he lied. Kise was sure he didn’t realise it, but Kise did. Because there were so few things he didn’t know about Kasamatsu.

But one of them had been Kasamatsu’s true feelings. For all he knew, they were like an ocean of dark waters, he could swim within it. But he wouldn’t be able to see what was in front of him.

 _“I don’t want to leave you._ ” He’d said, almost pleading. 

He knew he’d made Kasamatsu’s family furious, the hateful glare the youngest Kasamatsu gave him and the confusion of the middle child. His father and mother’s uncertainty, the anger and the disappointment. He could see it clearly. But still, he wanted to stay. He was neither the most sensitive nor the most caring, but he cared for Kasamatsu. He loved him. His instincts flared with alarm, his mate was so vulnerable, so weak and exhausted, physically and mentally. He wanted to stay, protect him. It was his duty. His right.

But Kasamatsu merely shook his head. “ _Go home, Kise. Please. I — this is not a good time for this. You need to understand that.”_

He’d looked around and caught his younger brothers’ gaze at the far end of the corridor. Kise saw his lips tightened into a thin line. _“Please.”_ He’d repeated. His voice slipped into a low tremble. 

Kise had chewed the insides of his mouth so hard, he could smell the iron scent of the blood, as it seeped down his throat. He had no choice but to agree. Kasamatsu would have been in worse distress if he’d insisted. He hadn’t seen him for days after that.

He’d sent another text, waited for an hour, and another. Another day, and then another. No reply. There hadn’t been one after the umpteenth message. Kise sat on his bed, face buried in hands. His cellphone was laid on the bed next to him. He waited and waited, until he felt like he was going mad, for a reply, or just a sliver of Kasamatsu’s voice. He’d take anything. And still, nothing.

The Wolf inside of him was agitated. Enraged. 

They were separated from their mate for too long, especially when Kasamatsu was in such a vulnerable state. It was nearly unbearable. He wanted to go out there — find him, stay with him. Kise felt he would go mad if he didn’t. He instinctively felt that his beastly side would break itself out of the cage of their joint psyche, take control of his body and run to where Kasamatsu was. He’d have little care of anything else. He would carve a bloody path if it was needed. The Wolf had never roused such vivid chaos before.

He could hear the angry roars at day, and the lonely howls at night, resounding within his head with a violent echo. He heard it even as he slept. A wolf torn from its mate.

He was at his wits end. Kise couldn’t take it anymore.

Was it wrong to love someone so much, you wanted to own their whole being?

Selfish. Kuroko had told him. He was so selfish. Self-centred. What he did to Kasamatsu was monstrous. Irreparable. He’d caused pain and suffering to the one he loved, to the one he’d wanted to make happy. When he’d witnessed the reactions from Kasamatsu’s family, he’d started to understand the gravity of what he’d done to his lover. He hadn’t taken it to consideration. He hadn’t taken _a lot_ of things into consideration. How stupid he was.

It was all on him. _He_ caused this.

“Senpai … Yukio-san.” Kise murmured, the skin of his forehead had grown heated, the pads of his fingers were hot. He glanced at the phone from beneath the screen of the shadow. It remained silent. Kise brought a hand to take the phone. He looked at it absently. He noticed the messages and missed calls he’d ignored, because they weren’t from Kasamatsu. 

Slowly, a thumb moved to dial the same numbers. He placed the cellphone to his ear.

“Yukio-san.” He whispered, running a hand up his hair and clutching. The dial tone he’d heard for a thousand times over, it sounded like torture, long and winded. Merciless. It felt like an eternity. “Please, answer me.”

He just wanted to hear his voice, Kise silently pleaded. Just for a few seconds, it would be enough. He’d go insane. He hadn’t been able to sleep properly for days. He couldn’t get Kasamatsu out of his head. Kise kept wondering whether he was alright, if he was feeling better, and if the press had gotten an inkling of his condition. It was maddening. 

‘ _You’re useless.’_ The beast said with an angry snarl, the brusque noise echoed inside of his skull. ‘ ** _I_** _will protect our mate._ ** _You_** _cannot protect him.’_

“Shut up!!” Kise shouted at the top of his lungs, until his throat burned from the dryness and the force of his voice. His throat was parched, as it hadn’t been touched by water for hours. His body was heating up — the inner turmoils and the self-abandonment made it worse. Kise felt his head was about to explode.

“… I’ll show you …” He whispered, the hands that concealed his face were slowly dragged down. 

He knew how his face must’ve looked, faltering in between beastly and humanoid features. His fingers slid down an elongated snout, touching the sharp end of his jagged fangs. He couldn’t contain his emotions. It was one of his worst traits, he’d think with emotions first, logic fell third or fourth. He could’ve cared less. Such as right then, he was throwing away the logic entirely. The emotional side had taken over. 

He was going to see Kasamatsu, he could’ve cared less what would happen. Even if Kasamatsu didn’t want to see him, he would still go. The thirst he had, it wasn’t physical. His very soul thirsted for his mate. The Wolf. The true form of his crooked soul. It demanded for Kasamatsu.

But Kasamatsu wasn’t _his_ , Kasamatsu was Kise’s. Even the Wolf couldn’t have him.

If he couldn’t go because of the press, he could take another lesser form, one that could pass through a crowd without rousing a suspicion.

Kise stood up, taking a hold of the hem of his sweater and pulling it off of him with one quick sweep. He unbuckled his jeans as well, letting it fall around his ankles. He kicked the jeans to a corner. Kise breathed in, furrowed his eyebrows and concentrated, remembering the days his father would teach him how to hide his true form; how to manipulate the shape of their soul to shape-shift into a form that wasn’t a wolf. It was for protection, he used to tell him. A vulnerable child from a rare species must never let their true identity slip.

He had struggled with it. Kise needed to observe carefully what his father did. The physical transformation, from a Great Wolf, he morphed into the form of a common dog right before his eyes. It had been hard at first, but once Kise had done his first form — a husky pup on his eight attempt — he eventually learnt the knack for it. 

He was always good with mimicking the forms, the behaviours, the swagger of a certain species and the way they held themselves. Although he couldn’t maintain the form for more than an hour, it required too much energy and concentration. He hadn’t practiced it for a long time, since he’d become strong enough to defend himself with the wereform, it could take an even lesser time to keep up the form. But with his current stamina, he might be able to stretch the deadline longer.

If he picked a form of a common mongrel, nobody would notice him.

A german shepard mix, he thought. 

Kise inhaled deeply, printing the form he wanted to become, inside of his head. First, he let the transformation bring him into the form of a wolf. He could hear the tendons and bones rearranging themselves, shifting with noises that were none too quiet. His limbs shrunk, arms slimmed and hind legs shortened, the palms and feet diminished into two pairs of paws. In turn, his torso elongated — his ribcage expanded, waist thinned and his skull grew a solid set of jaws, to accommodate the set of large fangs. 

He saw his own form in the wardrobe mirror — a large 6-foot wolf covered in grey and yellowish brown fur. Kise looked at himself and saw the traces of his ancestry, a mix of Japanese Wolf and Grey Wolf breeds. He was no purebred. 

A purebred wouldn’t have much chances to survive with the many layers of genetic disadvantages in their blood, so the government made a match made in heaven — they brought in a new blood from abroad, every once in a while. They introduced the new addition into the lineage of the surviving Japanese Wolf species, as a last resort to save the dying breed.

It was still a fifty-fifty chance. His parents were lucky to have been able to give birth to three wolves. Other matches didn’t work quite well.

His official breed was what the society wanted to believe it was. Nobody really remembered the Japanese Wolves’ original appearance, or maybe they were in denial. They wanted to believe that the Japanese wolves survived. Kise snorted. The snobs who thought they could save the vulnerable, dying species, expecting them to return the favour later. Kise wanted nothing to do with them.

He shook his head, to redirect his focus back into the shape-shift. This was when it got tricky, because it wasn’t only his physical body that would transform. It was his ethereal aura that would help the illusion wrapped itself around him, to make a convincing image. 

He’d change the colour of his fur, tinted in black and brown — and the distinct shape of a german shepherd’s ears, among other things. Unlike the wereform where it was pure physical prowess, this form required the usage of the inner force of the soul. It was leagues more exhaustive, normally the result wasn’t even worth the effort.

He’d reckon only wizards could truly utilise the shapeshifting ability, like the fabled mermaids, but he wasn’t one. A wolf was a beast of physical prowess, not of sorcery.

It took some time, Kise finally managed to shapeshift into a correct image. A German Shepard. He had to make his body smaller, which was hard to achieve. He ended up with a form that was slightly bigger than the usual size. He lacked practice.

Kise looked at his reflection in the mirror, he turned his head right and left, then he circled around. It seemed fairly stable. This would do.

He walked towards the door, reached the door handle with his paws while he stood on his hind legs, to open it. It wasn’t much of a task to open unlocked doors in this form. He left the front door unlocked, but closed, as he left his flat, opting the fire escape to prevent anyone from noticing a large dog loitering about in the building, without an identification collar. He had to be careful.

Kise avoided large streets at first. He went through the emptier part of the neighbourhood and then several small alleys covered in the stench of trash. The hospital was fifteen minutes of cab ride from his place, it would be around twenty to thirty minutes by foot. He had to reveal himself after a while, when he needed to cross the roads. 

Kise waited by the pedestrian walk until the traffic lamp turned green, meanwhile people around him pointed at him and whispered that Kise must be a trained dog, to have behaved so calmly. He snorted inwardly but didn’t pay them heed. He simply walked away from the curious onlookers, who’d taken pictures of him without permission. 

When he arrived a while later, he saw the front gates were fairly empty. Maybe what they said was true, that the paparazzi were occupied with the details of the investigation.

He walked past the front gate easily enough, the security was busy watching an afternoon soap. The post reeked of the fragrance of sweets. 

The real challenge would be how he’d get inside without being noticed. Kise couldn’t return back to human form without clothes on or walk in as a stray dog, he’d be thrown out either way. He stopped on his track, hesitating. He stared at the entrance beyond the parking lot, he wondered if there was a back door for the place.

That was when he spotted Nigou in the parking lot. He was lying on a patch of green grass under the shade of a tree. Kise immediately knew Kuroko was in the hospital.

“Nigou!” He barked out loud with the language of canines, breaking into a half-run across the parking lot. Nigou’s head jolted up, looking around in confusion. Kise noticed there was an elderly gentleman sitting nearby, petting Nigou’s spine gently.

“Oh? Is this your friend? Hello, big fella.” The middle-aged gentleman said, when he got close. The shade of the tree provided a relief from the glaring sunlight.

Nigou cocked his head and looked at Kise, the two white dots on his forehead drawn together. He barked twice. Kise’s mind translated the words easily, in the form of a dog. “Who are you?” He’d asked, warily.

“Don’t you recognise me? I’m your master’s friend.” 

Kise approached him, sniffing the husky’s torso and hind legs to offer a greeting. Thankfully, Nigou didn’t react too badly. He sniffed at Kise, in the same manner.

The husky pup stood up, wagging his tail and barking excitedly. “Kise! It’s Kise! Tetsuya said you’re annoying!” He exclaimed. “Tetsuya’s inside that big house! With Taiga!” Nigou pointed out his snout at the hospital.

Kise inwardly cringed. Kuroko, always the loveable bundle of snarks. “I know. How long have he been there?” He asked.

Nigou tilted his head. “Dunno. Tetsuya’s inside for long time! I’m lonely.” He whimpered, ears drooping.

So there was a good chance he wasn’t going to leave any time soon if he was visiting Kagami, Kise guessed. The fact that Nigou was left here meant no pets were allowed in the hospital. Just his luck. Maybe he should wait with Nigou until Kuroko came out, but that wouldn’t be wise. Kise wasn’t sure if he could keep up the transformation for that long. And Kuroko might not be out for a while.

“I need to find a way to get in.” He decided. “Thanks for the help, Nigou.”

Nigou perked up, barking happily. “Your welcome!”

Kise walked around the building, but could hardly find an unlocked door at the back. There were people around, too. He’d draw suspicion if he did anything extraordinary. At least nobody tried to chase him away, because he didn’t act like a stray dog. Still, he stuck to being fairly obscure.

He checked but there didn’t seem to be a chance for him to sneak in, Kise was getting irritated. This plan might not be the best one he came up with, for having decided on it in a split second. He could hear the Wolf grew impatient, snarling at him viciously. ‘ _Useless_.’ 

‘ _Don’t talk like you’re doing the work._ ’ Kise snapped back. For an Alpha Wolf, the beast could be such a _bitch_.

 He was contemplating the option of returning back to being human, as he was walking towards the front of the building, but stopped that line of thought when he saw Kasamatsu’s mother entering the hospital. He took a double-take at her. And he wasn’t wrong. It really was Kasamatsu’s mother. He could still remember her scent. She vanished quickly into the building, before he could come close enough.

Clenching his jaw, Kise decided to wait for her for as long as he could afford it. He went back to Nigou’s spot, sitting next to the husky and letting the old man pet him too. His eyes were fixated at the front gates, waiting for any sign of her.

—

Some twenty minutes later, Kise shot up immediately when he saw Kasamatsu walk out of the front gates, accompanied by his mother. 

Kise wanted to dash off to Kasamatsu’s side at once, but he halted the urge when he saw the state of Kasamatsu was in. In the form of an animal, his sense of smell was elevated effortlessly. He could clearly smell the distress from his mate, his eyes caught the dark shadows under Kasamatsu’s eyes and the traces of exhaustion that were apparent on his face. He saw how skinny he looked; his wrists were bony, like twigs. He’d visibly lost weight.

Something inside of him grew ashen, rising up to his head and blurring his rationality behind a thick screen of grey fog. From within his psyche, a deep growl resounded throughout his whole being. The vibration shook him. 

When he snapped out of his daze, Kasamatsu and his mother had gone into a blue cab. The engine blasted a foul stench of fumes, before taking off. Kise didn’t waste time, he got up and ran, tailing the cab from behind. He ignored Nigou’s barks, his mind zeroed in on the vehicle.

He couldn’t be on the streets. Kise rushed along the pavements on full speed, he manoeuvred a clear path by zigzagging. He avoided unwanted collision with the pedestrians, some of which was close calls. Kise fully utilised his basketball skills to do this, eyes fixated on the speeding vehicle. When it stopped for traffic, he’d wait patiently by the sidewalk, away from the centre of the pavement, until it was time to move again.

He tracked the cab on full speed, for around half an hour.

Eventually, the cab left the highway, taking a turn towards a housing area. The cab slowed down, making it easier for Kise to follow it closely. They passed by a local train station, going deeper into the neighbourhood. Kise had never been to Kasamatsu’s house, he mused as he tailed the cab. 

He’d started living on his own in an apartment when he got steady pay checks from the modelling gigs, half of the rent was paid by his agency. He had to live somewhere in between Tokyo and Kanagawa to be able to commute for the job. It allowed him to bring Kasamatsu home to stay over on weekends. A convenient arrangement. His parents stayed out of his business, which was a plus on its own.

When the cab stopped and the passengers alighted, Kise kept his distance to watch. Kasamatsu’s mother carried the luggage and paid for the fare, while Kasamatsu went inside first. Soon, both of them disappeared into the house, and the cab left the scene.

Kise didn’t try to enter the house.

Instead, he turned around and left.

—

He held the transformation for a total of two hours. Maybe even longer than that.

As soon as Kise was back home, he turned back into human form and collapsed on top of his bed. He ran out of energy, as expected. He knew he’d pushed too far, for something he was entirely unused to. An unnatural form that required a steady stream of stamina and energy. And then to top it off, He hadn’t been paying much attention to his wellbeing. He had to leave or else he'd transform back into a human, naked in the middle of the street.

But he got to see Kasamatsu. He knew he was safe, now he was back home with his family. It was worth the trouble.

“ … he looked thin.” 

Kasamatsu was skinnier than he remembered. Had he been eating? Had he been sleeping properly? Kise wanted to know. He wanted to go back and see Kasamatsu, talk to him, anything. He wanted to kiss him, tell him it would be okay, hold him in his arms and stay with him. He’d never leave his side. He didn’t care if their families didn’t approve, he wanted to be with Kasamatsu.

Kise gritted his teeth.

Why had it become so difficult? 

They were in love. He knew it was true. He knew Kasamatsu loved him, even though he never told Kise and even if he’d wanted to break up. Why? What did he do wrong? Why would Kasamatsu want to leave him when they loved each other? He couldn’t fathom such a horrid idea. They were happy and in love at one second, and the next, Kasamatsu wanted to break up. It was unthinkable, he’d never once thought of wanting to separate from Kasamatsu.

Before he knew it, Kise had torn a hole on the bedsheets. His nails had turned into claws, ripping the fabric in his hold.

“He’s mine.” His voice came out with a growl, possessive with a tinge of anger. He pushed himself up, his mind burned with a singular instinct that carved itself onto his skull. “He’s going to have my child. He’s mine.” 

There was nothing in world that could stop him from keeping Kasamatsu with him. For once, the Wolf gave him a bark of approval.

He wasn’t a trained basketball player for nothing. The transformation might have taken half of his stamina, but he still had the other half. He wasn’t going to stand around doing nothing. He was going to see Kasamatsu in person, as soon as possible. Kise got off his bed to fetch some clothes and dress up. He could ride the cab to go to Kasamatsu’s house. The mother would be there, he felt that he should prepare himself.

Kise chose something that was stylish and respectable, a pair of solid black jeans and a white shirt under a black cardigan. He didn’t have formal clothes in the flat. But that was to be expected, given he was only seventeen. He had no real need for formal wear.

 _Seventeen_. Kise stilled. He was seventeen this year, and Kasamatsu would turn nineteen soon. They were both still teenagers. Kasamatsu's family clearly wasn't happy with him. Suddenly, a flash of realisation dawned on him that his own family wouldn't take the news easily either.

Kise inhaled sharply.

No, he shouldn’t think of that. Not now. He could deal with that later. Kise stiffly slammed the wardrobe door close, feeling a little cold all of a sudden. He rubbed his arm, breathing in deeply.

Kise put his phone and wallet into a small leather saddlebag. He flung it over his shoulder, left the apartment and then locked the door behind him.

He’d called the cab five minutes before. The cab was waiting for him outside of the building.

Kise sent a text to inform Kasamatsu of his visit but he didn't know if the older boy would even check his phone. He frowned at the lack of reply from his lover.

As he rode the cab, he stared at the blurring view beyond the window, wondering whether he was too late. Whether Kasamatsu had started thinking of breaking up again. If that was the reason for his lack of response. 

 _No. I won’t let him go._ He mused stubbornly, chewing the tip of his thumb. He had to talk to Kasamatsu.

He arrived at Kasamatsu’s doorsteps a while later, standing nervously before the entrance. He pushed the doorbell and waited.

As he’d expected, Kasamatsu’s mom answered the door.

The moment she saw him, her expression grew stiff for a few seconds. So did Kise. His heart was beating loudly. Drops of sweat emerging on the skin of his back. Swallowing deeply, he forced a smile and greeted her.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Kasamatsu. I’m here to visit Yukio-san. Is he home?” Kise tried to sound normal. Steady. He managed to put on a convincing act.

She looked as if she snapped out of a daze. “Oh.” She uttered, looking embarrassed for her lack of response. She gave him a polite, yet shaky, smile. 

“Of course. Please come in. Kise-kun, is it? Yes, Yukio has just come home from the hospital today. What a coincidence.” She looked like she wanted to ask how Kise knew that specific information, but seemed to have refrained from doing so.

Kise politely came inside of the house, the lady led him to the living room, where she offered him a seat on the sofa while she called for Kasamatsu. He sat down. He fiddled with his thumbs anxiously, as he waited for Kasamatsu. It looked like there were only the two of them in the house, mother and son. He couldn’t hear the presence of anyone else. Certainly not his father or two younger brothers. He wasn’t sure if they would be as friendly.

“Kise…”

He immediately jolted up at the mention of his name, with the familiar voice, snapping his head around. “Senpai.” He breathed out, when he saw Kasamatsu emerged from the corridors leading to the stairway. His mother stood behind him, looking nervous.

“I’ll bring you drinks. Would you like some tea, Kise-kun?” She offered.

“Oh — oh yes, thank you.” He replied, eyes never leaving Kasamatsu.

Kasamatsu hesitated. He seemed awfully worried, his eyes darted from Kise to his mother. “Mom, can you bring it upstairs? I prefer talking with Kise alone.” He remarked.

She looked at her son, then at Kise. She gave him an understanding nod. “Of course, darling. I’ll take the drinks to your room.”

After she left for the kitchen, Kasamatsu turned on his back, glancing at Kise from over his shoulder. “Kise, let’s go upstairs. It’s more private there.” He said, in a low voice. Kise raised an eyebrow, he noticed how hoarse Kasamatsu’s voice had sounded, like he caught a cold.

Kise didn’t mention it, when he agreed to follow his senior.

As soon as they were alone and the door was closed — Kise stepped into Kasamatsu’s personal space and embraced him from behind. He snuggled against him tightly, inhaling the scent of his mate, noting the slight changes. His scent had started changing ever since the pregnancy became more apparent. It was pleasant.

“I missed you.” He whispered, burying his nose in the crook of his neck, bringing his lips near the ear. “Why didn’t you reply my texts and calls? It’s driving me nuts.”

He could feel Kasamatsu relaxed in his arms, like usual. Kise had always been able to relieve the tension in Kasamatsu, he was the only one with the capability. Loosened him up, relaxed him and made him happy. This was meant to be, he thought. It felt like fate, like they were pieces of the same puzzle. When they were together, it became a complete image. A perfect painting.

Kasamatsu was silent, he stood still for a while, before turning around to face Kise. There was no joy in his expression. His lips were drawn into a tight line, the eyes that looked up at him seemed dull. Resigned. Kise disliked such a look on him, it didn’t suit Kasamatsu. His eyes should burn with vibrance, full of life — his strong, authoritative voice should be shouting orders and demands, like the natural born leader he was.

“We… we need to talk.” Kasamatsu uttered. His gaze drifted off slightly. “It’s a good timing you’re here. I don’t think it’s something we can talk on the phone.”

Kise didn’t object when Kasamatsu caught a hold on his arms and led him to sit on the bed. Kasamatsu dragged a wheeled chair from his desk, then proceeded to sit in front of him. He waited. Kasamatsu drew a few deep breathes before he started, this time he looked at Kise in the eyes, determination hinted in his gaze.

“Kise, I’m going to keep the baby.” He started. “But … I’ve been thinking. You are going to continue highschool, you need to continue your education, graduate, go to a good university and … build a life of your own. You’re still young. I don’t want to be the reason why these opportunities are taken away from you. I’m happy enough if you want to be in the child’s life, but… it’s not necessary for you to be with me.” The corners of his lips twitched upwards, forming a forced smile.

The words were registered into his brain, and suddenly, a lump was lodged in his throat.

“What?” He’d blurted out, in disbelief. “What do you mean by — no! I’m not breaking up with you! Never!” He leaned forward, mind flaring with aggression at the mere suggestion. 

Kasamatsu visibly swallowed. He looked away. “You need to understand.” His voice quivered, now. “We’re still kids. How are we going to raise a baby when we’re still kids, ourselves? My family … you know how they reacted to all of this. And if we tell _your_ family…” He paused. 

“I don’t think they’d be pleased. With me.”

He saw the fear, the trembles of Kasamatsu’s shoulders, the way he looked down at his lap, fists balled — the way his voice sounded weak and anxious, terribly pained — Kise could feel the sorrow. He felt his cheeks grew heated, his eyes felt even more so — he got off the bed, knees fallen onto the carpeted floor. He looked at Kasamatsu, seeing his true expression from beneath the shadow that concealed his face. Kise brought a hand to hold the balled fists, they grew stiff at the touch.

“I love you.” Kise whispered, staring at those greyish blue eyes. “I love you so much. I love you, I love you, _I love you_. When will you finally believe me?”

He saw the pupils blown, eyebrows drawn tightly together. His lips shook. “I don’t know.” He said, in a soft voice.

Kise bit his lips, reaching up to touch the dark shades beneath his eyes. He noticed the red rims that ran along the almond-shaped frames, and the pink veins in the white of his eyes. The slight puff of the eyelids. “You’ve been crying.” He uttered. “Why? Why do you always feel like you have to cry when you’re alone? Am I really that unreliable? Am I not trustworthy?” 

Kasamatsu said nothing, instead he tried to avert his gaze.

The clench in his chest was excruciating. Kasamatsu didn’t trust him. It hurt to know that, it was even more painful that his own lover would rather suffer by himself instead of sharing the burden. He felt useless. “I’m a just a kid, ignorant and selfish and arrogant. Is that how you see me? Do you hate me now?” Kasamatsu’s features twisted further, he shook his head.

“I don’t hate you.” He told him. “Kise, you know how I feel about you. But … I don’t think it’s enough reason to stay together.”

He felt the anger rushed up to the top of his head. “I don’t get it. We love each other, but you want to leave me. Why!? Tell me because I can’t understand why!” The searing heat peaked, Kise tightened his hold on Kasamatsu’s fists, his fingernails unconsciously dug into the skin.

Kasamatsu was oddly calm, in the face of his tantrum. He looked at him like an older sibling would, to a younger one. “ … Kise.” He whispered, shaking off his hold to cup his face. He brushed a thumb along his jawline. “I love you, but I can’t trust you.”

Kise's head went blank. The words sank in his mind, like poison seeping into his veins.

“ … no.” He uttered, staring up at Kasamatsu. He shook his head. “Don’t leave me. No.” 

Kasamatsu put his hand on top of his head, stroking his hair gently. Kise used to love the affectionate gesture, but now it just felt hateful. “I’m not going to leave you, you’re still welcomed to be involved in the child’s life, if you wish to.”

“That’s the same thing!” He yelled, pulling Kasamatsu in his arms and forcing him to stand up.

He held Kasamatsu so tightly in his arms, afraid if he let go, Kasamatsu would just vanish without a trace. “What will happen next? That you’d find someone else? Another man? Will he be my substitute? Will he kiss you, hold you, look at you the way I did!? Will he be _my_ child’s father!? I don’t want that!!” He rasped out loud, eyes burned with the heat of his temper. “I can’t stand it! I don’t want anyone else to have you or our child! You’re mine!!”

He gasped against Kasamatsu’s shoulder, running out of breath. He didn’t loosen the hold on his lover. He was scared he’d leave the moment Kise let go. “… please. Don’t leave me.” 

He could feel a droplet of tear trickling down his cheek. Soon, he’d drenched the fabric of the shirt. “Stay with me. I love you. Please. I know I’ve screwed up. I know I caused you pain and I have no right to ask you to forgive me, but please… Give me… give me a chance. I want to become a mate you could be proud of, Yukio-san.” He choked. The scent of his mate comforted him somewhat, although it did nothing to lessen the pain.

He felt a pat on the small of his back. “Kise…”

Kise didn’t want to hear any more reason for them to separate. He couldn’t stand it. “Live with me.” He said, nuzzling Kasamatsu’s neck. “Come live with me.”

Kasamatsu grew rigid in his arms. He felt a pair of hands pushed against his chest, then a set of steel blue eyes stared at him, blinking. “What…?”

But Kise wasn’t fooling around. “Come live with me. I want to be around for you, for our kid. All the way.” He stared back at him, eyes flashing with determination. He clutched at Kasamatsu’s shoulders. “I want to prove to you, how serious I am, about this.”

“Kise, I — I’m not sure if that’s wise.” Kasamatsu uttered, his gaze faltered to uncertainty. Anxiety glimmered in his gaze. 

“My current place is too small, I admit. I’ll get a bigger place, somehow. Will you wait for me?” He would take more modelling jobs. Maybe he could borrow some money from his parents, although he wasn’t sure if the plan would work. He usually used his paychecks on frivolous spending, but he still had quite a sum left in his account with the leftover allowance. Kise could use it as down payment, or to buy baby stuff. He had to take in the consideration of the doctor’s bills too.

“Will you at least think about it?”

Kasamatsu was clearly uncertain, maybe a little bit scared. He stared at him blankly in a moment of silence. “I … ” He stuttered. Kasamatsu looked down, he was biting his bottom lip. Kise waited with bated breaths, for a positive reply. He was hoping for it to be positive.

It took a while. Kasamatsu looked up again, even though Kise could still clearly see the doubts in his eyes. “I’ll … I’ll think about it.” He finally said. “But I need to … talk with my family, properly.”

Kise tried to contain the sudden burst of happiness rising in his chest. “And I’ll talk with mine. Don’t worry about it.” He pulled Kasamatsu into his arms again. “Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance. I’m so happy.” He breathed out a sigh of relief, even though it was only an initial start, the easier aspect of it. But at least there was a beginning.

He could feel Kasamatsu relax in his arms. “… only one chance.” He whispered, hot breaths touched Kise’s left shoulder.

“I know.”

There was something that he couldn’t tell Kasamatsu, no matter what. Kise never intended to tell him, because Kasamatsu would never forgive him for it. He would never give Kise a chance to redeem himself, if he knew. Kise quietly tightened his hold around his mate. He refused to let go. Never.

The truth would never come to light. That Kise never wanted a child in the first place — that he didn’t feel anything for the baby that was growing inside of Kasamatsu. And that he only used the pregnancy as an excuse to tie Kasamatsu to him.

He’d never tell _anyone_. Kise swore to himself.

—

TBC.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This week, or next week, I’m contemplating to post either the new KiseKasa Serial Killer AU I’ve been itching to write (I mentioned about it in my Circle-TCon tumblr page) or the MidoTaka one-shot detailing what happened back in the hospital, from Takao’s PoV. I dunno, whichever comes first.


	4. Child-Like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yo it's been a while. Let's not dabble too much, I only got 2 weeks of term break before shit hits the fan again. Gonna update everything as often as I could!

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 3 : Child-Like

—

The first issue was money.

"Hormone treatments?" Kise repeated the words. The obstetrician was explaining about the procedures needed to make a same sex pregnancy successful, which would require Kasamatsu to go through some hormonal treatments for the foetal development.

"Yes. Male pregnancy by means of Parasites, as you know, is a procedure developed by our scientists to battle the extinction of our species. However miraculous as it may be, it is still imperfect in many ways." The doctor started, he moved away to turn on a TV monitor in the room, which showed presentation slides regarding how same-sex pregnancy worked.

"When the Parasite is inserted into the rectum, the larvae of the parasite will search for an appropriate location for the creation of the artificial womb. A desired place would be somewhere under the large intestines, where the womb would be for the female, since the  _blueprint_  is based on a similar template for both genders. Male lacks the organ, of course, and the Parasites create one for it." He showed the rectal canal with a laser pointer, the red dot moved upwards.

"However, it has its downsides as an unnatural biological phenomenon. There are cases, in which the Parasites have created the womb at undesirable locations. If the pregnancy is successful, it would lead to forced abortion due to the hazardous effects on the host mother's health. Thankfully, it seems everything is alright with the location of Kasamatsu-san's womb. However, we have another set of problems, after a conception is finalised." He was finally getting to the main topic, turning away from the monitor.

"As males, we do not produce the sufficient amount of hormone levels needed for the development of the baby."

"What… what does that mean?" Kasamatsu asked. Kise could detect the slight tension in his voice.

"It means, if we do not perform regular treatments for Kasamatsu-san, the baby will carry higher chances of deformity, organ failure, or lack of brain development during the pregnancy. The pregnancy itself carries a lot of risks, especially since the birth of the child  _must_  be at a premature age of seven to eight months via Caesarean procedure, in the case of the male pregnancy." The doctor calmly explained, even as Kasamatsu's grip on Kise's hand tightened. His nails dug into the skin.

They had no fund.

That was obvious. Neither of them had graduated from highschool, none made enough to support an independent lifestyle, for two teenagers to have a baby … he couldn't handle this alone. It was impossible. Kise could barely say anything else as the doctor resumed his explanation, each sounded more incomprehensible than the last.

Had he always been this oblivious? Every time he looked at Kasamatsu, the older boy looked more tired, paler. The morning sickness still continued even without him around. He wanted to be around, but Kasamatsu was living with his family… with three of its members, who hated his guts. He couldn't exactly blame them.

Because at this point, Kise himself was beginning to hate himself.

The useless mate, the selfish, egoistical - the Kise Ryouta who made Kasamatsu miserable. Where had he gone, the guy who used to make his beloved happy?

 _Nowhere_ , the Beast answered his question. Like the whispers of a devil.  _You're a useless imbecile_.

When it was all over, he couldn't heave a relieved sigh because the bills that came with the treatments - it was enormous. Kise stared at the receipt the nurse at the counter gave him. 5 digits, and it barely covered a quarter of the entire procedure. Kise realised he only had so much left in his bank account, mainly from his modelling salary. He knew he wasn't the most careful when it came to saving money. In fact, he'd spent quite a bit of it, before all of this started.

It struck him hard. The reality of all this. The truth he hadn't thought would be possible.

He could feel the chills beginning to crawl up his spines, beads of sweat broke out of the pores of his skin and breathing became a bit difficult — Kise bit back the feelings. The odd sensations, unfamiliar, alien - something he hadn't felt for a long, long time. He felt it tingle at the tip of his toes, like the bites of electrocution, searing hot and ice cold, simultaneously.

He was scared. Genuinely, scared.

' _Cold feet,_ ' someone's voice said in his mind, a scene that came from a distant memory. He remembered tan skin and a pair of dry lips covered in patches of cracked skin, moving slowly.

' _Don't get cold feet._ '

"Kise?"

The blonde snapped out of his daze. He turned to look at Kasamatsu, beads of sweat still dribbling down his temples.

"Huh? Oh. What's up?" He tried to smile. He came up with a really dissonant, unconvincing kind. Kasamatsu furrowed his eyebrows, but didn't ask. Instead he was more interested with the small piece of paper in his hand, that he'd crushed unknowingly.

"How much was it? I'll pay half of it." Kasamatsu, ever the proud senior, wouldn't even let the blonde pay the whole fee - it was exactly the same with every date. He'd insist on paying half, because he was mortified by the thought of a junior paying his senior. It was part of his pride he was unwilling to give up.

Kise immediately put the receipt out of reach, stuffing it down his jeans. "It's… it's not much." He lied, finally able to put up a convincing grin. "I can cover for it, don't worry!"

"Don't be silly, I can't let you pay for everything. Give me the receipt." Kasamatsu huffed in response, annoyed. He stretched out a hand for the troublesome piece of crushed paper in the pocket.

Kise swallowed hard.

"Nah. Senpai. Really. Let me take care of it this time, 'kay?" He insisted, taking Kasamatsu's hand and kissing the knuckles. Kasamatsu's cheek reddened - he looked around and saw some nurses giggled at the sight, and turned even redder.

"Stop it, we're in public." He hissed at the blonde.

Kise kept holding the hand in his. He chuckled. "Okay, okay. Let's go home?" He smiled. Their fingers were laced together. "You said you'd stay over at my place tonight."

Kasamatsu was usually too shy or too morally proper for PDA - but recently he was more open to physical contact in public. Kise suspected it was the hormones, and that Kasamatsu might be seeking for reassurances. He didn't try to wriggle his hand from Kise's. It was nice.

"I did…" He whispered, as he walked next to him. Their shoulders bumped. He looked weary, a bit suspicious, but slowly forgetting about the receipt. Maybe he was too tired to argue. "We have to buy something for early dinner… I'm hungry." He said, quietly.

"We'll call delivery?" Kise offered.

Kasamatsu nodded. "Yeah."

They hailed for a cab. Kasamatsu rested his head on Kise's shoulder once they were in, their hands were intertwined. The blonde pressed his cheek against the dark hair, inhaling the scent. It was warm, despite the cold of the air-conditioned space. Quiet, even when there was a storm brewing inside of his mind. Kise took a look at Kasamatsu, who was absent-mindedly staring at the space, eyes fluttering open and close. He turned his head to kiss the side of his head.

"Sleep, Senpai. I'll wake you up when we get there." He whispered.

Kasamatsu grunted a reply, eyes closing. Kise kissed him again.

It was strange. One minute he was scared. He was doubtful and he was getting the cold feet. But now it was peaceful and quiet. He had Kasamatsu in his arms, yet… yet it felt like that wasn't the case. Like Kise could lose him any given moment, through so many ways.

He didn't know which scared him more; the harsh reality of two teenagers having a baby, or losing Kasamatsu altogether? Kise brought an arm around Kasamatsu's shoulder and held him closer.

Had love always been so scary? Had love always been so insecure? Had it always been so selfish, yet selfless at the same time? Happy, but unhappy?

He'd never thought of it before. Kise just wanted Kasamatsu. With all of Kise's obvious flaws, he'd been too spoiled. Maybe this was just as what Kuroko told him; a child throwing a wild tantrum, angry and bitter for not getting what he wanted.

But Kasamatsu wasn't a toy. He told himself. He was a person, not a possession. Kise knew. He got it, he understood it — that he couldn't possess people because things didn't work that way. Still, he'd cling to every chance to be able to keep Kasamatsu for himself. Like a petulant child. He didn't think he would become this kind of person.

Even though it had led to this pathway of destruction.

"… I love you." Kise whispered to Kasamatsu. He closed his eyes and held him close, face buried in the crook of Kasamatsu's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

But he wasn't going to give up. Not yet. The lowest he could go, he'd done it. To go farther than this? Never. He must never go lower.

When they arrived at Kise's apartment - as accommodating it was for two people at most, he realised it wouldn't be enough for two adults and one kid. That much was obvious. It was a studio apartment, everything within a single space, safe for the bathroom. Wall partitions were used to divide each section, a small kitchen, a space for the living room that also doubled as dining room, his bed and wardrobe were behind a wall partition at the very back of the apartment - while the enclosed bathroom was across of the 'bedroom'.

In short, it was more similar to a bachelor's pad than a functioning family design.

"Senpai, rest up a bit. I'll call the restaurant." He led Kasamatsu further into the apartment, and sat him on the bed.

Kasamatsu looked tired, just from the short visit to the doctor. The news must've taken a toll on him, too. Kise forced a smile on his face. The least he could do was try to make it seem like nothing could get worse than it already was. Kasamatsu didn't need the extra stress.

"Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience." The older man sighed. He rubbed his temples. "I just need to close my eyes for a bit."

"Take your time." Kise leaned down to kiss his forehead. He pushed Kasamatsu to lie down, helped him take off his jacket and then tucked him into the bed.

"Wake me up in an hour."

"I will."

When Kasamatsu was asleep, he got off the bed. Kise walked into the living room space and took out the receipt. He smoothed out the paper, read the numbers again and swallowed. No it still hadn't changed. He didn't misread. 5 digits yen for a few shots of hormone treatment. Kasamatsu would need the treatment every two weeks or so, just to keep the child. And if he had to add in the other expenses like checkups and baby essentials…

The blonde paused, to breathe in, deeply.

This was definitely not the time to panic, he thought. He panicked a lot before and what he got was a punch on the face and Kuroko being mad at him. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought it was … Kise stuffed the receipt back into the jeans pocket, then walked back to the bedroom area. He opened up the drawers near the bed, to get his bank account book. He really hoped there was a bit of money left in the account that could at least cover for the treatment expenses.

Except it didn't.

He could feel his blood freeze up a little. What he saw could only cover a few treatments, and that if he didn't include the monthly rent and daily expenses. He'd have to give up spending money on clothes or Karaoke or pretty much anything else. His parents still sent him allowances, but even that could barely cover the inevitable. He was still a student. A teenager. He only earned so much from the occasional modelling gigs. It didn't take a genius to predict the outcome of this.

Kise's heart raced. Suddenly, he felt cold.

His head started spinning. He needed to sit. Kise went back to the living room area to sit on the couch. His face was buried in his hands. What should he do now? Kise tried to think of a way to solve this problem. Finances-wise, they wouldn't last. They wouldn't even get through the first three months.

 _Abort it_. Some voices in his head whispered to him.  _You never wanted the kid anyway._

"But he wants it." Kise whispered softly. "He wants the baby."

He'd have to give up a lot if he went through this. His life would be turned upside down. Every penny he had and would have, would go to this… mess that he created himself. Everything would be invested in this child that Kise didn't even want. But he had no excuse for it, and he couldn't backtrack now.

The ice reached everywhere, winding all the way down, touching the tips of his toes.

' _Don't get cold feet._ ' The familiar, unknown voice told him. The pair of lips - dry and pale - stretched into a smirk.

The Beast growled in the back of his mind, to add salt on the injury. _You're such a coward_.

Kise didn't deny it.

He withdrew a bit, to stare at the palms of his hands. He … needed to think of something. Kise couldn't come up with anything yet, but he would. This wasn't just about himself anymore. He stood up from the seat, his legs brought him back to the bedroom.

Kise sat on the bed, next to the sleeping Kasamatsu, eyes locked onto his mate's form. His mate. He thought, he never truly understood the meaning of a mate. What he was taught was that they existed for the sole purpose of procreation and entertainment for the stronger species.

He was beginning to understand. Little by little.

Kise silently sent a text to the restaurant, with the usual order - no fish or anchovies, he made that clear - and a specific time of the delivery, most of which was Kasamatsu's favourites. He put away the phone, then laid next to Kasamatsu. He looked at his beloved's face. A thumb traced idle lines along his jaw, up his cheek, then slowly, brushed over the darkened skin beneath the closed eye. From tips of his fingers down to his arms, shoulders, chest — the warmth of Kasamatsu's skin thawed the ice that froze his nerves.

He gritted his teeth.

Kise scooted closer, one arm looped around Kasamatsu's shoulder. He inhaled the scent of his hair, deeply, and felt himself warm again.

Even with this path of destruction, he would fight. For their survival.

—

"You're going back to school tomorrow, right?"

Kise switched his attention from the food he was eating. "Huh? I guess so…"

School. He almost forgot. He still had to go to school since they merely allowed Kise a week of recovery after the incident. Kise had been laying low for the sake of avoiding the reporters — which he had been mostly indoors — thankfully they'd presently moved on to the investigation of the case instead because they couldn't find Kuroko either.

He had suspicions it the work of the people assigned by Akashi. The last time he heard, Akashi had gone back to Kyoto a while ago. The case was still shown all over the news, Aomine's uncle's photos plastered everywhere, his public image tarnished. So far only Kuroko and Kise's names were exposed. The others' identities were purposely obscured, for their protection.

"You're going to be a Second Year soon." Kasamatsu said as he ate. "Don't forget to study hard. Don't slack off on practice."

"It's still in a few months. The exam's gonna be a pain though." Kise scratched his head.

School was such a pain in the ass. Not when Kise needed to figure out how he could get money for the pregnancy, too. Maybe he could skip a few classes or practice sessions for modelling… that way he could earn more money. He needed them fast.

"Still, don't slack off. You need to study." Kasamatsu paused, setting down his chopsticks. "I'm graduating soon, so I guess the timing is alright." He rubbed his belly. His expression hardened into a thoughtful one.

"I'm thinking of looking for a part time job."

Kise frowned at that. "What? What for? Why?"

"To pay for the bills. The pregnancy's going to cost a lot, right? The treatments can't be cheap." He resumed eating again. "My parents said they'll help, but … I think it's important not to rely on them too much. They have to pay for my brothers' tuitions, among other things."

"No!" Kise quickly replied. "You can't work in that kind of condition. Let me - "

"Kise." Kasamatsu sternly barked. He looked at him, lips tugged down into a frown. "Don't be unreasonable. You have school and club. Focus on those. I'm sure it's going to be fine."

No, it wouldn't. Kise wanted to say. The pregnancy was fragile. He had to go through an expensive treatment because Kasamatsu's male body couldn't support a pregnancy. Just to keep the child alive. "What if something like before happens? You, kidnapped? Or hurt?" He asked, paranoia began to blossom from within his chest.

"Those kind of accidents are rare. I'm a Light Seed, they wouldn't bother with me. Besides, the child might not be a - " Kasamatsu paused. "Never mind." He looked away, then resumed eating.

"Might not be what?" Kise cocked his head.

Kasamatsu glanced at him, and then at the table. His eyebrows furrowed. The reply came later on, with a soft voice. A sort of resigned, defeated tone - how very unlike Kasamatsu.

"It might not be a wolf." He whispered, softly.

Kise's eyes widened. "What? I don't care if it's not a - "

No. He paused. That was wrong. Kise knew if the child was a wolf, things would be easier. For him, and for Kasamatsu. A wolf child his parents dreamed of, and the society's desire to preserve their species - they would accept a wolf child. They would even recognise Kasamatsu as Kise's official mate, without further question. Not to mention, the financial support would help them greatly. Having a wolf cub was much more profitable for them.

But what if the child wasn't a wolf?

He swallowed. The chances that Kasamatsu could give birth to a wolf cub were slim. He knew how difficult it was for his sister to conceive a cub. They had no hand in choosing the species of their children. They could only match them to certain rare species with the hopes that their genes would win the battle of survival. If the child was a mere dog … everyone in their community would ostracise them, call them a useless mate and a bastard Light Seed child.

This was their reality.

"I know it's important to you. To your family." Kasamatsu said. His gaze was lowered. "If the cub isn't a wolf … I still want them. And you - " He paused to breathe in. "You don't need to be involved in our lives. My family would love them. Aki and Fuyu would love their nephew or niece, either way. They wouldn't mind babysitting." A slight fond smile appeared on his lips.

"Stop saying that." Kise snapped. The wooden chopsticks broke in his hold. "Please just stop saying… that if they aren't wolf, then I won't want you anymore. That I won't want the kid."

 _Liar_. A voice in his mind told him. Kise pointedly ignored it.

"Kise… it's just a suggestion." Kasamatsu said, calmly. "I'm grateful that you want us, but… should this doesn't work, I want to make sure we'll end it… amicably." There was a strangeness in the way he said the words. Too calm. Too impersonal. Like it didn't matter to Kasamatsu if they broke up.

And he wouldn't look at Kise in the eye.

"It won't happen." Kise shook his head, repeatedly. "It won't ever happen, okay? Just … trust me. Please."

He took Kasamatsu's hand and pressed it against his face. "I get it. You can… you can look for a part time job. Just be careful. Really. Be careful." He kissed the knuckles, the grip tightened.

"… yeah. Thanks, Kise."

He had to work too, the blonde thought. Skip club practice, take more modelling gigs - he could care less about school. They needed money. Kise could ask his family to borrow some fund. He was unsure if they would give him what he'd ask for, given Kasamatsu's status, and the fact that he'd made a mate pregnant without informing them.

Kise thought of Rina, his oldest sister. The gentle, kind Rina. She was married to a wealthy family. He could ask her first. She… would be much more accepting than their parents. Kise was counting on that.

That night, after dinner, Kise couldn't sleep.

A lot of thoughts kept crossing in his head. About what the doctor said, about the money they desperately needed, about Kasamatsu - about himself. So many happened in the course of a short time. He turned his gaze from the ceilings to watch Kasamatsu - already asleep - and thought this was probably the only peaceful moment they could afford. A short break. But when dawn risen, everything would come back to haunt him.

—

It was his fault.

That was what Kasamatsu thought about all of this.

Even though Kise played a major role in this mess, Kasamatsu wasn't entirely innocent either — he was aware of it.

He looked at the blonde who was sleeping next to him curled up. His arms were wrapped around Kasamatsu's waist, eyebrows furrowed as if he was having a nightmare. Kasamatsu stroked the blonde hair — soft as silk from all the hair products he used — the motion seemingly soothed Kise, as the creases uncurled slowly. Kise munched in his sleep, mouthing something incomprehensible. Kasamatsu smiled a bit. Just a little smile, before his lips tightened into a tight line again.

His fault. He thought. Partially, his fault.

He continued stroking Kise's hair.

"I spoiled you too much, you know." He whispered softly. "I knew I shouldn't, but how could I not? You're…"

… his soft spot. Kise was Kasamatsu's weakness. With all of the blonde's intrusiveness, bright smiles and bold, shameless flirting — and all of his unexpectedly serious, earnest sides — he'd grown on Kasamatsu. And before he knew it, the blonde had become his weakness. He developed affection for Kise.

Because he'd forgotten responsibility and maturity when he was with Kise. Because Kasamatsu wasn't good with romance as he was inexperienced, new to the concept. Because he couldn't help himself from spoiling the blonde, like how he couldn't help but feel jealously towards Kise's female fans. Like how Kasamatsu thought he was unworthy of Kise's pedigree, or like how he couldn't be completely honest because he was older, stubborn, prideful and bitterly insecure. How he knew that he had hurt Kise with his dishonesty, at times.

He was partly to blame. It took two people to have a relationship, and it took both sides to influence the outcome of it. Kasamatsu came to learn that, over time.

As much as everyone would like to think, Kasamatsu wasn't an innocent victim.

—

When Kise returned to school next Monday, he noticed reporters crowding at the entrance.

Some were lurking around the vicinity, trying to get into the campus. They were loud and obnoxious. The teachers were blocking the entrance, attempting to talk them down to no avail. Unsurprisingly, they were asking for Kise. The blonde frowned at the smell of pungent perfume some of them wore and the stench of sweat that came from their armpits. His nose could scent them from miles away. It made him want to gag.

Kise took a different route. He pulled out a brown beanie from his bag and wore it to cover his blonde hair. Some non-prescription pair of glasses helped obscured his amber-colored eyes. He went for the long way, around the school, aiming for the back entrance. Kaijou was a huge private school though, it took him an extra five to ten minutes to look for a safe spot the pesky reporter didn't check.

The back gate was empty. Good.

The only problem was, that it was locked shut. Chained. Kise had to climb over the fence to get into school. He was late for morning practice as the result.

"What's with the beanie and glasses?" Hayakawa pointed at his head after Kise entered the gym.

"Reporters." The blonde sighed exasperatedly. "I knew this was gonna happen so I brought a few stuff with me that could fool them… somewhat." He took off the disguise.

"Huh, they have no life." Hayakawa scowled. "I remember seeing them when we went to visit Kasamatsu-Senpai at the hospital. Vicious bunch. By the way, you okay, Kise? I heard the news. Senpai told me you had to lay low for a bit so we didn't try to visit you in case someone's following us."

"Let me guess; they tried to interview you guys."

"You were missing from school. They wanted to know where you were, so yeah." The current Captain shrugged his shoulders. "They thought we knew something. We didn't. The Senpais wouldn't tell us what was up. They just told us not to look for you, in the mean time."

"I see." Kise frowned. "Well, I'll go change first."

"By the way, five laps for the tardiness." Hayakawa chastised him, before laughing out loud. "Kidding. You've gone through a lot, man. Chill. I know why you're late." He smacked Kise at the back, in which the blonde flinched at.

"That hurts, Senpai." Kise huffed.

Hayakawa stared at him, a little too closely.

"By the way, Kise … " He started. "About Kasamatsu-Senpai… we visited him at the hospital some time ago and, uuh." He scratched his head.

"Yeah?" Kise raised an eyebrow. The usually confident and boisterous Hayakawa looked unsure. Strange.

"There's a… rumour. Been going around while you two were gone." He said. "Because … I could've sworn something was different about Senpai. I think the other guys noticed too. We weren't sure and I didn't ask him, cos I thought it'd be rude. Too personal."

Kise frowned. "A rumour? What rumour? What are you talking about?"

Hayakawa paused, then he waved it off with a somewhat awkward laugh. "No. Never mind. It's stupid. I mean, it was probably the hospital's environment. Everyone's scents got mixed up. That happens, sometimes."

The blonde kept a tight lip. He couldn't tell him. "Yeah. Anyway, Senpai, I'll be back soon."

As he headed to the locker room, Kise thought about what Hayakawa said. Kasamatsu's scent hadn't changed that much since the pregnancy was still very early. Just a touch of change in his scent that grew stronger the longer the pregnancy developed. Hayakawa must've noticed it too, being a fellow canine with a sharper nose than the other species.

Rumours. What kind of rumours? Kise disliked gossips. He'd been subjected to various rumours by bored highschool girls and boys. People who said he'd knocked up a dozen girls, or that Kise was half caucasian, or that he was the illegitimate son of a famous actor … ridiculous shit. It wasn't new. This one probably involved the recent abduction case. People were bored and curious, thus they made up imaginary versions of it.

Lame.

The morning practice went as usual. A few curious looks from the seniors and first years, but the only one who actually asked questions were Hayakawa. It was actually surprising that Nakamura, who usually avoided Kise unless necessary, asked him once if he was okay. Just once and it was a short generic question, but Kise appreciated the gesture. Most of them respected his space. He was thankful for that.

The classroom though, was another matter entirely.

As soon as he arrived, he was surrounded by curious crowds and onlookers and was bombarded with questions about the abduction case and Kise's involvement in it, the reporters and what exactly happened. Most of them were girls - his fans - whom Kise had a really hard time trying to avoid. It was only after the homeroom teacher came into the class, were they forced to break away, returning to their own seats of their classes.

The reporters were still lurking outside, too. God, they were stubborn.

At lunch time, Kise was called to the student consultant's office. They were asking about the case, again, and whether Kise was alright. All the generic questions. Though when they told him his parents had contacted the school in hopes of finding Kise, he went rigid. Truthfully, he never did go back to his parents' house. He stayed at the apartment he was renting. The one owned by the agency.

"… no I didn't come home." Kise said. "They live a bit far away from here, so I stayed at the apartment my agency owns. It's closer to school."

"Your parents were concerned. They had no idea where you were, since the case was all over the news. You should go see them, to set their hearts at peace. They were very worried." The teacher gently urged him.

Kise didn't reply. His parents didn't really monitor him directly. They did it through other people — teachers, bodyguards, assistants — it was how it had always been. Their family. His parents were busy managing their assets and making sure his sisters were sufficiently 'encouraged' to produce more children … for wolf cubs. Kise was given more freedom because he was a boy. They had high hopes for him, as the sole male heir. He was a strong, healthy Alpha male. He'd be able to sire plenty of children in the future.

Except Kise didn't want that. Not anymore.

Maybe… since the day he met Kasamatsu. Things changed. Kise Ryouta himself, changed. And now, the changes were so rapid and abundant, he was beginning to lose track of his own life.

"Yes. And um, Kasamatsu Yukio. Your senior?" He switched the subject. "We received a call informing us that he'd been involved in the same accident as you did. We were told he was hospitalised due to injuries. The school has given him permission to take break until Thursday." He explained with a very soft voice. It was a confidential information.

"I see." Kise sighed in relief. Kasamatsu could rest longer. Thank god.

The 'consultation' took longer than necessary. But at least Kise could get away from the crowd of girls — he really wasn't in the mood. He didn't think he could put up the usual carefree smile around them. There were too many things going on in his head.

Instead of going back to class, he dragged his legs up the stairs. The labrooms on 4th floor were usually empty this time around. Nobody wanted to hangout with a bunch of jarred frogs and organs, and skeleton models. Plus, he could make phone calls without anyone prying.

Kise headed to the biology lab, then locked the door from the inside. His nose twitched at the smell of chemicals. Formaldehyde. Sulphur. It was horrible. He pinched his nose as he opened the window for fresh air. Ugh. No wonder nobody wanted to go up there.

But it was the perfect hiding place.

The blonde looked at the clear blue sky, dotted with white clouds. The cold weather was becoming warmer. It would be April soon. The seniors' graduation.

His gaze lowered. The track field came to sight — someone was running laps diligently. Another person on the sidelines was encouraging the runner. He couldn't see their faces. It was too far from where he was.

Absently, Kise took out his cellphone from his pocket. He thought about it. He could call his agency to ask for more gigs or he could call his sister to set up a meeting. Or, he could call Kasamatsu, tell him how much Kise missed him, how much he wished he could be where Kasamatsu was. Words that sounded awfully clingy. Cheesy.

… no, he sounded obsessed. Desperate.

Was it obsession, or was it love? Possessiveness, or paranoia? Kise couldn't tell anymore.

Everything had changed. For better, or worse.

—

TBC.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next Update should be next week! Sorry for the grammar - I think it gets worse the longer I don't write, but I can't really help it. (=_= ;)


	5. What Goes Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, basically, this is like … bonus chapter. Ahahaha ~ we need a lil' bit of light-hearted smut once in a while (people been complaining how I drive them nuts with the angst, hahahaha) Anyhow I needed this before the depressing return to the prison that is my school.
> 
> Warning: Smut. Dirty Talk. My inhibitions for KiKasa released into its full corrupted glory. General Shamelessness. Really, it's just porn on the second half.

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 4 : What Goes Around

—

_A few months ago._

—

He was good with casual dating, but not relationship.

How was it any different, you ask?

Well, Kise was a good singer. He could imitate famous singers' styles of singing, copy their dancing and get so into it, that before anyone realised it, he had been copying the performance perfectly. Karaoke dates were his favourite kind of date. He'd bring his partner to his favourite Karaoke in Shibuya and sang his heart out, seducing his partner at the same time. Girls especially, were suckers for the singing.

His second favourite date would be the theme park. It was fun, lively and flirty — if they wanted it to be. It was a versatile place. For adrenaline junkies, he could bring them to high-paced rides like the roller coaster, while for the more feminine, quieter partners, he'd bring them to slow rides. They could enjoy the views, the rides and the food. It was the perfect arrangement.

Kise was good with that sort of thing.

But relationship? He had almost zero experience with relationship. For him, it had been the first month that was the most fun — they'd go on dates every weekend, fool around, have sex and be lovey dovey — but after the first month, things started to slow down. He'd started notice the little flaws, the demands and the nagging. The fact that he had to accommodate to his partner's problems and worries, how they'd try to compete with his other partners — suddenly, it wasn't fun anymore.

Breakups were frequent with Kise. He stayed as long as it was fun for him, but the moment it got too real, he'd back away.

Because who wanted that kind of thing?

"Senpai, is this a relationship?" He asked Kasamatsu. It was Friday. Next week would be Heat Week, and they'd be staying over at Kise's apartment.

Kasamatsu didn't reply. He pulled out the large duffel bag he'd stuffed into the locker earlier in the morning, closed the door and locked it, before he turned his sourpuss expression to Kise. "… so this isn't a relationship to you?" He asked, sullenly.

The blonde smiled, a little troubled.

"That's not what I mean ~ " He cheerfully said. "I was just wondering if this is the longest I've ever been with someone." Around half a year already, he thought. How times flew.

Kasamatsu sighed. "Of course it's a relationship, you idiot."

"Yeah. I guess it is, huh?" Kise draped himself all over Kasamatsu, kissing his neck.

Kasamatsu shoved him off. "Stop that, we're in school." He chastised him, cheeks flushing.

Kise laughed at that. "Aww ,you're so shy ~ it's cute!"

Kasamatsu was the first.

The first person Kise had been in a real relationship. The first whom Kise had been with for this long. The first person he'd felt so strongly for. The first who made him the happiest. The first who kicked him the first time they met. The first person in Kaijou whom he felt respect for.

But he was also the one who showed him how ugly jealously could be. How possessive Kise could be. The anxiety. The fear. The worries. How far he would go to keep things this way, never to be apart, because the thought of it alone, scared him  _shitless_.

His First Love.

Kise gritted his teeth.

He pulled Kasamatsu into a hug, nuzzling him closely. "Everyone's gone home and your scent is alluring." He whispered, nipping his ear. The Heat was coming. Kise was getting impatient. Kasamatsu's scent had become stronger — and he could smell faint scents of other suitors on his skin. Someone from the third year, maybe. He didn't know them, but they still dared to approach an Kasamatsu.

It aggravated him.

Kasamatsu was his. His. His.  _His_. His  _First_.

Kise was there, first.

Kasamatsu shivered under his touch. He could tell the scent was growing stronger, sweeter. "Kise…" The senior looked around, checking if there was anyone else in sight. It was after the last club activity for the week, before the break commenced. The locker room was empty. Everyone had gone home, eager to rid of the peaking needs for physical pleasure.

"See?" He kissed down Kasamatsu's neck. One hand went up Kasamatsu's shirt, pulling at his nipple. "I told you nobody's here."

"It's too early. Surely, we can wait until we're at your place." Kasamatsu said. Even though he was already breathless, face flushed and hot. Kise lapped up the sweat from his skin. He could smell the soap mixed with the sweat. He growled softly, the wolf was perking up, interested.

"Not gonna do it here again?" The blonde tilted his head innocently.

They actually did it in the locker room, once. It was hours after Sunday practice ended and Kasamatsu was overseeing Kise's portion of extra training, as usual. Everyone, including the coach and the managers, had left the school. They were the only ones left… it was exciting even though Kise ended up cramping his knees because they were doing it standing up. He'd even come inside … it was amazing.

"No. We have no condoms here." Kasamatsu pushed him away, grumping. His face was red, maybe from memory or the state of arousal from Kise's groping. "That last time's a one-time thing. We're not doing it here again."

"Aww." The blonde pouted.

"No 'aww,' dimwit. We're going home." Kasamatsu groused. He slung the bag on his shoulder, then headed for the entrance. "You better not forget about the condoms, by the way." He said, eyes narrowed.

Oops.

"We're going to forget about them anyway. Heat does that, you know. Make you too wild to remember stuff." Except Kise had always been careful whenever he did it with girls. Girls could get pregnant. Guys needed parasite to conceive. Though … he used to wear condoms all the time back then as a precaution.

Now it became an irony.

"Still, it'll be too messy." Kasamatsu said, shrugging. The sky was already dark when they were outside. It was chilly, so they stayed close to each other. "We… should've been more careful." The older boy murmured. "I know you're clean, and I'm clean. Still … especially if we're outside. It's inconvenient."

Kise chuckled.

"Well, if we do it outside, I'll wear it." He teased, drawing closer to him. "Can't have your pants wet in public, after all. I mean, it's gonna drip all over your underwear too. You know, my cum."

Kasamatsu swiftly elbowed him, then smacked him upside the head. Very, very hard.

"OWW! That hurts, Senpai!" Kise clutched his belly and head, spilling crocodile tears. It really did hurt.

" _You goddamn pervert!_  Stop using that language! I don't remember ever teaching you those filthy words!" Kasamatsu was angry. Embarrassed, but mainly angry. He was red to his ears and down to his neck, fuming so hard it was as if smoke would come out of his nose.

Kise blinked at him, before laughing out loud, clutching at his aching belly and guffawed.

"Hahaha, sorry Senpai — you're so red, it's funny! Hahahaha! Oh my god, my stomach is hurti —"

He was rewarded with a dropkick.

_Aah, I love him._

Being with Kasamatsu, Kise was happy. So, so happy.

Sometimes he felt so happy that he would be unable to sleep in bed, thinking of Kasamatsu, or waiting for his call, or waiting for a text. Every night he looked forward to meeting his senior in club practices, while dreading the days he had to go for photoshoots because he was still a magazine model with a legal contract. On weekends when Kasamatsu was busy, mainly for studying or other things, he would sulk, sit in the couch and try to watch TV to prevent himself from calling Kasamatsu.

It was ridiculous.

He was in love. So in love.

He wanted to hold Kasamatsu in his arms tightly, never let him go. But if he held him too firmly, Kasamatsu would suffocate, wouldn't he? So, Kise tried to understand. He had to hide his jealously from overflowing, every time he saw Kasamatsu was approached by one of his admirers.

He couldn't hog Kasamatsu's attention all the time, the senior had a lot of things to do; school, basketball team, friends and family. Kise wasn't no. 1 priority. He was okay with that. He tried to be okay with that. Kise tried to understand. He did understand. He couldn't have Kasamatsu all for himself, but at least he could have Kasamatsu's heart and body. At least they were together.

 _Keep it cool, keep it cool. Be patient. Stop seeing other people, just focus on Kasamatsu. Don't be jealous. Tune off that Alpha wolf instinct, it's annoying._  He'd make Kasamatsu angry if he reacted petulantly. If Kasamatsu was happy, Kise was happy too. He told himself that. Kise needed to keep up his public image anyway, so it worked both ways, in the end of the day.

It was endless effort. Yet he didn't mind.

But suggesting to breakup?

It broke everything. It broke Kise.

Broke his heart.

Kasamatsu was his First Love.

"I love you." He whispered to Kasamatsu, on their way home, to Kise's apartment. Their were holding hands. There were hardly people around at that time of the evening.

Kasamatsu had looked at him, steel blue eyes widened — he stopped on his track, for a few seconds. Kise could see the emotions warring behind those slate blue eyes — joy at first, then reluctance, anxiety and finally… disbelief. Slowly, as if time fractured into a snail's pace, Kasamatsu lowered his gaze, lips tightened to a thin line.

"…thank you." He whispered softly.

_Why won't you believe me?_

Kise forced a smile on his face. His grip on Kasamatsu's hand tightened. "Let's go home faster." He said, trying to hide the trembles behind his voice. "I want to … enjoy tonight. Let's have a nice dinner and watch some movies before we go to bed."

Kasamatsu didn't say anything. He nodded once.

Even if Kise had shouted that in front of a crowd — in front of the whole damn school, Kasamatsu wouldn't believe him.  _Hahaha_. The only one who mattered, couldn't believe his confession. Was this karma, for what he'd done in the past? For breaking so many hopeful hearts? That he'd been cold-hearted to those who'd loved him?

Was this a punishment?

"Hey." Kasamatsu tapped his jaw, pulling him out of the dark thoughts. "Don't look like that. Didn't you say you want to enjoy tonight?" The senior said, frowning.

"Oh." Kise blinked. "Oh yeah, sorry." He forced a smile again, which made Kasamatsu's frown deepened.

"Don't smile if you don't feel like it. That's bad habit." He told him, pinching his cheek.

"… isn't that supposed to be a good trait? Make everyone happy?" Kise pouted. They almost arrived at his place, just needed to go up the elevator to the third floor. The cramped cubicle was empty. Their hands remained tangled within the private space they shared.

"No, it's not. Don't do that to yourself." Kasamatsu shook his head. "Don't lie."

Kise looked at him. He wanted to say something but the words were stuck in his throat. He brushed the thoughts away — the words of accusation and the sharp retort. He didn't want to argue. Not now. Not when everything was put on a pedestal. The end of the fracture in their broken relationship, where each of the aspects that connected Kise and Kasamatsu started separating itself, fading away. Vanishing.

One by one, gone. The school. The club. The tournaments. Their mutual friends. Teammates. Soon, nothing would remain.

What would become of Kise after everything ended? Should he return to the way he was before he met Kasamatsu?

He couldn't imagine it, no matter how much he tried.

They had a quiet dinner, which was followed by the movie night in the living room. They chose some movies that Kise didn't really pay attention to. He was watching Kasamatsu instead, almost forgetting the fact that they would soon be in heat, which was really odd in itself. Instead of them trying to pull each other's clothes off in desperation to mate vigorously, they were having this serene evening and enjoying each other's company.

Like the quiet before a storm.

"What's the point of a movie night if you're not watching the movie?" Kasamatsu turned his attention to him, sighing.

Kise grinned playfully. "I'd rather watch you!"

"Really. There's nothing interesting on my face." Kasamatsu deadpanned.

"Of course there are plenty of interesting things on your face ~ " The blonde scooted closer. He had an arm sneaked behind the senior's back, to pull him into a half-hug. He leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"There's your cheek." He said, then his lips moved down to his jaw. "Your refined jaw." He nipped at Kasamatsu's chin. "… your chin. It's pretty yummy."

Kasamatsu shivered. "I'm not food."

"You might as well be." Kise's voice turned into a slight growl, as his lips and teeth found the large tendon of the senior's neck, biting, sucking the patch of skin until it bloomed red with a new mark.

"Kise…" Kasamatsu half-groaned. He tilted his head to give Kise room to gnaw on his neck. "It's too early, and… we just had practice today."

He kissed the hickey. "Okay. So… tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

The blonde nuzzled Kasamatsu, rubbing his scent onto the other man. He could go into heat tonight, but tomorrow was good too. He could wait. "Should we go to bed early?" He asked. "You can use the bathroom first."

"Alright. Thanks."

Kasamatsu took up on his offer. He left the living room area with spare clothes and tooth brush he took out of the bag. When he was out of sight, Kise got off the couch. He knitted his eyebrows, frowning. Kasamatsu was away, he could … start preparing for it. For the parasite.

He'd thought about it. Part of him knew it was a bad idea. Possibly the worst idea he ever came up with. It was wrong. He knew. He would be forcing Kasamatsu, he'd betray the last bits of faith Kasamatsu had in him. Kasamatsu might even start hating Kise for it. Besides, he could fail. That Kasamatsu wouldn't get pregnant despite his effort. There were so many risks.

But another part that existed deeper inside of him, from the corners of his psyche — where the more selfish, bitter and darker thoughts resided, it spoke the otherwise. Like the whispers of the devil.

The dark corners created unwanted images of Kasamatsu, living his life away from Kise, having moved on… with his friends and family. And there was another person, by his side. A lover. A stranger.

An  _enemy_.

The thoughts infuriated him. It hurt him, with a sense of pain far worse than what he felt in his first defeat. It enraged him so much, that the Great Wolf inside responded to the darkness that grew larger inside of him, breaking out from the corners from which it was born. The dark thoughts became a tumour — a sickness that plagued him. It corrupted the Wolf, who convinced him what he was doing wasn't wrong.

He didn't know what else to do.

"I have no choice." He murmured to himself.

Because Kise knew Kasamatsu. He knew that once they broke up, Kasamatsu would uphold his promise. He would leave and disappear from Kise's life. He'd make effort to stay away. Amicable as he wanted to end the relationship, Kasamatsu would make sure he wouldn't make the same mistake twice. And Kise… would be a past mistake he wouldn't turn to, for a second time.

He couldn't let that happen.

Eventually, he let his legs bring him to the kitchen. Kise had prepared prescribed sleeping pills, to make sure Kasamatsu stay asleep during the process of insertion and the 8 hours of incubation period. He crushed two pills, then mixed them into a cup of hot chocolate. It dissolved into the swirling liquid swiftly. Kise made another for himself with a different mug.

His stomach curled with guilt. Yet he brushed it off quickly. He didn't want to think about it.

It was his birth right, as an Alpha. The rules of the Jungle. Kise would take what he wanted by force. Power, wealth and mates — it was a justification he told himself, even when the very idea itself was the direct opposite to what he believed in. How bitterly ironic.

"Hey, I made you some hot chocolate." Kise said when Kasamatsu came out from the bathroom.

The senior looked at the offered mug and smiled. "Thanks."

Kise watched him as he sipped the warm drink, heart beating in his ribcage. "I'll go brush my teeth." He lowered the mug, leaning down to kiss Kasamatsu's cheek. "Go to bed ahead of me, I'm gonna take a while."

"Because of your skincare routine." The older boy snorted.

He grinned, he ducked to give Kasamatsu a goodnight kiss. "Damn straight."

After that, Kise waited.

He spent twenty minutes in the bathroom, doing his routine. When he was done, Kasamatsu was already fast asleep in his bed. The empty mug was left on the nightstand.

Kise sat on the bed, watching Kasamatsu sleep. His fingers reached for the dark hair. They moved slowly, stroking the black strands in gentle pace. Kasamatsu was so deeply asleep he barely stirred.

What Kise was going to do — it was cruelty.

All he could do was deny the truth and proceed.

—

When the heat came the next day, neither of them held back.

It was Kasamatsu's first Heat Week with a partner, so Kise had wanted to be gentler … but Kasamatsu was more eager than he thought. In the morning, he woke up to Kasamatsu rubbing himself against the blonde.

His cheeks were flushed hot, skin damp with sweat. His slate blue eyes were glazed with arousal — he was on top of Kise, dry humping the blonde with a primal sort of fervour.

"Kise… I feel hot … "

His voice had became deeper, his throat rumbling with a low growl. His teeth were sharper, they protruded against his lips. He rocked his hips, rubbing his clothed cock onto Kise's. The latter could feel the obvious bulge rubbing onto him.

"Whoa … Good morning, I guess?" Kise's lips twitched up into a half-smirk. What a way to wake up in the morning. He could get used to this.

"Don't make fun of me, dumbass." Kasamatsu scowled. He sunk his teeth into Kise's shoulder in return. It was a shallow bite that barely stung.

"Ow, that hurts." But he was getting pretty excited by the bite and Kasamatsu's horniness. It was amusing, since usually Kise would be the one initiating the moves. "I'm not the one dry humping someone else so early in the morning, you know." He cheekily said.

"Shut up." Kasamatsu's breathed heavily, panting. He was wriggling impatiently on top of Kise, sweat dribbling down his temples. He smelled delicious, ripe for the taking.

"Just… Fucking hurry up…!"

"Hmmm." The blonde playfully reached down to grope Kasamatsu's ass, squeezing the buttocks in his palms. "Hurry up, for what?"

Kasamatsu let out a stifled gasp when Kise squeezed his ass. He bit his bottom lip. "You know what it is." He groused, annoyed, he pushed his ass onto Kise's hands.

"No, I don't. Tell me." Kise nipped his ear, whispering seductively. "Tell me what you want." His fingers innocently trailed along the perineum, pushing the digits teasingly onto his anus.

"… asshole." Kasamatsu gasped. It sounded sexy to Kise, he wanted to hear more. "Take it… Take it off." He finally said, in a low whisper.

"Okay." He obliged, slowly pulling Kasamatsu's shorts down. The latter lifted his hips and legs to make it easier for the shorts to slip off his ankles.

"Now what?" He asked again, trailing his hands up and down Kasamatsu's legs, thighs, butt and up his shirt. Kasamatsu shivered under his touch.

"You're seriously pissing me off." He huffed. "Stop playing around, I…" The senior took in a trembling breath. "I can't take it… feels like…. there's fire inside…" He grasped the front of his shirt as if he was suffocating from the heat.

"It's not called  _the Heat_  for nothing." Which he had plenty of experience, with partners. Kise was calmer even during the Heat due to that. He was already pretty oversexed at that age. "How did you handle it without a partner, anyway? What did you do?" He asked, palms gliding across the damp skin.

Kasamatsu's face turned redder. "I — it's not important." He looked away.

"… toys?" Kise took a wild guess. They could be convenient, but ultimately wouldn't satisfy the inner beast's needs to procreate.

Kasamatsu didn't say anything — or couldn't say anything — he was red to his ears, the temperature of his skin increased. Hotter.

That answered his question.

"Oh, fuck." Kise could feel the arousal whirling in his stomach, making his head spin with images of Kasamatsu using a thick dildo to fuck himself during the Heat. It was too much visual stimulation to ignore. This uptight boy, who was always so proper, fiddling himself with sex toys. It was unbelievably sexy.

"That's fucking hot!"

He moved, flipping their position. He was on top now. Kise was getting excited — the Heat slowly but surely, came to him. His features started changing and his scent grew stronger — both of their seductive pheromones doused the air thickly.

"Hurry up… Kise, hurry up." Kasamatsu growled. He spread his legs and wrapped it around Kise's waist, his fingers clawed the blonde's shoulders.

The kisses they shared were a series of bites and sucks, violent, as if they were devouring each other's mouth. Kise's teeth and lips made bright red marks all over Kasamatsu's neck and shoulders. His own was full of Kasamatsu's.

Their clothes were ripped off in their impatience, as the beastly instincts began to take over. They were overcame by the needs to satisfy their primal urges, to mate blindly and aggressively. Kise had his fingers up Kasamatsu's ass to widen him up as they kissed ferociously, lips bruising under the force of their passion.

"Fuck!" Kasamatsu's hips moved with the motion of the fingers, wanting it deeper. He balled his fists on the sheets. The claws created rips from the force of his clutch. Their bodies were slick with sweat.

"Just fuck me already!" He shouted, scowling.

Kise growled. He took out his slick fingers, replaced it with his cock — he rubbed the head against the slack hole, managing to pause for two seconds. "Condom…?"

Kasamatsu was too occupied with the sensations to notice Kise's question. "Huh…? I - I don't care." His eyes were full with desire. Clouded.

"Just… Just come in. Come inside." He pulled him down, legs wrapping around the blonde's waist. He whispered to Kise's ears, with logic and reason flying out of the windows.

"Fill me up, Kise."

That was enough for Kise to lose control.

They couldn't stop themselves after they started. Kise fucked Kasamatsu throughout the morning, losing count of how many rounds they did — He came inside, multiple times, until Kasamatsu's ass was full with his cum, leaking profusely every time he moved.

Their bodies were full of wounds, scratches, bite marks and scores of nails. Kise's back was all jacked up, red lines covered the alabaster skin until there was no empty spot left. While bites and hickeys decorated his neck and shoulders. As if Kasamatsu was determined to mark Kise thoroughly. The blonde was happy to return the sentiment with his own brand of possessiveness.

They would take short breaks to clean up (even though they were going to get dirty again), changed the wet, sticky bedsheets and ate some food that Kasamatsu cooked for them. Their food breaks were always done in a hurry, because soon enough the Heat came and they'd be too horny to care where they fucked.

"You know, if we're just gonna get dirty again, we don't have to wash up." Kise bit Kasamatsu's nape as he rocked his hips, fucking Kasamatsu from behind. They weren't able to reach the bed, so they settled for the couch instead. Neither was patient enough to hold back.

"It feels… gross after —  _aah_  — after you… came inside. And  _mmh_ , I'm all… sweaty." Kasamatsu gasped nonstop. His claws clenched and unclenched at the spine of the couch. It creaked under them. The floor would have marks after they were done. Actually he wasn't sure if the apartment would last during the heat. It might get a little destroyed...

"I thought you like it? You love it when I come inside. You get so much tighter down there … well, not so tight anymore after a few times, I guess." The blonde chuckled teasingly. He reached to Kasamatsu's front, pinching his nipple and stroking him at the same time.

"Goddamn pervert…"

Kasamatsu wasn't able to utter one comprehend word anymore. He kept moaning and growling, the velvet covering was shredded into ribbons under his grasping claws. Kise enjoyed the pleasant sweltering heat passed between them every time they moved. They were joint together again and again, in a manner that nothing else could compare. Like they were the same creature. Created with the same mould.  
  
Like Kasamatsu was only his.  
  
"I love you, Yukio-san." He whispered, kissing Kasamatsu's nape. Kasamatsu involuntarily tightened when he murmured the words. "I love you so much."  
  
The body beneath him trembled. The gasping and moaning escalated. He let out a shuddering breath as Kise continued ramming into him. It was hot inside Kasamatsu, amazingly hot. He could feel the pleasure building up, but he didn't want to come yet. He never wanted it to end.

It didn't took long before they both reached the peak of climax — Kasamatsu came onto the couch and Kise, inside of the senior. They both laid on the couch, panting. Kise rested on top of Kasamatsu, arms wrapped around the senior.

The Wolf's needs to mate were fulfilled with each round, knowing Kasamatsu could conceive with the parasite implanted. The Wolf in him wanted offsprings, while Kise... he didn't want them. He didn't want kids. Kise hated being tied down, yet he was reluctant of letting Kasamatsu go.  
  
How selfish and childish of him. In truth, he knew he was in the wrong. But he didn't want to admit it.   
  
"With the amount of what I put in you … it won't be surprising if you get pregnant." He whispered against Kasamatsu's sweaty skin.

"…? What are you talking about? I'm not a girl, dumbass. Don't talk nonsense." Kasamatsu looked at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He gave him a weak bop on the side of the head.

Kise couldn't look at him in the eyes. Instead he buried his face to Kasamatsu's shoulder to hide from his own lies.

"… nah. It's just a thought."

He couldn't go back. Not anymore.

—

TBC.

—


	6. Whispers

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 5 : Whispers

—

Kasamatsu's graduation was in two months.

Two months, he thought, as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. His gaze lowered to his belly. His abs were there, not as tight because he hadn't been exercising, but still looked pretty much flat. Kasamatsu ran his fingers across his belly, circling the hand around the area. He didn't feel different.

He didn't look pregnant. Maybe he really could hide the pregnancy until he graduated. The doctor said he wouldn't show for at least three more months.

Appearance aside … he could use a cologne to hide his scent.

Kasamatsu frowned. He never used cologne. If anything, Moriyama and Kobori would still be asking questions why he suddenly started wearing it, among other things. The others wouldn't, but those two… could he even lie convincingly to them? He sighed, his hand was rubbing lazy circles on his stomach.

Tomorrow he was going back to school. Needless to say, he wasn't looking forward to it. After all that happened, returning to normal life needed some adjustment on his part.

"… normal life, huh." How would someone go on with their daily life like this? With a… child on the way. He supposed married people would be happy about it. While for him, it hadn't felt real, even after everything. Finding out, getting angry, confused, sad and angry again… and then resigned.

Never once he did he feel happy with the way it became.

Kasamatsu stroked his stomach with head lowered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be indecisive." He apologised to no one in particular — not that the baby had developed enough to grow consciousness. It wouldn't be able to hear him, much less understand him.

It didn't understand that it wasn't wanted.

Kasamatsu frowned deeply. Bad thoughts. So much melancholy, with much too little time left for him to deal by himself. Slowly, he moved away from the bathroom mirror to start dressing up for the night. He was back in his house, and he would be returning to school tomorrow. Whatever would happen… he had to get ready for it.

Get ready for what?

For the questions, the odd looks people would throw his way, asking silent questions just what had he been doing and where had he gone to for the whole week? Kasamatsu Yukio, the Kaijou ex-captain, acting with irresponsibility and ill behaviour — the world had gone mad. At least his world had indeed, gone mad.

Surreal, like the child he was carrying. Surreal, because despite what the doctor said, or what other people had told him, the fact that he was growing another life inside of him, it didn't feel real. To Yukio it was as if someone suddenly told him he was an alien and expected him to suddenly feel like he was a wholly different entity. That was impossible… he had been just the way he was for so many years.

He felt nothing had changed much. His appetite increased, his temper changed quickly, his senses sharpened far too high that he couldn't stomach pungent foods. His scent must've changed slightly. But what did it mean? If anything, it could've been explained differently — his appetite due to physical exertion, his temper had always been high strung, his nose had always been sharp due to the characteristic of his species — even his natural scent could change from changes in dietary.

It could be anything but pregnancy.

Except reality wasn't that kind.

A knock to the door took him away from his private thoughts. "Aniki." Akira's voice called him. "Are you okay? You've been inside for while. Dinner's ready." He sounded concerned.

"I'll come out soon." Yukio quickly dressed up in a baggy shirt. For a second he thought maybe he'd chosen the shirt because it would hide his belly — and he shrugged off the thought. It was silly. there was no need to do it so early when his stomach still looked flat.

Akira waited for him at the door, like a guard dog he never was.

"Are you okay?" He repeated the question. His thick eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm fine. Just got caught up in the bath." He lied nonchalantly.

"If you say so. Come on, the dinner's gonna get cold." The younger brother tugged his sleeve. Funny, because that hadn't happened in what, five to seven years? Akira was never one to cling to Yukio, as he was the more independent of his two younger siblings.

"Are you seriously going to escort me downstairs?" He asked, one eyebrow raised.

"You're unwell." Akira reasoned, his eyes subtly darted down to Yukio's stomach. Of course Yukio didn't miss it.

"… I'm older than you. I don't need to be taken care of."

"Well, I'm bigger and taller than you." The other boy retorted. "And sick people shouldn't complain when someone wants to take care of him."

Yukio frowned, but he was too tired to argue. He let Akira took him downstairs… which really it was just two minutes away from the bathroom on the second floor. Fuyuki was already at the table, and their father was coming home late as usual. Not that Yukio wanted him around, when he was still upset with Yukio. His dad would stare at him, with a quiet sort of rage as if he wanted to say something, but he'd said it already before and didn't want to repeat himself, thus the silence. He would act strangely around him, tense and guarded.

Meanwhile, his mother refused to talk about the topic entirely, almost always avoiding it every time it came up or mentioned. She was in denial. The good thing was that she acted fairly normally on daily basis, which was a relief. A slight relief.

Everything was just awkward.

"Nii-san." Fuyuki got up and beamed at him. "Come, come. Mom's cooked your favourites!" The youngest brother quickly went to scoop a bowl of rice and a bowl of miso soup for their eldest, ignoring Akira entirely.

"Where's mine?" Akira asked.

Fuyuki rolled his eyes. "Get it yourself, duh. You're not sick, like Nii-san are."

"…somehow even if I'm sick I doubt you'd get rice for me." Akira sighed and went to get his own portion of rice and soup.

Fuyuki fussing over Yukio wasn't rare. If anything, his younger brothers were much more honest than their parents. They didn't behave differently other than being a little bit more protective because Yukio was still 'sick'. He appreciated the honesty, glad his siblings didn't reject him the way his parents did … although he understood their reasons, it was still rather hurtful.

"Thanks, Fuyu." He smiled.

Fuyuki grinned in response. "Any time, Nii-san!"

The dinner went normally. Their mother was in a good mood and Fuyuki chatted animatedly about the funny things his friends did at school. She was laughing and the atmosphere was relaxed. Akira was more quiet as he ate, occasionally nodding when Fuyuki shot him references to confirm the factual event.

Yukio, in the other hand, seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. He didn't really listen to Fuyuki's stories. He was thinking of how he would have to go to school and if he could arrive without a hitch. He heard the reporters were still stalking Kuroko wherever he went, even at school and around the neighbourhood he lived in. There hadn't been any that he knew of, he couldn't help but wonder if that would be his near future.

After all, he was having Kise's kid.

"… I'll take you to school?" Akira's voice said, although it sounded distant. "Aniki, what do you think?"

"Huh?" Yukio snapped out of his daze, blinking. "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say?"

Akira looked at him with a small frown. "We were talking about who's going to take you to school tomorrow. Fuyu's going for early morning practice, so I can go with you to Kaijou." He explained, while Fuyuki nodded in agreement.

"What? I can go by myself. I don't need an escort." He rejected the idea immediately.

"You're not feeling well. You're not even eating that much." Akira sternly pointed. Which was true. He had some leftover on his plate. "And there's possibility you're going to be followed by reporters. Either me or Fuyu will take you to school everyday."

"I'm not a child." He growled, irritated.

"Yukio-chan, mom thinks Akira is right. You're not well, and…" Her eyes darted down, and Yukio knew exactly where her mind was at. "Please just let them take you to school? It's just for two more months, right?" She said, her voice soft and urgent, pleading.

"But mom, I — "

Yukio looked at his mother, who looked tired, sad, worried and just… stressed out. She had to, because she had been taking half days off her work to take care of Yukio at home. She had to deal with responsibilities in her job and at home with her kids and her husband. Her eyes were glazed, with a pair of dark shadows hanging beneath the lower lashes. The creases on her face had deepened, making her appear older.

Why didn't he notice it sooner?

He glanced at Fuyuki and Akira, both had hard looks on their faces, like they'd talked about this before, the two of them — their ages were so close to each other they might as well be twins — and that they'd decided this plan before they suggested it.

Yukio sighed.

"… fine. But Akira, no funny business, okay?" He told Akira, firmly.

"I'm not a drama queen like Fuyu." The middle child shrugged his broad shoulders, earning a protest from the youngest.

Yukio wasn't exactly worried about Akira making a big scene… it was the quiet scene he was worried about. He knew exactly how his siblings were. "Okay. So tomorrow we go earlier. You can't be late for school. We'll wake up at 4 tomorrow."

"Alright, no problem."

He was reluctant, yet, as their mother said, he only had two months left for school. It shouldn't be too much of a problem.

The next morning, Yukio woke up to the alarm he set for 4 A.M. He took a warm shower and did his morning routine, put his things into the bag and went to the kitchen to fix himself some breakfast, but Akira was already downstairs, cooking some omelette and rice. The table was set for two people.

"Sit down, it'll be done soon." He told Yukio, as he flipped the omelette. Yukio could see the bits of capsicum and other cut vegetables that Akira added into the egg mixture to make a healthy breakfast.

Yukio sat on the table, staring at his little brother curiously. "You're early. What time did you wake up?"

"Around 3:30. I went for a jog." Akira said. "At this hour, no one's around. It's pretty cool. It's like a ghost town out there."

"… right." Yukio didn't know Akira had been so… diligent. "How about Fuyu? You guys don't jog together?"

Akira shrugged. "He's a wimp. Always woke up late and couldn't focus 'cos he hates the dark — got too twitchy and squeamish. I got annoyed, so I ditched him."

Fuyuki was a delicate boy when he was younger… it wasn't surprising. "I see."

The meal was finished a few minutes later. Akira plated the breakfast. He had three omelettes, two slices of bread, some salad and a bowl of miso for himself, while he made about two-thirds of the portion for his older brother. "Eat up, Aniki. Don't leave out anything or I'll be annoyed." He told him.

Yukio laughed. "It's been a while since I made you mad." He idly cut a square-shaped bite-size from the omelette.

"You don't do things that annoy me — unlike Fuyu." Akira started eating his meal vigorously. Those muscles he accumulated weren't for show — he needed plenty of protein to support the structure.

"Fuyu's your little brother. You used to annoy me so much when you were younger, you unruly brat." Yukio reached for his head to ruffle his hair. "You were a troublemaker who destroyed all the vases in our house, and I got blamed for it. You were three. It was worse when you got older."

"… I refuse to acknowledge that accusation." Akira let his hair be ruffled.

"Between you and Fuyu, Fuyu's cuter and behaved better."

"I refuse that nonsense either. He's only  _acting_  cute. He's clingy and obnoxious." He actually looked disgusted.

"Heh. I wonder where you got your pigheadedness?" Yukio laughed heartily.

He had thought that being treated like a first grader would be a great annoyance. It turned out spending time with his younger siblings wasn't so bad. Yukio had been too busy with club and school, since highschool started, that he realised he hadn't caught up much with Akira and Fuyuki. It was nice.

"Do I have a girlfriend? No. Not really." Akira shrugged as they walked down the streets to go to the train station. "I'm too busy for that. During heat, I use the heat room and stay there until it's over."

"You don't lack partners, though?" The older brother nudged him.

"I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're asking, Aniki. I don't like hooking up with random strangers. Fuyuki though, he always changes girlfriends and gets distracted. He should stop that kind of behaviour." He frowned. "He even skips practice to go on group dates. I really should kick him out of the team."

"But you didn't."

"He recently broke up with his girlfriend — some office lady seven years older — so he's back to focusing on practice again. He's too fickle. I should triple his menu as punishment."

"… we are similar, you and I." Yukio patted his younger brother's back, sympathetic.

It was early. He didn't expect anyone to be around safe for those who had early morning club practice, or a few people. He didn't have to worry about the unnecessary fuss about… anything, really. They got into a nearly empty train and got off ten minutes later, Akira walked him all the way to the front gates of Kaijou, before he left after telling Yukio he would come again later after school.

"Fuyu will walk you tomorrow." He informed Yukio. "I'll text you later, Aniki. Keep safe."

"Yeah. You too."

It was too early though. Five past thirty. The school wouldn't start until seven thirty. Yukio dropped his bag in his classroom and started wandering, his legs eventually brought him to a place he was most familiar with, the gym. Some sports club were doing their morning practice routine… Today, basketball club wasn't doing their morning practice, he noticed. The gym was occupied by the volleyball and tennis teams. He didn't enter the building, merely watching by the door.

Honestly, he missed basketball. Now that he'd retired, he missed it even more. He'd planned to go to the basketball club in university, but… Yukio absently stroked his stomach. That plan wasn't going to happen.

Not any time soon, probably not ever going to happen.

He drew in a deep breath. Being cooped up inside the house was bad for his mental health — too much melancholy and too few bright ideas. He shook his head. He must think of what he should do next… not that there was much to do other than the the final exams and the graduation ceremony — which was already pretty much decided. In a month's time, he wouldn't need to attend school anymore, he could look for a job then.

And about the university, he had to explain to Kobori and Moriyama that he wouldn't be joining them in the new semester.

He had to explain why, too. Yukio clenched his jaw. That would be a lot to take in. Yukio returned to his class, not entirely eager to meet his friends that day. He sat on his desk and gazed at the morning sky outside of the windows of the nearly empty classroom. Quietly, he took out his cellphone, his fingers pushed buttons as the screen lit up with dim light. He stared at the screen, at Kise's name, and wondered if he should call.

He decided not to. The hours were far too early. The blonde probably hadn't even woke up yet.

Yet a part of himself knew that he was just afraid, to be the first to call.

—

Kise skipped an entire day of school that day.

He had a photoshoot and an ad shooting for a commercial that took place outside of Tokyo, which was why he had a permission to skip school for the day.

He must admit that he chickened out, the other day. He'd resolved to call his sisters and tell them about his situation, but he ended up hesitating. He'd called his agency instead, to ask for jobs. Honestly, they were surprised that he did, Because Kise had been laying low since the recent commotion about the abduction. At some point the agency had a few whole days of the media calling, day in, day out to ask about Kise and his involvement with the case. The blonde hadn't been keeping a contact with them in the mean time.

For him to suddenly call, his manager chewed his ears off, first of all, for not updating them at all. They had exhausted the staff with the phone calls of million of questions about Kise, while having been in the dark the whole time because he went missing.

After school, he skipped practice and was picked up by his manager to go to the agency, where Kise was scolded for two hours by the president of the company and his stern manager wife.

Otherwise, apparently business had been good for them. The abduction, as horrible as it was, raised his popularity significantly. The mass was curious to hear the details of the case, while his existing fans were terribly anxious. His name kept showing up on the news, magazines and blogs. More than a few clients wanted to ride the coattail of the public fascination towards the case. There were offers for interviews, for magazine photoshoots and ads. There were even offers for roles in a drama series — cameos and small roles — and the pay was pretty good.

And Kise needed the money. Desperately so. H didn't tell anyone about it, because he refused to. Not yet, at least.

It didn't take long for him to say yes to the most lucrative offers they showed him. An ad, a photoshoot and an interview at the same day. His agency swiftly arranged for the photographer, the cameramen and the staff — everything — and he was booked for the day. The morning started with the cologne ad shooting with an actress in a hotel resort, which went rather well for an amateur actor like him.

"Good job with the scene." His manager told him in the dressing room. "You're pretty good with acting, Ryouta. I'm surprised." She complimented him with a smile.

Truthfully, he just went and copied the acting of those actors from TV dramas. It helped that the ad had a little bit of love story in the script… stereotypical storyline of a boy and a girl hooking up at the beach. The fact that he could actually use the Perfect Copy for something other than sports… that was enlightening.

"No big. Probably just a coincidence." The blonde shrugged, although the compliment made his mood better.

"The next scene's in ten minutes. Get ready, okay?" The manager then left him to change his clothes.

Kise rummaged his backpack and checked his phone for a text or a call. His sisters called once, his manager, job offers … but none from Kasamatsu. He frowned.

Instead, he shot his lover a text. He hadn't had the chance to call him before.

' _I'm out for a job. How are you?'_  He texted.

He waited for two minutes, perking up when the cellphone buzzed with a reply.  _'Are you skipping practice?'_ he read.

Kise really couldn't fool Kasamatsu.  _'I got permission today. Have you eaten?'_

' _Class is still in session.'_  It was almost lunch time at school.

He was going to reply, until the wardrobe assistant called him out for something. Kise was unhappy, yet he really had to go.

' _Okay. Take care, Senpai. I gotta go. I love you. I'll see you soon.'_  He quickly texted.

Kise couldn't bring his phone outside… He had to leave it in his bag. Kise wanted to carry it with him in case of emergency, but the manager and the director would scold him. He had to be patient. He still had breaks he could use to contact Kasamatsu. With that thought in mind, he hardened his resolution and went out to see the assistant.

Kise had the entire day all the way into the night scheduled out. The ad shooting would take most of the day, then they'd do a photoshoot in a studio back in Tokyo — somehow squeeze in an interview around dinner time — and finally, he would have breaks in between takes. It could take until late midnight for him to go home. In two days, Kise would have another photoshoot after school.

He wouldn't be able to see Kasamatsu much for a while. He'd skip practice and classes. The weekends were booked for work, he'd sneak in a few days off of the school days too, for his job. Would he be able to afford the time and energy to see Kasamatsu? The blonde frowned and shook his head. He shouldn't think like that. It couldn't be helped. They needed money, for the monthly rent, the bills… the hospital treatments, the baby things, a lot of things. Especially for the day Kasamatsu would give birth. And after he gave birth.

They needed a  _lot_  of money.

He clenched his jaw tightly.

Kise really didn't want to think too much about it. It wasn't the time to be pessimistic. He couldn't afford the time to be pessimistic. He only needed to look straight and do everything he could to make this  _work_. He had to.

Maybe part of the reason why, was because he wanted to redeem himself.

—

Kasamatsu put away the cellphone, he didn't bother to read the latest text Kise sent to him.

"Was that Kise?" Moriyama asked.

"Yeah. He's skipping school for work today. Got permission." He replied, pocketing the cellphone. The bell for lunch break had rung some five minutes ago. The class was empty safe for the two of them. He didn't necessarily needed to lie about it — Kasamatsu just didn't want Kise to fuss over him again. Like he did so often these days. He needed a break.

Moriyama looked at Kasamatsu closely. He wasn't smiling freely like he usually did, like he noticed something. After so many years of friendship, was it a wonder if he could tell something was off with Yukio? He wondered sometimes, if he could truly hide something from Moriyama and Kobori.

"Koji's coming over soon. You wanna grab something to eat?" Moriyama asked, still staring. His eyes sometimes shifted slightly, more feline-like, but returned to normal in a blink. The lynx… was he watching too? How awkward.

The longer Moriyama stared, the longer Kasamatsu would keep his sight elsewhere too. "Yeah. Let's get sandwich from the store." He wasn't really hungry, but… he had to eat. Kasamatsu absently rubbed his belly.

Moriyama moved from his seat, seemingly thoughtful. "Are you sure just sandwich is enough?" He asked.

Kasamatsu frowned. "What do you mean if it's enough?"

"I don't know. I have a feeling you need to eat more. You look skinny." The other boy shrugged. He looked at Kasamatsu again. "Seriously, Yuki. You should eat more. You look pale. Are you sure you're feeling okay? Aren't you pushing yourself too much? You know you can just get permission to rest up for the rest of the week, right?"

"I can't be cooped up forever." Kasamatsu shook his head. And the atmosphere at home was strange. The air was heavy and everyone acted out of the norm, they were either tense or upset — it made him nervous and upset too. He needed a breath of fresh air, badly. He needed to talk to his friends.

"Hmmm." Moriyama looked skeptical. When he took a step closer, Kasamatsu took a step back, conscious of the change of scent he had. If Moriyama stood too close to him… he'd notice.

The lynx stopped on his track. "Huh?" He blinked and tilted his head. "Wait… what was that?" He looked around and sniffed, frowning in confusion.

Kasamatsu swallowed thickly. He balled his fist on his side, teeth clenching. Maybe he should blurt it out? Kobori wasn't around yet. He wished Kobori could hurry and show up. Kasamatsu didn't want to have to explain things twice. Once would have taken all the courage he had mustered for days, mulling over when and how he was going to break the news to his friends. He wasn't ready for more stress.

Thankfully, Kobori peeked his head into their class just then.

"Hey! Sorry, I'm late." Kobori said with an apologetic smile. There was a rather big wrapped package that he showed to the other two as he entered the room. "Mom made us some food to commemorate Yuki's return to school. Some leftovers curry and tempura, enough for us three." He grinned toothily.

Moriyama's eyes sparkled at the offer. "Mrs. Kobori is the best ~" He waltzed off to Kobori, sniffing the package instead while the taller man tried to take it away from him.

"Jeez, Yoshi, down boy. You'll get your portion sooner or later." Kobori laughed anyway.

Kasamatsu smiled at the two, somewhat relieved the attention was taken away by Moriyama's antics. "Hey, Koji." He walked up to the other two, keeping a little distance.

"Hi, Yuki. How are you?" Koji gave him a gentle smile. "My mom asked about you."

"I'm recovering. I feel better today." More or less.

"Great. Should we go to the rooftop to eat? Most of the guys are probably still fighting down at the cafeteria."

"Oh, my hero. We don't have to beg for sandwiches, Yuki!" Moriyama grinned widely.

"Careful, Yoshi, you might ruin your svelte figure." Kasamatsu drawled teasingly.

Moriyama gasped. "Wait… do you think I'm getting fat!? Seriously!?" He looked mortified. Yukio guessed Moriyama hadn't been working out as much as he did when they were still active in the club.

Kobori sighed. "You look the same like always, Yoshi. Come on." He ushered them out of the class.

They went up the stairs to reach the rooftops where students go to eat their lunch under the open sky. The weather was warm enough for them to enjoy the wind, and it was a sunny day… As soon as they arrived, he was greeted by the warm sun and the slightly chilly wind. A few of other students occupied a few spots here and there with their own lunches. Mostly Third years he recognised, and who recognised the trio as well.

They took one of the sunnier spots, sitting in a circle. Kobori put the package in the middle, then slowly unveiled the three-tiered lunchbox. He distributed them evenly. The inside were identical; white rice with a pickled plum on the sides, pork curry and some vegetable tempura as sides. It looked appetising.

"Oh wow ~ It looks great! Hmm, smells yummy!" Moriyama salivated at the sight, eyes glistening. "I could kiss your mom right now, Koji!"

"Stay away from my mom, Yoshi." Koji gave him a warning look.

"You know that's not going to stop him." Kasamatsu chuckled, taking a bite of the curry. He smiled. "It's delicious. Tell your mom I said thank you."

"My mom will be happy to hear that." Kobori smiled back. He reached for Kasamatsu's shoulder, patting him. "Eat up. There's plenty more."

The portion was a little more than what he usually ate, yet the friendly chatter and the sunny, crisp weather helped him feel hungrier. Kasamatsu ate more, as the three talked and joked and laughed, just like how they always were. He was relaxed and his belly was full. He didn't feel the nausea or the stress as much anymore… for the moment he could feel like he was the old Kasamatsu Yukio.

"So Kise's on a job? That was quick, I mean, after the scandal and all, it hasn't been that long though?" Moriyama raised the topic after they finished eating.

Kasamatsu thought about that too. "I don't know… he didn't mention he's accepting jobs again. I thought he's been laying low for a while." He noticed Kise had been acting a little oddly lately, but he thought it was because of something else, like the media that was still hounding him.

His feelings told him it had something to do with the pregnancy. The hospital bills that Kise refused to show him… Kasamatsu frowned.

"He has his reasons, I guess." Kobori gathered the empty lunch boxes, then wrapped them up again.

There were still some fifteen minutes left until lunch was over, some of the other students already started leaving the rooftop. The sun was warm and the breeze was cool. It was a bright day with a clear blue sky. Kasamatsu wondered if he should use this chance to explain? He wouldn't be able to hide it forever, and he didn't want to have to lie again. He wanted to be honest, for once.

"… I have something to tell you two." He murmured as he watched more of the third years leaving the area. There were none near the trio, some probably were still around at the opposite corners. Moriyama was drinking his canned tea while Kobori was tying the cloth of the package, creating a small ribbon on top.

“Hmm? What is it?” Kobori lifted his gaze with a smile. Moriyama turned to him, his throat constricted as he drank.

Yukio close his eyes and drew in a deep, deep breath. He felt unusually calm.

"I'm pregnant."

There was a heavy pause in the following second. The wind blew and brushed against his hair. Yukio's gaze lowered, his hand went to rub his belly that had yet to show at all. One month. He'd been carrying a baby inside him for almost one month. It didn't feel real.

Then he heard Moriyama ungracefully choked on his tea, his face became red as he coughed violently (his nose spurted out the tea), while Kobori's face turned as white as the sheets, his big hands shaking hard like blown leaves. He looked anaemic.

After a coughing fit, Moriyama managed to gather himself. "Wh-what!? What did you say, Yuki-chan!?" His face was still red. "Y- you're pregna — " He wasn't able to finish his sentence because Kobori's shaking hand had slapped onto Moriyama's mouth and nose. His face was pale but his expression serious.

"Is… is that true? Are you sure?" He asked, voice grim. Moriyama was making incoherent noises.

Kasamatsu nonchalantly nodded. "Yeah. I went to the doctor to confirm it. It's about one month old."

Kobori turned stiff, his expression hardened and he clenched his jaw. Moriyama broke out of the hold, panting, his eyes were wide. "Y-Yuki? Is it… is it Kise's…?" He hesitated to ask.

He nodded once more. "Yeah, it's his."

"You… didn't tell us you guys were planning to have a kid." Kobori grimly uttered. He looked upset. Betrayed. Unlike the usually friendly Kobori, which made Kasamatsu's chest clench.

While Moriyama was just confused. "Yeah! Why didn't you tell us? Oh my god, this is huge. HUGE, Yuki-chan! I can't believe you didn't tell ME — US! Didn't tell US! Okay. Too much. Too much information right now." The lynx pinched the bridge of his nose, distraught.

Kasamatsu couldn't say anything back to them.

"Did your parents know?" Kobori asked stiffly.

"They know. When they learned about it, they were upset. Understandably. Fuyu and Aki too, they both know." Not the details, though. Kasamatsu didn't want his family to become more hostile towards Kise, by knowing the truth.

"You didn't tell them too?" Kobori raised an eyebrow. "You told your brothers before or after… this happened?"

"After."

"Yuki-chan." Moriyama finally calmed down considerably. Now he was peering into Kasamatsu's face closely. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes shifted to feline's eyes. "Something's wrong. It's not like you at all that you didn't even tell your family, or us about this… big plan. Why? What happened?" His grey-golden eyes with the vertical pupils looked at him in the eyes, as if seeing through him. His nose twitched, sniffing.

Kasamatsu pushed him off. He breathed in, deeply. "I can't explain to you right now." He shook his head, eyes avoiding Moriyama's. "So don't ask me… please. Not yet."

"Yuki-chan…" Moriyama's ears dropped. He looked disappointed.

Kobori frowned. "Yoshi's right, isn't he? You're hiding something, Yuki."

"Don't ask!" Kasamatsu snarled without thinking. He realised what he did, he withdrew. "I'm not ready to tell you beyond this, okay? Just don't."

Moriyama and Kobori exchanged looks. They looked suspicious and worried, mostly worried. Kasamatsu felt bad for not telling the truth, but he needed to thread carefully. "If you say so…" Kobori scratched his head. "Sorry if I sounded pushy. You probably don't need that. You just got better too… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stress you out."

"It's… okay. It's not your fault. I understand the curiosity." Kasamatsu sighed.

Moriyama scooted closer to him. He started purring. "… so that's why I felt like you're in pain, Yuki." He wrapped his arms around Kasamatsu. The latter didn't try to push him away this time. He could hear Moriyama purring softly, and it was honestly… pleasant.

"You did?" He was skeptical.

"Don't be skeptical. It's a feline thing, okay. We can sense pain and whatnot." Moriyama groused. "We have the sixth sense!"

Kasamatsu was still skeptical anyway… he accepted the hug anyway. He reached up to pat Moriyama's head. "…thanks, Yoshi." He whispered with a smile.

Kobori looked at his friends, the crease in between his eyebrows receded. "I can't believe this is happening right now. You, having a baby with Kise. I thought you were planning to go to the university, with us." He shook his head. "You're already accepted for the new semester… what are you going to do with it?"

"Postpone it. I… well, if things go well, I'll join in next year." Although Kasamatsu wasn't sure if he could go to university at all, really. With a baby who still needed his undivided attention… could he even afford it? He would need to make some sort of plan.

"Yuki…" Moriyama held him tighter. "I know we can't always help out, like, financially or something, but we'll always support you. You'll only have to call me and I'll come over in a jiffy!"

"Thanks, Yoshi." He stroked Moriyama's smooth black hair. The latter purred softly.

Kobori smiled at the two. At the same time, he looked worried. Troubled. Kasamatsu was going to graduate soon, while Kise was young and he was still in highschool. He knew that would create a myriad of problems on its own. Kobori must've realised it. How… uncharacteristic of Kasamatsu to choose this kind of path. Too much risks. Too many problems. Too… young.

"If you need anything. Just call us, Yuki." Kobori told him. "Don't hide it by yourself, okay? We can't do much right now, but at least we can give you moral support." Moriyama nodded vigorously. Kasamatsu smiled, although there wasn't much they could do — even Kasamatsu himself — he appreciated the gesture.

Lunch time was over before they knew it, they went back to their own classes. Moriyama stuck close to Kasamatsu all the way back to their class, acting closer than he knew what was up. Kasamatsu didn't mind it much because Moriyama was more intrusive than Kobori, who always kept a respectable distance. They had different ways of showing their concern. Which was fine for him. They'd known each other for years, the affection was platonic.

Unfortunately, other people didn't always look at it that way.

As they passed the corridor junction to go to the chemistry labroom for the next class, they saw a bunch of First Years in the halls. They gave Moriyama and Kasamatsu disapproving glances, whispering to each other.

"… who does he think he is?" One girl whispered a little loudly. The kind of whispers that caught people's attention. "And while Kise-kun's away too!" She added with a huff.

"I know! Shameless." Another girl jeered. " _What a slut!"_

Kasamatsu caught Moriyama's hand.

He held it tightly as he tugged him forward. His eyes were kept straight. They kept walking. Kasamatsu pretended he didn't hear anything. Moriyama seemed annoyed, although he didn't say much because Kasamatsu passive aggressively prevented him from doing so. Moriyama had always been kind to girls… which made it harder for him to scold them anyway.

"What the hell does Kise-kun see in that Light Seed?" Another girl huffed annoyedly. "Look at him, parading around with another guy."

"He must've forced himself on Kise-kun! Why else would Kise-kun wants some  _whore_  Light Seed!" Her friend insisted.

"Yeah! Why else!"

His ears were burning with the rising anger. Kasamatsu didn't act on it. He wasn't going to be upset over a bunch of fangirls sneering at him. Kise's fans… how typical of them, gossiping about people who Kise dated. He wouldn't fall for their behavior. Kasamatsu had never cheated on Kise and Kise knew he was loyal. That was enough for him. It was enough. He wouldn't be riled up over something so trivial.

"Hey, First Years! What are you doing!? Lunch time's over a minute ago! Go back to your classes!" A familiar voice barked at the girls, who in turn, squealed at the loud command and scuttled off at once.

Kasamatsu stopped. He looked towards the source of the voice and saw someone familiar at the other side of the hall. "Batou."

Batou, the Tenis Club senior he knew, smiled and waved at him. He didn't say anything else as he turned away, walking to the opposite direction. "… thanks." Kasamatsu whispered. He turned the other way.

"That's Batou, right? He handled those bitchy girls nicely." Moriyama groused. He was upset but he didn't like the idea of having to scold girls…

"Yeah. I'll thank him properly later." Kasamatsu nodded. He was grateful with the gesture.

Batou had always treated him well, despite being of higher Seed. He tried not to let the girls' words get to him. As difficult as it was given he was under a lot of stress, yet he had to. He knew dating Kise had its own ups and downs, this was just a part of it. After all, the blonde was a popular model, on top of being a wolf. He understood the consequences of dating someone so popular and loved.

The consequences of loving someone out of his league, came with its own brand of pain.

"Yuki…" Moriyama hesitated. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Kasamatsu replied sharply.

He acted as calmly as possible. He tried to be indifferent. So many things were against them, from the very beginning. So many, too many. From the moment they first met, the day Kise first kissed him, to the day they started dating. To this very moment, after the betrayal and the hurt and the hardships. And yet…

… and yet he was never able to stop loving Kise Ryouta.

That was his first error.

Yukio could've stopped it. He could've stopped this from the beginning. He could've refused to acknowledge Kise's feelings. He could've ignored his own feelings. It could've ended before it began. But he couldn't. The first time Kise kissed him, he was already started falling — even if he didn't want to admit it — the first time they held hands, or when they spent time in the club, when he tutored Kise for his grades… everything.

He couldn't stop, from the moment it began … everything changed.

—

It was an exhausting day.

Shooting went smoothly, but it took them almost all day to wrap up. They wanted a scene in the morning, at noon and at dusk during sun down. After that, they went back to Tokyo for the photoshoot. Kise was exhausted. He kept a professional smile on even so, although all he wanted to do was crash in the bed and sleep — preferably sleeping with Kasamatsu in his bed, but then it wasn't the weekends. He wasn't happy about that.

By the time the photoshoot was half way done, there was still the interview squeezed in between fifteen minutes break. He had his makeup redid, his hair styled and clothes straightened out for the interview so he looked fresh as the beach breeze he'd gotten sick of earlier that day.

"You're as handsome as you look on the billboard!" The excitable reporter complimented him and sighed dreamily. She was a… Middle Seed, Kise sniffed slightly. He could expect questions related to his wolf upbringing.

"Thank you. I like the skirt you're wearing today. It's super cute." The blonde complimented her, breaking the ice. The manager gave him a thumbs up from behind the reporter.

So the interview went on. She asked general questions at first like his birthday or favourite foods, to a bit more personal, like what he does for a hobby. He told her he was doing basketball. She got excited about the stories of the tournaments. It was fine. Then she started asking about the case, which Kise was less keen on telling. He avoided answering most of the questions, citing it was the cops who told him not to give out sensitive information.

Kise kept the answers to very minimum exposure. He told her how he felt during the incident and how it was horrible, but he refrained telling her details, which made her frustrated. "I'm sorry… I seriously can't tell you anymore." He winked at her in an attempt to rectify the mood.

"I guess it can't be helped." She pouted.

The fifteen minutes of interview was almost up. Kise's manager already started speaking with the makeup artist to fix the makeup for the next scene, then to the wardrobe assistant to bring in the clothes. The interviewer seemed aware with the pace of the studio picking up.

"Okay, then the last question!" She looked up from her laptop with a sweet smile. "Does Kise Ryouta have a stable partner?"

Kise expected the question, but he hadn't decided on the answer. "Um… well, I wonder about that." He tried to laugh it off.

"Come on! Tell us! I'm sure there are thousands of girls who'd like to know." She insisted. "We need to know!"

Kise swallowed slightly. He knew what kind of answer he must say. A playful "No, I'm single!" followed by a hearty chuckle and everyone would be satisfied with that single answer. He knew he had a lot of fans, as a model and as a wolf, most of them were teenage girls. If he was attached, he'd lose his fan base and that was bad for business. If his popularity declined, he could possibly screw up his chances to getting more jobs in the future.

He glanced at the manager, who was watching the interview process like a hawk, listening to every question and every answer. Her eyes looked straight to his, coldly telling him to just use the pre-prepared answer. Like usual.

Kise took in a deep breath.

_They needed a lot of money._

He loved Kasamatsu. Kasamatsu knew Kise loved him. That was enough, right? His mind tried to justify the action. He used to be able to answer this kind of question easily, but somehow now it was different. Now it felt wrong. Lying for money. For popularity. Everyone in this business did so often, he should be able to do it to. This… this wasn't only for him. This was for Kasamatsu too… for their kid.

Even though he knew it was wrong. It would inevitably hurt someone again. How… how much more of this he must do? It never ended. Again and again and again. He never wanted to hurt anyone, but he did. And he would do it again, whether he intended it or not.

Kise forced a charming smile on his face. With a beautiful smile and a calm, steady voice he told the lie.

"No, I don't have a partner."

Then he chuckled. A hearty, cheerful laughter, that left a bitter taste in the back of his throat. His chest grew cold with a numbness that pierced him like a thousand needles.

 

—

TBC.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's always sunny after the storm.


	7. Selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Holy shit, it's been 6 months since I updated it? Sorry guise. Real Life stuff going on. ( -_- ) Also need to get used to writing after a long hiatus. Grawr.

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 6 : Selfish

—

Kise couldn't wait to see Kasamatsu.

The day after the interview, he went to school early because Kasamatsu would be there. He'd called the night before, because he had planned to drop by his house to pick up Kasamatsu to school, but — that wasn't a very clever idea, since one of Kasamatsu's siblings (or god forbid, both of them) would be there. The eldest brother told him to wait at school instead.

So he did, despite the lack of sleep and the exhaustion from the whole day of work before, Kise arrived in school at five in the morning. The security hadn't even opened the gates yet. The coast was cleared off the paparazzi. He ended up using the back door where club members would come early for practice. Kise skipped the morning practice again.

Kasamatsu and Hayakawa wouldn't be happy about it.

But he couldn't help it, because otherwise Kise wouldn't be able to spend much time with Kasamatsu. There were classes, club activities and his jobs. There was barely time for them to be together. He didn't want that. So Kise decided he'd go to the third year's hall and waited for Kasamatsu in front of the senior's classroom.

As he waited in the comfort silence of the empty school corridors, Kise used his cellphone to check his bank account. The payment should have been transferred by then, as per his request to his agency. It was just something he did to relief the tension of stress. Kise's thumbs scrolled down, signed into the internet account and saw the numbers. The total payments had been cut by the agency for other costs, but it was still a substantial amount.

Kise heaved a sigh of relief. They could last for a few more months, he thought. But honestly, they needed a bigger place to accommodate two and more people… he bit his lips. How much money would they need to spend for the extra essentials? Rent, food and hospital bills were a priority, but there were other things as well when the baby arrived.

He toyed with his phone a bit. Kise hadn't told his family … he honestly wasn't looking forward to it. He feared it.

"I'm … a coward." He murmured, jaw clenched.

To think Kasamatsu was the one who told his family straight away that he was pregnant, he had a lot more guts than Kise was. He was too — he cared too much for appearances, how he looked in the public eye. He wondered if that made him a coward, being unable to confess his own mistake to his own sisters. No, not mistake. He mentally berated himself.

"I have to do it. I have to tell." He said to himself, lips tightened into a line.

Kise Ryouta resolved to tell his sisters, at least. He must. Telling his parents could be pushed to a latter date. They would be far more difficult to deal with. Kise just couldn't afford to upset them right now. They might do something that would make things worse. His sisters… they might actually be more helpful to the situation as they were older, especially Rina.

Rina would know what to do. She had a child and she married into a wealthy family of Heavy Seeds. She… she would know what to do. She was an adult. She had a family. She'd always been a gentle, kind soul. A good sister. Kise was counting on that.

The wolf inside of him growled, accusing Kise of being incompetent as a mate. The blonde snapped back, telling it to shut up. They weren't living in the wilds, where money didn't exist. They lived in a world where life became progressively more difficult if they were teenagers with no job qualifications, no money and a baby on the way.

Funny how he was the start of it all. A misguided attempt to make his lover stay with him, it backfired viciously.

But still, he fought for it. Not only because of the guilt, but because he had to live through the choices he made. Because he loved Kasamatsu. Because he wanted him so much.

"Kise."

The blonde looked up when he heard his name being called. His expression lit up when he saw Kasamatsu in the halls, the darkness dissipated for a moment, replaced by a flourish of warmth sprouting from within his chest.

"Senpai." He ran up to the older boy, arms spread to take him into his hold. Kise sniffed the dark hair, missing the scent so much. He noted that the scent had somehow changed. "I missed you. Sorry I was busy yesterday. How are you?" He withdrew to look at Kasamatsu, hands cradling his face.

Kasamatsu looked tired. Kise wilted a bit when he saw the dark circles beneath his eyes. "I'm okay. Just… a little nauseous." He told the blonde, shrugging. "But otherwise, it's … normal."

His instinct told him that Kasamatsu wasn't telling the truth. But he didn't mention it, it wasn't the right time.

"I'm sorry I left you alone. I should've been there for you, when you need me." Kise bumped his forehead onto Kasamatsu's. He felt guilty. Deeply guilty. "Should we… should we go home? If you need rest, I think we should. We can go back to my place. I'll be with you. I don't have to work today." Although that meant he'd skip school and the club again. Kasamatsu wouldn't likely to approve.

Kasamatsu looked at him — he didn't answer immediately, for once, he looked unsure. His gaze darted off.

"We're not supposed to skip school." He said, but Kise caught that bit of uncertainty, implied in his tone.

"But you're not feeling well, right?" Kise insisted. "Please, if you don't feel like it, you don't have to push yourself. It's bad for your health. It's… it's bad for the baby." He whispered the last sentence, just in case.

Kasamatsu visibly tensed up. He quickly pressed a hand on Kise's mouth. "Don't say it." He growled, angry.

Kise stepped back. "S-sorry."

The senior wasn't happy about it, even though the school was still pretty empty. He looked away. "… But I guess you're right." He whispered. "I don't feel … like going to school lately."

Kise jumped at that.

"Should we go? It's okay to be selfish sometimes, senpai. Plus, you're not feeling well." He tried to persuade Kasamatsu.

"You're too enthusiastic about this. You skipped school yesterday. And the club too." Kasamatsu scowled.

"Uh, don't worry about that, okay? I'll study harder next time." Except he wouldn't. Kise hated studying.

"I hardly believe you'd live up to that promise." Kasamatsu bluntly said.

But of course Kise couldn't fool his own mentor.

It took him a bit more persuading for Kasamatsu to finally say yes. He was after all, looked unwell. A bit pale, most likely from the morning sickness. Kise wished Kasamatsu could just take the rest of the month to deal with the pregnancy, but there was no chance Kasamatsu would agree to that.

Because Kasamatsu loved Kaijou. He wanted to stay for as long as he could. He'd check out what the team was doing, he'd spend time with Moriyama and Kobori… and he would meet Kise at school, too. There were too many memories to reminiscent, when he finally graduated.

Once he agreed, Kise led him to the back door of the school. They were holding hands. Kasamatsu's eyes strayed towards the gym door as they did, where the basketball club was practicing.

"Promise me you'll go back to club practice." He murmured when they walked past the gates.

Kise swallowed. He couldn't say no, and if he didn't keep his promise — Kasamatsu would be sad. "I promise." He said, quietly.

Kasamatsu nodded. He squeezed Kise's hand.

Kise turned up his bestial senses to check the perimeter, sniffing the air incessantly with his wolf ears perking, listening. He didn't detect oddities, not a sudden snap of a camera, or the whirls of a machine in the nearby radius.

He stopped when he did hear something; A woman, speaking to a man, using the media jargons. Kise gritted his teeth and listened again, trying to pinpoint the location. A bit farther to the left. He peeked his head out of the gate to spot the tail end of a van. It could be a news fan. He'd expected the media's reaction would intensify once they knew Kise was more willing to indulge.

 _Shit_. They had to move  _quickly_.

"Over here." Kise tugged Kasamatsu to head to the right.

He was still sniffing and listening. It was harder in an open area, but he would know if they were close enough. Thus every time he spotted anomaly with his elevated senses, he went the opposite way. Until they arrived in the neighbourhood children's park, finally away from threat. He chose a spot where the trees hid them from open view.

"Are you okay?" Kise asked Kasamatsu, heaving the chilly wind. He stood a little closer in case the latter felt cold.

Kasamatsu shrugged. "I'm alright, are you?" He reached up to brush Kise's hair.

The blonde leaned to the touch. "I'm okay if you're okay." He said. "Sorry, it's because… I gave an interview yesterday. I think that's why there are reporters so early today."

Kasamatsu stared at him. "You gave an interview." He said, voice flat. "You're taking jobs again. I thought you were laying low for a while."

"Yeah, I… it can't be helped. Senpai, we… we need to talk about something." Kise chewed the insides of his cheeks.

Honestly, he would really like to be able to tell Kasamatsu they didn't have anything to worry about, but this…. this was something they needed to talk about. This very, very real problem they had.

"Is it about the hospital bills?" Kasamatsu took a guess before Kise could tell him. He frowned. "Don't look at me like that, you're not as subtle as you think you are."

Kise swallowed. "I guess not, huh?" He raked his hair anxiously. "I need to take more jobs, I… this is for us. I don't have a choice. The hospital bills… it's more that I thought it would be — and with everything else, like the rent, and the baby stuff — I don't know what else to do."

He was biting his lips so hard he could taste blood.

"Stop." Kasamatsu put his hand on Kise's mouth, forcefully prying it open. "We can talk about it at your place. Calm down."

Kise didn't realise he was biting down, or that he was sweating, his palms damp. "Sorry, I — " He blurted out too quickly. Kasamatsu clamped his hand over his mouth.

"Sshhh. It's okay." The older boy said. "Let's go to your place."

Kise looked at him. He could only nod, because it wasn't the place to do this sort of thing. He ended up calling for a cab to pick them up. He purposely wore a pair of glasses and a mask to cover his face, just in case.

In the car, the blonde looked at Kasamatsu, observing quietly. The ride was mostly silent, allowing him the chance to cool down and gather his thoughts on what he wanted to tell Kasamatsu later on.

He had expected that Kasamatsu would react differently.

Worse, maybe. He couldn't really tell. Kasamatsu was hard to read, he could never tell what he was thinking about. Maybe he thought Kise wasn't reliable. That after all, he wasn't a good mate — wasn't a good enough Alpha. It made his wolf growl, vicious, blaming the human. Blaming Kise Ryouta, for not being strong enough.

He wasn't strong enough.

"Kise." Kasamatsu said, earning his attention. His gaze was met with a stern pair of slate blue eyes. "You're turning." The older boy told him.

Kise looked down — he saw his claws were out, creating red crescent marks on the surface of his palms. The tips were tinted in red. He blinked. He didn't feel anything, it didn't hurt.

"Sorry, I didn't realise." He retracted the claws, slightly confused.

Kise could feel Kasamatsu's eyes on him. "No… it's okay." The latter said. He put his hand on top of Kise's. "Don't worry too much. Calm down. It's going to be okay." His voice was gentle, soothing.

But it made Kise even more frustrated. Because of course he would require Kasamatsu to calm him, because of course he'd be over emotional, sensitive and anxious. Even though Kasamatsu was taking the brunt of it, worse than he did.

It made him realise just how incompetent he really was. How stupid, and arrogant, and childish he was. How he wished he was a better man. A better mate. One who could actually protect his mate and his cub.

"I'm okay. Just a bit nervous." Kise forced a smile. He patted Kasamatsu's hand, brought it up to kiss the knuckles. "Thanks. Sorry I made you worry, Senpai."

"… don't think too much." Kasamatsu squeezed his hand. This time, it made Kise felt better.

"I won't, Senpai." He smiled. He hoped it didn't look unconvincing, weak. He didn't want to seem weak — the worst side of him, to show it to the person he loved, his pregnant mate.

They held hands until they reached Kise's apartment. He had a feeling it was because Kasamatsu thought Kise needed it, instead of vice versa. It bothered him.

They arrived at his apartment some fifteen minutes later.

Kise led Kasamatsu into the apartment. He had him sat on the couch, while Kise went to grab a some drinks for Kasamatsu.

He came a short while later with a glass of milk and a bottle of water. Kasamatsu raised an eyebrow at the glass of milk.

"Milk? Really?" He lifted the glass, staring at the ivory liquid behind the glass surface.

"I don't have food in the fridge." Kise sat next to him, resting his head onto the sofa. He was staring at Kasamatsu quietly.

"Oh." Kasamatsu paused for a second, before he sipped the milk. He drank it slowly, a few gulps, before putting it down. Then he wiped his mouth.

Kise idly reached to Kasamatsu's hand, fiddling with his fingers. "Senpai." He called out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the interview."

Kasamatsu looked to him. He reclined his back against the couch, slumping down a little. "If it makes you feel better, you can start by telling me why you feel guilty about it."

"… am I that transparent?" Kise's lips twitched a little. He clasped Kasamatsu's fingers in his.

The older boy shrugged. "You're not good at hiding your emotions."

"I guess not, huh…" A soft chuckle. A bitter one. Kise was quiet. "You're right. About the… hospital bills. It's, um, it's really expensive. I… I admit I don't think I can afford it if I don't work. But, even with working… I still have the school and the club."

His gaze lowered to their entwined fingers.

"I thought I screwed up big time. I'm just going to make it worse. I'm going to screw up again. And then I'd lose you. For real. So — so I decided to call my agency. The interview… it paid a lot. I couldn't resist."

But he regretted it. He didn't regret the decision to do it, but he regretted lying.

"I see." Kasamatsu nodded once. "I guess it can't be helped. I… I was thinking if I should get a job after I graduate. It will help with the finances issues." He looked at Kise. "Don't tell me I shouldn't, because you're not the only one who wants this to work."

Kise's lips tightened. He couldn't say anything. "I know. But… but I feel like I should be able to at least provide for you. I caused this, so, so I should be able to make you feel safe. Not otherwise, and definitely not worse! I just… I just feel like a failure. I failed you."

He didn't dare to look into Kasamatsu's eyes. His grip on Kasamatsu never ceased. "I love you. I really, really love you. But I'm not strong enough to protect you or our cub. How pathetic is that?"

Kise let out a weak laugh.

"So much for being an Alpha Wolf. In the end, I'm nothing but a kid trying to play with something beyond my capability. I hurt you." He shakily said. "I hurt you so many times. I lied and hurt you, and I fo — forced — " He swallowed.

Before he knew it, Kise felt a sharp pain in his forehead that startled him. "Ow! What the?" He looked up in shock, and saw Kasamatsu was holding a hand before his face. Kise blinked.

He'd been flicked in between the eyes. The spot tingled with heat.

"You panic too fast. Do you know that?" Kasamatsu said, his hand fell to his side. "But I guess that's just how you are. You're easy to read. An open book." He smiled, almost fondly.

Kise was kind of struck, there. He blinked. "Senpai…?"

"If you realised that you're not perfect and that not everything will go your way, then that means you're growing up." Kasamatsu drew a long breath.

"But what you said; Yes, it's true. It's not going to be easy. This is a difficult path, with no light at the end of the tunnel. At least not now, I can't see it. But that doesn't mean you should give up either." He paused.

"You thought you've failed… does that mean you're going to give up on me?" He turned to Kise and looked at him in the eyes. Steady and calm. Like the Captain. The Kaijou Captain.

Kise felt a lump in his throat, but he forced it out. He must.

"N-no! That's not what I meant! I'd never give up on you!" He lunged forward, panic overcame him. Kasamatsu misunderstood. He didn't mean it that way. He didn't mean to sound like he was giving up. No. Never!

Kasamatsu's eyes lowered slightly. "We don't know what's going to happen in the future. It's best not to promise anything for certain… I mean, there's a chance that I might not survive the childbirth at all."

Kise felt his blood run cold.

"Wh-why do you say that?" His voice shook. He hadn't… hadn't thought of that possibility. It didn't cross his mind.

Kasamatsu stared off into the empty space, his hand idly rubbed his belly.

"Even natural birth has complications, right? I'm not saying that my family has some sort of hereditary illnesses, but … what I'm trying to say is, it's not impossible. It's a common risk with every pregnancy." He said with a calm voice.

"If what the doctor said is to be believed, then the mortality rates are higher in my case. I'm a guy."

_Abort it._

That was the first thing that came to Kise's mind. But he couldn't muster up the courage to actually say it. He couldn't. But if he was going to lose Kasamatsu because of it. No. No, Kise would rather be hated, than to lose Kasamatsu forever. He couldn't imagine it.

"Senpai — "

But Kasamatsu cut him off. "If there comes a time in the future, when you have to choose between me or the cub … I want you to choose the cub." He looked at Kise in eyes.

Kasamatsu was serious.

Kise felt as if a massive weight had been dropped on top of him, and he was crushed underneath.

"No." Kise said, too quickly. His voice trembled. He sweated cold. "You can't do that to me. You — you can't make me choose." He shook his head, repeatedly. He felt his limbs were growing numb. His heart was growing numb.

He hated it. He hated the way Kasamatsu look at him calmly, detached. As if he wasn't suggesting something abominable — something that would break him apart. His heart and mind.

" … it's your child, Kise. It's our child." Kasamatsu murmured. "An innocent life."

He didn't care.

He didn't care if it was an innocent life if he had to lose Kasamatsu over it. Kise knew it was an awfully selfish thing to think of, a terrible thought that he would rather the child not to survive than to lose his beloved mate. If he was a fucking horrible human being, then so be it. He refused to lose Kasamatsu.

What would become of a Wolf who had lost its mate?

He couldn't say anything. Kise pulled Kasamatsu into his arms, holding him close — he was afraid to lose him. The fear that numbed everything else.

"I can't lose you." He whispered harshly, his breathing short. "I can't — don't leave me. Please." He held onto Kasamatsu like a child. "I'll do anything. Please… don't say such a thing." He choked up.

"Kise." Kasamatsu called him, he rubbed his back soothingly. "Kise, I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes were wet. Kise couldn't stop the tears. "I love you." He said, as if that would make anything better. It didn't. It wouldn't make any difference. He knew that, but he kept saying it anyway. He held onto it.

"I love you so much. I can't lose you. I swear… I swear I'll do anything." He sobbed, shoulders trembling.

Kasamatsu was quiet. He pushed Kise gently to look at him, his thumb brushing Kise's tears off. "I know you will." He smiled. It was a sort of sad, weak smile that made Kise felt powerless.

He just wanted to be happy. He wanted Kasamatsu to be happy too. But he fucked up. Kise fucked up and they ended up in this situation, these horrible, horrible situations.

Beads of tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I won't give up." He sobbed, closing their distance until their foreheads touched. "I won't give up until I make everything right again. I swear. I swear, so… so don't say you're going to make me choose. Don't say you're going to leave."

"Okay. Okay, I won't. I believe you." Kasamatsu said. He patted his back soothingly. "I believe you."

It was pathetic. He spent a good amount of time clinging to Kasamatsu like a child to his mother. He was afraid that if he let go, the worst would happen. That he would lose Kasamatsu. That he would be forced to choose. He couldn't do it.

"We can't skip school too often." Kasamatsu said as he stroked Kise's hair.

He'd calmed down somewhat. Now they were relaxing in the couch, Kise's head was resting on Kasamatsu's lap. His eyes were slightly red and puffy. He glanced at the clock on the wall. The fourth period was still going at school. It would be lunch time soon.

"I guess not." The blonde stared his mate. "I can't skip club practice too often either…"

He was still on scholarship, after all. The next tournament … he didn't have time to think about that. His head was filled with Kasamatsu and their future life. How he would get enough money to support Kasamatsu's medical treatments, among other things? He had to work. But balancing it with school and club was difficult.

"You can't. Hayakawa's going mad if you keep this up." Kasamatsu pinched Kise's cheek a bit. "Don't play truant. You have to study so you can enter the tournaments."

"I know." Kise looked at Kasamatsu. "I'm thinking of working on weekends too, so… would you wait for me here? I'll make sure I'll come back in the evening. I want to see you."

Because they had so few chances to spend time together, with everything. School, club and work… Kasamatsu's family hating him didn't help.

The older boy nodded. "Alright. I have the spare keys."

"… I might have to work with a lot of models…" Which meant their scents would stick to Kise. It would be hard to avoid. "In interviews, I have to say that I'm single."

Kasamatsu drew a long, deep breath at that. "I know. You need to keep up appearances for the public and your fans."

Kise observed Kasamatsu. He was hard to read, as usual. He wanted Kasamatsu to understand, just how important he was to Kise.

"You're the only mate I have. You'll always be the only one. Now, and until I die."

Kasamatsu's hand stopped for a moment. He looked at Kise, wide-eyed. "What… are you talking about?" He didn't seem to believe Kise.

But that wasn't news, was it?

"It's a wolf thing." Kise said. "Did I ever tell you that wolves mate for life?"

"You did, but you had other mates." Kasamatsu said, sounding off for a second.

Kise stared at the ceilings. "Because I'm half human." He murmured. "I can go against the nature if I wanted. At first."

But he couldn't run away from it. Not after the wolf started to override his instincts as he grew older. It became clearer that it was going to stay active, constantly watching with its beastly eyes.

But even so, the fact he loved Kasamatsu as a human too, it resonated with the wolf's wishes. When the beast and the human counterparts both wanted the same person … then the idea of  _imprinting_  became real. He knew this by instinct.

He could no longer stray.

"Never mind." Kise smiled. "It's nothing."

He closed his eyes, letting himself drift off. It didn't matter now. He felt at peace at that moment, even if it wouldn't last because he wasn't allowed a moment to rest. Soon he would have to face the world again, face a new life.

Kasamatsu didn't say anything. Maybe it was for the best.

—

The next few days, Kise worked hard to stay true to his promises.

He spent the next few days juggling between school and club, on days without club practice, he'd go straight to his agency and worked until late night. Sometimes he didn't come home, instead he slept in hotels because the gigs ended past midnight.

His schedule became even busier with the jobs. He'd go to school in the morning, do club practice, go for classes, do club practice, then if he had time after that, he'd squeeze in a photoshoot or two. With the amount of jobs he took, he was able to scrounge a bit of money to fund the hospital bills and the medicines.

Kise hardly had the time to rest. Neither had he the time to meet Kasamatsu, during the weekdays. They could only spend time on weekend nights when he'd cleared his evenings to go home for his mate.

It was a highly demanding schedule. He was so tired that he'd often fall asleep right after he came home.

One Saturday night, he was going to have dinner and movies with Kasamatsu, but ended up too exhausted to keep his eyes open, so they went to bed earlier.

"Sorry. I'm a bit tired today."

Kise felt guilty as he lay on the bed, his body felt heavy. His muscles ached and his head was pounding. He had a strict training regiment just two days before, and a full day of shooting on Friday. That day he had another photoshoot. He was completely drained.

The hour was still early, 8:20 P.M., the big screen TV was showing Saturday night variety show. He looked at Kasamatsu, who was sitting on the bed next to him, wearing Kise's shirt.

"It can't be helped. You've been working hard." Kasamatsu gave the blonde a soft pat on the head, like praising a little child for a job well done. Kise didn't mind. He liked the gesture.

Kise blushed. He rolled closer until his head was resting on Kasamatsu's lap. He turned to hug his lover's waist, pressing his face against his belly. It didn't feel much different than before. It was still rather flat, but instead of hard abs, he felt soft flesh.

"Do you still have morning sickness?" He asked.

It was another guilt that Kise felt, that he couldn't monitor Kasamatsu condition at all times. They weren't living together, school and club and Kise's jobs kept them in a distance. It was difficult to spend time together.

It was lonely.

"It's been getting better. I still can't eat fish. Or any seafood, really." Kasamatsu said as he stroked Kise's hair, eyes locked to the TV screen.

"… Okay. I heard pregnant people have cravings, I'm wondering if you have any; do you?" He asked. "If there's anything you want, I'll get it for you."

"Hmmm…." Kasamatsu hummed. "I don't think I have cravings, but I guess I eat more white rice these days. Or noodles. Bread too. I just keep eating carbs."

The blonde gave a wolf whistle.

"Wow, that's pretty lowkey craving, Senpai. As expected of you, even your pregnancy craving is frugal — " he was cut off with a swat upside the head, and a hard pinch of the right cheek until the blonde squealed.

Kasamatsu was clearly annoyed. "I'm carrying your kid and that's all you have to say about it!? That I have peasant's tastes!?" He barked, fuming.

"Ow, ow, ow! Sorry! Sorry! I was kidding!" Kise's cheek was flushed from the pinching.

Kasamatsu released him, but was still fuming. Angry. He wondered if it was the mood swings? Pregnant people tended to be more emotional...

"Hey… I was just kidding, okay?" Kise poked Kasamatsu's arm gently. "I mean, it's a good thing you're not craving for anything too expensive given our situation."

"You're unbelievable." Kasamatsu huffed.

Kise's lips twitched into a smile, then he laughed. He pushed himself up to hug Kasamatsu. "I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you." He whispered to his ear. "Tomorrow we have morning practice. Do you want to come along? I know you miss the team."

He thought it would make Kasamatsu happy. To be honest, he wasn't thinking beyond that very intention. But instead, Kasamatsu became stiff in his arms, the moment he suggested it.

"No. I can't." Came a strained rejection. Kise pulled back, surprised, and saw that Kasamatsu was frowning, his gaze averted. "If I go, they might find out. I … don't want too many people to know."

He was talking about his pregnancy.

"Oh… okay. It's… it's okay. We don't have to go, if you don't want to." Kise quickly said. He realised, Kasamatsu's change of scent would give out the truth. He didn't think it through, since he'd become accustomed to it.

Kasamatsu shrugged. He rested his head on Kise's shoulder. "Maybe next time. You still need to go, though." He murmured softly. He sounded distant.

"I will." Kise held him close.

He wished he knew how to make Kasamatsu happier.

So far, Kasamatsu had told his family, then Kobori and Moriyama. He told Kise about it. He'd been using cologne to mask his scent when he went to school — he'd been making sure to put a sufficient distance from other people in case they noticed anything.

Kise figured Kobori and Moriyama were helping him with that. Everyday, one of his brothers would walk Kasamatsu to the school, and would often come to pick him up after classes were over. He was grateful that Kasamatsu was surrounded by good people who protected him when Kise couldn't be around.

But it also frustrated both him and his Wolf counterpart, that he couldn't properly protect Kasamatsu. He couldn't be by his side every day and every hour, every minute, like Kagami did for Kuroko.

He could never really shrug off the depressive thoughts. Something he should work on in his spare time.

It was something he should be proud of, that he was starting to grow up. Be more aware of his responsibilities. Change for the better. He had to go fulfil his obligation as a student, as the team's Ace and as a breadwinner.

He wanted to do better. To be better.

—

One day, he received a call from Kuroko. It came out as a bit of a surprise.

" _Good evening, Kise-kun. How are you?"_

"Kurokocchi?" He gasped as he took the call to the balcony. "Wow, what happened? You don't usually call."

" _Yes, I was thinking that I need to catch up with you and the others."_  Kuroko paused. Kise could hear someone's voice in the background. Sounded like Kagami's boisterous voice, and a woman's soft one in contrast. Kuroko's mom, maybe?

" _Unfortunately, I am unable to do so in person. The situation has become such that I am not allowed to go outside, safe for school and home."_

Kise frowned. "Is it the press?"

"…  _yes. They've recently found out where I live with my parents, thus I am now taking refugee at Taiga-kun's apartment in the mean time. The attention has been inconvenient, to say the least."_

"Wow _."_ Kise gripped the phone tighter.  _"_ That's… it's gone that far? Are you alright? I thought Akashicchi's helping out? What about the Organisation?"

" _I think they are still engaged with the court case. Akashi-kun has helped us by lending a few bodyguards, a car and a driver. I rather think the public's fascination has grown a little out of control at the moment._ "

Kuroko paused again.

" _Perhaps it is also because I am an Arctic Fox._ "

People's fascination for the exotic and the rare, that they'd trespass Kuroko's life for the sake of satisfying their morbid curiosity. It made Kise sick. In the back of his mind, Kise wondered what would happen if the press found out about Kasamatsu … He chewed the insides of his cheeks.

"Are you still going to school?" Kise tried to change the topic. "How about Kagamicchi? Is he okay?"

" _Yes, despite everything, I am still going to school every day. It is a little difficult because they are also constantly present around the area… asking questions to students and teachers. Some of them snuck into the school grounds, hoping to … catch me. I feel bad about it."_

He heard a sigh.

" _Kagami-kun is constantly by my side. He's jealously protective, furious with the breach of privacy. He is planning to sue the reporters… I told him he can't sue every single one of them, however Akashi-kun thought it would serve as a warning to the others. I am still opposed to it._ "

"But you could be hurt, Kurokocchi. They need to back the fuck away from you. The least you can do, is show them you aren't helpless. That they can't breach your territory so easily."

Kise started feeling irritated too. He could relate to Kagami's feelings. If they tried to do that to Kasamatsu when he was still pregnant… he might just lose it. He would make sure nobody touched his mate.

" _Funny that I keep hearing similar advices from Midorima-kun and even Murasakibara-kun. They think I need to 'assert my authority'._ " Kuroko chuckled softly. And then a pause.

" _I have a hard time wrapping the idea in my head, that this is a common practice among the Heavy Seeds. It just seems like they turn to power play, whenever things get difficult._ "

No comment there, Kise thought.

"I get what Kagamicchi's feeling though. It's gotta be hard to know … that he can't control the situation and he can't fully protect you from them." He murmured. "It's hard to swallow."

" _Kise-kun … "_  Another pause.  _"What of Kasamatsu-san? Is he alright? How is he with the pregnancy?"_

Kise didn't reply immediately. He glanced over at Kasamatsu inside the room, now he was putting coasters under the plates. He smiled a bit.

"He's a soldier. Much more of a soldier than I am. It's embarrassing and pathetic, Kurokocchi." He chuckled bitterly. He rubbed his temples.

"I screwed up big time. I don't want to screw up again, or I'm going to lose him, Kurokocchi. We have so many problems — small ones, big ones. The number just keeps increasing every time I thought of how to solve it."

There was a moment of silent there. The wind blew onto his face, chilly.

" _Tell me."_

Kise did.

Once he started, he couldn't stop. He told Kuroko about Kasamatsu family's reaction to the pregnancy, how they disliked Kise and had not accepted their relationship. That Kise was aware of the financial difficulties from the male pregnancy, the hospital bills, the rent, and everything else… it was difficult to deal with.

He hadn't even told his own family yet. He lost the nerves. The only thing he could do was take in more jobs to aide the finances, but that was only one out of a myriad of other problems. It started suffocating him.

Kasamatsu seemed fine, but Kise could tell that with everything going against them, it took a toll on him. Kise feared his health and happiness would deteriorate.

If it hadn't, already.

" _I see. This is a difficult subject, to begin with. I imagine things haven't been easy on you and Kasamatsu-san, with the pregnancy."_  Kuroko said, sounding contemplative.

" _The main problems lie with the lack of financial aide and family support. I think they are the most important kind of support in a time like this, Kise-kun. Do you think you have someone who'd support your relationship? Someone from your side of the family?"_

"I'm going to tell my sisters as soon as possible. My oldest sister, Rina, she's married with a kid. I don't know, I just think she'd be a great help for us. She's a really nice person. She'll like Senpai." He would have to take the trip to Tokyo to visit her. That would take an effort.

" _What about your parents?"_

Kise clenched his jaw.

"The less they know, the better." Kise said, with a strained voice. "I don't want them to get involved. This is my problem." Besides, he didn't need more pressure from them. They were especially good at it.

" _I see. If you say so, then I think it is for the best."_  Kuroko said.  _"Regarding your financial situation, I will try to speak with Akashi-san about it."_

Kise took a deep breath.

"Kurokocchi … I know this might sound ungrateful, but I don't think Senpai wants an outsider to be involved in our problems. I mean, I know if I call Akashicchi to borrow money from him, we'll solve a lot of our problems."

"But it's not for the long run. You know, I can't be lazy and take things for granted. Not anymore. I did and I fucked up, it's why we end up in this kind of situation. I gotta face the consequences. If anything, that's a last resort, after I've exhausted every resource I have." He said.

"I need to repair what's broken with my own hands. Not Akashicchi, not anyone else."

Because he knew Kasamatsu wouldn't want to take advantage of someone else's kindness, if he could help it. And Kise had to prove that he was a good mate. He couldn't depend on someone else for that. Instant gratification wouldn't magically erase the very bases of their issues. Because if he couldn't solve this, then this problem would repeat itself in the future.

" _I understand. I will respect your decision regarding this matter."_  Kuroko said.  _"However, I do think that you need to consult to more than a few people. I think the very least they could do is offer you a good advice. Knowledge and wisdom."_

"Yeah… I'll do that." The blonde smiled. "Thanks, Kurokocchi. You always know the right things to say."

" _You're welcome, although I hardly believe that I'm any wiser than you. You've grown, Kise-kun. You sound more mature than the last time I saw you."_

He laughed.

"I'm still a dumbass." Kise said. "A big fucking dumbass."

" _It's good that you realise that, honestly. I wouldn't have expected such a humble admittance from you until now."_

"I guess…" Kise smiled. "We're all changing."

" _For better or worse, I suppose."_

"… Kurokocchi, take care." Kise said. "If I have the chance, I'll go visit you. I'll tell you a thing or two about the press."

" _I will. Thank you, Kise-kun. Take good care of yourself and Kasamatsu-san as well."_

"I'll see you."

After they ended the call, Kise stayed in the balcony, staring into the dark night sky. A lot of things crossed his mind. Kuroko's situation and his own. Out of everyone's, their lives seemed to change a lot since the Abduction.

A few months back, he wouldn't think things would be this way. He was happy, oblivious and in a normal relationship with Kasamatsu. If he had done it differently, he wondered if things would turn out to be better.

If Kuroko never found out of his true identity, he might have gone on living his life never knowing.

But such was never meant to be.

—

TBC.

—


	8. Endurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So as you can see, I've decided to set the Chapter limit to 15 Chapters for this story. I'll be spitting long chapters as per habit, and if I feel the need to make it a lil' bit longer, I would. Don't think it's gonna be too long tho'.

—

**Wolven Crest**

—

Chapter 7 : Endurance

—

It started with a whisper.

The first one that Kasamatsu heard was months ago, when he and Kise started dating. A faint, soft whisper, almost too small to hear. It came from the lips of a petite brown-haired girl, a First Year, who had been speaking with her friends in the hallways that connected the classroom wing to the cafeteria building. He was walking along the halls, with Moriyama and a few classmates, when his ear caught the whisper spoken with a bitterness he'd never expected to be associated with his lover's name.

" _I heard Kise is dating a Light Seed."_

Upon the mention of the latter's name, Kasamatsu's steps faltered. Upon the second word, 'dating,' he stopped, and the last set of words, 'Light Seed,' he stopped completely. By the time he turned his head around to look, the second whisper was being spoken.

" _That Light Seed must be a whore."_

He stopped breathing. A lump rose up his throat. He looked at those girls with eyes wide, unable to react because he didn't know how. His head spun, thinking they must be talking about another person. Another person who was dating Kise. Because at that time, Kasamatsu was just one among many; Heavy Seeds, Middle Seeds and Light Seeds. Kise must have had a variety of lovers, from different backgrounds, genders and social strata.

It couldn't be that they were talking about  _himself_. About Kasamatsu Yukio.

At least that was what he wanted to believe.

That was before those girls' sight found him, made eye contacts with Kasamatsu — he flinched and took a step back, because Kasamatsu Yukio wasn't good with social interraction with women — the moment he saw their expressions twisted into hatred and disgust, their eyes glared at him with dark bitterness, jealousy and anger, that he learned that indeed, they had been talking about him.

" _Kise's dating a Light Seed whore."_

The third whisper was much more open, louder, no longer a whisper. But a statement, as if it was a fact without truth embedded to it. He didn't think those girls cared about truths, with the determined way it was spoken; with envy and anger. All directed at him.

Up until then, Kasamatsu had been subjected to many rumours.

He was a Light Seed who didn't act like one. He was the Light Seed who climbed up the social ladders, the Light Seed who exceeded expectations, the Light Seed who became the Captain of Kaijou's prestigious basketball club, a respect Senior and one of the best students. He was the Light Seed who was never supposed to be able to go so far — all because all his life, he strived to be more than just a label.

Light Seed. The bottom of the pyramid. The prey animals. The weakest link in the ecosystem.

He hated to lose. He'd always hated losing, hated to be seen as weak, hated that he had a lack of physical advantages that heavier seeds were naturally born with, he hated the stereotype that dictated him to 'be quiet and submit,' live his whole life as if it had been written on the stones the moment he was born a Light Seed.

He had worked hard to be where he was that day. Not without sacrifices. Not without rumours started spreading that he'd used his body to climb to the top, that he'd seduced teachers or coaches or seniors to get what he wanted. He'd squashed those rumours underfoot when he proved his skills on the court, when his grades were always among the top twenty among his peers. Those rumours were baseless, stupid and he had no time to heed them.

At times he was hurt by it, but it didn't matter because he'd only need to keep going. He believed as long as he worked hard, if he proved himself, if he kept going with a clear mind and a clear goal, he could survive. He could put those rumours to rest. He was ambitious, and he was willing to endure the hardships for his ambitions.

However, he wondered why, despite all of the hardships he went through, all the rumours … this one struck him the worst.

Because he loved Kise. He never thought of it as something wrong, or sinful, or undeserving. Neither did he think that it was wrong to date Kise, because Kise reciprocated his feelings. He didn't think the social differences between them mattered. All he did was fall in love.

The whispers didn't stop there.

It escalated. The longer he stayed with Kise and the closer they were, the more others had to say about it. The name calling, the hateful stares, the awful lies they made up, the disrespect … it came to a point where Kasamatsu was forced to turn deaf, to ignore and to numb his nerves to prevent them from getting into his head.

But the whispers just grew louder. More frequent. More hurtful.

Their words cut like a thousand knives. He could do little to stop them, just as he could do little to stop himself from loving Kise. So he put up the mask — the mask of composure — acted like it didn't hurt him. He convinced himself he wasn't going to be affected by trivialities, that he was stronger than a few hateful words — he could take it. Just as he could take being Kise's 'one of many'.

He could  _endure_.

—

It was the next weekend that Kise brought Kasamatsu along for the meeting with his sisters.

Kiss had wanted to go by himself, but Kasamatsu wanted to go with him. Or at least he persuaded Kise that it was better that he was present when Kise told his family, that they were having a child together. It was unnerving and he worried of their reaction to the fact. It was the right thing to do. Kise was present when he confessed to his family. Kasamatsu would do the same for him. It was his turn to show his support.

"Are you sure?" Kise asked him again, for the fifth time on a Saturday morning. Both of them, in Kise's apartment, waiting for the cab to arrive. "You don't have to go. You can stay back, I can do the talking myself — "

"Don't be stupid. Of course I'll go with you." And Kasamatsu would answer the same thing, for the fifth time. He flicked Kise's forehead until the blonde squeaked. "You were there when I told my family." He reminded him.

Kise rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, but then I didn't exactly … do much." He mumbled softly, amber eyes fixated at the floors.

He sighed. "Your presence was enough. I didn't expect you to know how to deal with the aftermath. My family… they are kind of temperamental." To some degree, it had brought him comfort, that Kise had stayed. Kasamatsu had expected the awful reaction, as it would be a natural turn of event. As would every other family if they were told their teenage child was expecting a kid of their own, by accident or not.

" 'Kind of' is putting it mildly." Kise shuddered for a second. "Your brothers and dad are scary. And they look a lot like you, older and younger versions. Which makes it feel weird and intimidating."

Even now, it was awkward between Kise and Kasamatsu's family. The blonde would pick him up from the Kasamatsu household, stayed a while for tea, but never stayed too long because Yukio didn't want him to clash with either his brothers or his father. His mother was the only one who wasn't hostile, Yukio sometimes thought maybe it was because she was charmed by Kise's pretty boy looks and good behaviour. Had the situation be that Kise didn't knock him up, he would have better first impression on his family.

But alas, it wasn't like so.

His hand reached up to pat Kise's head.

"Don't think about it too much." He said. "Focus on the task in hand, like how you'd explain this to your sisters. That needs some work." Kasamatsu rubbed his belly with the other hand. He could feel the hardened muscles from years of basketball training, felt softer now, absent of traces of his previous six packs. He hadn't had any physical exercise and he'd been eating more lately, too. It could have been due to that as well.

"Right. I will… I will." Kise drew a long, sharp breath. Several times. One of the methods to calm his nerves that Kasamatsu told him, as he knew how fast the blonde would panic.

"Good." He praised him for a good job, smoothed over his golden hair.

Kise smiled at him, he took Kasamatsu's hand and squeezed it. "How is it?" He asked. "Do you feel any changes?"

"Not much. I just noticed some changes in my appetite." As time progressed, the tension in his household started mellowing out. His brothers were acting fairly normal, his mother was back to work now that Kasamatsu started going to school again … his father though, he had a feeling his father chose to busy himself with work so he could avoid Yukio as much as possible.

It might not be perfect, but it was acceptable. Things hadn't been the same, his pregnancy strained his relationship with his parents, but otherwise… he was actually grateful that his parents were busy with their jobs again. It had been quiet, less stressful on him. School was more of a challenge now, because he had to do his best to conceal the changes in his scent. and his body He spent the majority of time outside of class in seclusion, often with Moriyama and Kobori. He did his best for the past two weeks, to maintain what mediocrity he could afford in his daily life.

Kise was still busy with school, the club and his part-time jobs as a model. They could barely meet in school, partly out of precaution for rumours and the media attention that once again surrounded Kise, they both knew they couldn't risk anyone learning of Kasamatsu's pregnancy. Some even thought they had broken up, given the very little interaction they shared at school. Kise's fans had started crowding him again whenever the blonde was present.

It was alright, Kasamatsu still spent time with Kise at his place on weekends. They still texted and called each other. It was … sufficient.

Honestly, Kasamatsu didn't know how they could go on with a relationship like this. They had to hide, sneak around and lie to others. It had turned into something foreign to him. As if they stayed together only because of the pregnancy, despite how many times Kise assured he loved Kasamatsu. He couldn't shake off the insecurity, the anxiety.

It was jarring.

"Yukio-san?" Kise lifted his chin, worry written in his eyes. "Are you okay? You suddenly got quiet."

Kasamatsu clenched his jaw and swallowed. "I'm okay. Just thinking, it's going to be two months. I have to go for a checkup."

"Oh, should we book an appointment for next weekend?" Kise asked. His thumb grazed along Kasamatsu's jaw with gentle strokes.

He looked at him, then shook his head. "You told me you'd be busy next Saturday for a photoshoot. I can go myself, maybe with my brothers or… my mom. I won't be alone." He said, preferably his mom, because then they could pretend his mom would have the checkup instead of him. A cover.

Kise frowned, his delicate eyebrows knitted together. "Are you sure?" He asked, sounding cautious.

"Yeah. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." Kasamatsu rubbed Kise's arm. "My mom doesn't work on weekends. She can accompany me."

Kise wasn't convinced for a minute there. It took Kasamatsu assuring him one more time for him to agree reluctantly. "Okay, I'll give you my card for the bills. I wouldn't want your mom to cover for us. I'll take care of it." The blonde said. He sounded more confident when he spoke the last sentence.

It seemed that Kise earned enough to cover the hospital bills for the next month, which was comforting to Kasamatsu. Although he knew, that it didn't cover everything. It was a start. He wondered how much was needed for his treatments? Would he need to tell his parents about it? He doubted they knew anything about male pregnancies. So far, the doctor had given him shots and pills to consume daily. To stimulate the hormones, the doctor said. The dosage would increase over time, so would the numbers of medications. Kasamatsu did his research online regarding the subject, he had some ideas of what to expect next.

So much was needed to maintain a life inside him. It still felt unreal for him, the idea of him being pregnant was akin to a tale from a storybook.

"Oh, the cab's here. Let's go, Yukio-san." Kise said when his phone rang with notification.

He pocketed the cell and picked up the bags for them. His hand held Kasamatsu's as they headed out, locked the door and went downstairs via elevator. Kise wore a beanie, a pair of tinted non-prescription glasses with plain jacket and jeans, presumably for a sort of disguise. He was after all, a popular model. Kasamatsu was acting and looking like himself. Maybe less casual than his usual attire; jeans with a collared shirt and a light blue knitted sweater over it. The sweater was a bit baggy on him, but he preferred to be warm.

They climbed into the backseat of the cab. Kise told the address to the driver, while Kasamatsu buckled up, reclining his back against the seat comfortably and letting his thoughts wander again.

They were going to meet Kise's sisters. Kise specifically told him,  _"We are going to meet my sisters,"_ there was no mention of parents, now that he thought about it. Kise barely ever mentioned his parents to Kasamatsu, thus he knew little about them. Maybe they were busy? Or they weren't in town at the moment? He looked at the blonde, curious. Just as Kasamatsu was about to ask, Kise had spoken ahead of him.

"Oh right, Yukio-san, Kurokocchi said hi." Kise turned to him, grinning. "He called the other day, catching up and stuff. He asked about you."

Kasamatsu decided to leave the question for a latter time.

"How is Kuroko? Is he doing well?" He asked. He hadn't had the chance of catching up with the others since returning home, although news about Kuroko popped out every now and then, although there was not much information on the news. It seemed that Kuroko managed to dodge the media's attention.

Kise scratched his head. "Not really. He said he's staying over at Kagamicchi's, because the paparazzi found out where he lives with his parents. Sounds like a lot of trouble. They've been stalking him everywhere he goes; school, home… he can't go out alone." His hold on Kasamatsu's hand tightened. "We can't afford that kind of stress. Not with you like this." He murmured softly, almost apologetic.

Kasamatsu squeezed back. "I'm alright." He said. "They haven't noticed me."

If they knew that Kasamatsu was expecting Kise's kid, he shuddered to think of what would happen. A media maelstrom was the last thing they both needed. At the moment, they were preoccupied with Kuroko, but Kise had always been a popular model, a public figure and … a wolf. Anything could happen.

"Still. We gotta be careful." Kise took a deep inhale. "We'll think of something, just in case."

Kasamatsu nodded. He understood. They had to think of something in case old tricks became outdated. He knew he couldn't hide the pregnancy forever. And after the baby arrived, what would they do? There were so many questions, yet to be answered. But they were questions for another day. Today, they were going to meet Kise's sisters and tell them about Kasamatsu. That alone was enough to fry the nerves.

Somewhere during the ride, he drifted off and fell asleep on Kise's shoulder, weary from morning sickness. He ate more and vomited more, his stomach refused to hold more than several morsels of food in the morning, no matter how hungry he was. The logic barely made sense to him.

It was over an hour long ride with the traffic. The cab dropped them off at the lobby of an expensive-looking building that stretched up to forty floors.

Kasamatsu was a little drowsy when they arrived. Kise had gently prodded him awake some time ago, despite it, he was still tired. The lobby had its own bellboy, who opened the door for them. When they entered, it struck him as if they were walking into a hotel lobby instead of an apartment. There was a waiting area where several middle aged men sat with their newspapers opened wide, a coffee shop at the corner, a mini mart and a spa/salon establishment. He was slightly puzzled.

Kise led them to the front desk, citing his name and asking for a keycard to a specific floor. He told the receptionist his own name, complete with an I.D. card for verification, while Kasamatsu stood behind him, watching. He'd heard that Kise's sister was married to a wealthy Heavy Seed family, but were they so rich they could afford living in a place like this? As someone who was raised in an average middle class household, this was baffling to him.

"I got the key. Let's go up." Kise grinned at him, with the card key in hand.

He nodded, then followed Kise to the elevator — large, ornate and surrounded with mirrors — Kasamatsu stared at the thousands reflections of the both of them in the elevator, it made him feel somewhat queasy. Maybe he shouldn't have fallen asleep on the cab, should've thought more of what to say to Kise's family. This would be a first time, and he was nervous, intimidated and a little frightened with the imagined reaction to the truth.

He hoped he wouldn't freeze up like he always did when he had to interact with women.

What if they didn't like me? The thought resurfaced again, but Kasamatsu shrugged it off. His brothers weren't fond of Kise either, he reminded himself. As if that thought brought any sort of comfort for him.

"Nervous?" Kise held his hand, tried to smile for Kasamatsu.

He could see that Kise was nervous too. Maybe even more than he was. "Yeah." The senior said. "I guess it can't be helped."

Kise nodded. "I know. Me too. I still don't know what to say, to be honest, but… we'll do it together, right?"

The elevator stopped at the intended floor. Floor 39th. A lot of things ran through his mind at once, he forced himself to settle down the moment the door opened. However, he hadn't quite expected for anyone to have waited on them by the elevator door — a middle aged man and a few uniformed ladies, stood at either sides of the door as they stepped out.

Upon surrounded by strangers, his instincts immediately soared. His slate blue eyes turned darker, he bared his fangs, sticking close to Kise as he snarled at them. The dog inside him barked madly at the intrusion. Kasamatsu arms wrapped around himself out of the need to protect his kid, hairs stood on his neck, features contorted and changed. This startled the people around him, including Kise.

"Wait, it's okay!" The blonde said, he wound his arms around Kasamatsu. He looked at the man and women, waved his hand and they seemed to back away, giving them space. "Senpai — Yukio-san, it's okay. They're my in-law's staff."

Kasamatsu glared, to each one of them, suspecting and cautious. He was still turning. His claws began to expand, his fangs lengthened. His dog counterpart was gaining authority over their body, forgoing Kasamatsu's own judgement. It was acting like a cornered, ambushed animal. He could feel every single one of them was stronger than him, heavier seeds, bigger predators. Yet he refused to go down, not without a fight. Not when he had something to protect, at all costs.

"Go away! Leave us, right now!" Kise barked at them. His scent grew stronger, much like a wolf. The scent of an Alpha.

Kasamatsu felt drawn to it, as it had been a while, he hadn't basked in this protective scent in a while. The dog was distracted by the wolf's scent, momentarily forgetting its own intention. This gave Kasamatsu a chance to regain control of their body; his features stopped its transformation, then it began regressing, instead.

At the loud behest, the employees scurried off, leaving the premise at once.

"Yukio-san. It's okay." Kasamatsu felt large hands cradling his face, tilting his head up. His sight was met with warm pools of golden brown, looking straight at him. "They're gone. There's no threat." He whispered softly.

The dog was appeased, while Kasamatsu calmed down considerably. The transformation ceased completely, his heart was still pounding from adrenaline, but the red alarm in his head was fading off into a distance.

"Sorry." Kasamatsu murmured, feeling guilty. "I don't know what came over me … I was just… surprised." And they were in a particularly small space, nowhere to run. He overreacted.

"It's okay." Kise stroked his cheek with his thumbs. "I didn't know they were waiting for us too, would've told them off otherwise. You reacted quicker than I did. Is it maternal instincts?" He leaned forward to plant a kiss on Kasamatsu's forehead.

"I think so. I've never lost control of it, before. It's … strange." He was ashamed that he did. That he let his bestial instincts took over him.

"You couldn't help it. Don't worry." Kise moved his hands to hold Kasamatsu.

They stayed like that for a moment; Kasamatsu's face against Kise's chest, inhaling his scent. He felt safer, calmer. He felt protected, doused in the scent of his partner. His mate. He had missed this a lot, as they weren't able to meet often. Kasamatsu tried not to think too much of it, to focus on tending the frayed composure.

"… I'm alright." He nudged Kise's side, pulling back. "Let's go. We can't make your sisters wait."

"Okay." The blonde took his hand and smiled.

Kasamatsu nodded, he was feeling better.

Kise led him to the door, which Kasamatsu realised, in the entire floor, there was only one door two-panel door with a family name hung on the wall placket next to it. It read ' _Ryujin,_ ' an unusual family name. The door was right across of the elevator, the floors were carpeted with ornate rug, and the hallway leading to it was decorated with paintings and potted plants. There was no other door, safe for plumbing or janitor's closet.

As Kise slid the card key onto a small device — an electronic lock of some kind, then pressed the bell. He heard the door unlocked, and a few more noises — chatters and footsteps. A lump rose up his throat, a bundle of tight nerves, Kasamatsu tried to force it down.

The door opened. It was the middle aged man from before. Kasamatsu tensed up, Kise quickly stood in between them. "He's my sister's butler. The head of household staff." Kise whispered to him.

"Welcome, Young Master Ryouta. Madame has been waiting for you and your guest." The butler seemed to hold no bad intent, making Kasamatsu feel even more awkward.

"Thanks." Kise said. He rested his hand on Kasamatsu's waist as they entered the apartment.

Just as he thought, it was an exaggeratedly luxurious accommodation for an apartment, expansive and filled with luxurious western styled furniture, from top to bottom. Maids and butlers were ready to serve on the sides. He'd heard stories of Akashi's wealth, he'd never seen it, but he imagined it to be like this. That someone like Akashi must be living in a place akin to this. The idea that Kise was of the same level as these people, it had never really crossed his mind until then.

Kasamatsu felt out of place.

"Are both of my sisters here?" Kise asked.

"Yes, Madame Rina and Young Mistress Sachiko are waiting for you in the living room." The butler guided them further into the house.

Kasamatsu walked next to Kise, doing his best to remain calm. He didn't fit in this kind of scene. Kise had taken off his sunglasses and beanie. He looked like he fitted right in, despite the plainness of his attire. It didn't matter. He had the looks and the breed, indeed he looked like a Young Master from a high class family. Not the silly, ridiculous blonde he knew and loved.

He shrugged of the thoughts.

They were led to the door of the living room (another two-panel wooden door), which the butler opened. Kise stepped in first, tugging Kasamatsu along. Inside, was a spacious living room with a balcony like the ones he saw in Architecture Digest magazine covers, coloured in warm bright tones, dripping with opulence. He saw two women and a child were sitting on impossibly elegant, comfortable sofas, both who looked a lot like Kise; bright blonde hair and fair skin. The child sitting next to the lady with shoulder-length hair had dark hair and green eyes.

It didn't occur to him what the child was until he saw a long, serpent like tail swishing out of the child's backside. Part of his neck, hands and legs were covered in scales. A reptilian child, probably two to three years old, given that he hadn't transformed into a human child form yet.

"Rina, Sachi." Kise greeted, a smile on his face.

Both of the ladies turned their heads, their cups of teas lowered. Kasamatsu could see the family resemblance, clear as day. They were beautiful, dainty and delicate. He swallowed, suddenly he understood when Kise said how intimidating it was to be surrounded by his male family members. When the ladies walked up to them, he wished he could shrink.

"Ryou-chan! I haven't seen you in a while!" The short-haired lady with the most delicate features and femininity, came up to Kise and hugged him. "You went missing and you didn't call! We had to learn from the news where you were! I was so worried, why didn't you come to visit sooner?" She sobbed softly.

Kise patted her on the back. "Sorry, Rina Nee-chan. I've been, um, busy." He reasoned softly.

The second lady, a statuesque beauty with a long ponytail and seemingly more sporty, casual aura about her, stood behind, holding the reptilian child's hand. The child stared at them quietly.

"You punk. We thought you've gone rogue and decided to run away from home." She snorted, one hand one her hips. Unlike the first lady, she was aware of Kasamatsu's presence. "Oh, so this is who you were talking about." She smiled at him, which Kasamatsu returned with difficulty on his part. His nervousness towards girls started rearing its ugly head.

"Good afternoon." Kasamatsu greeted, bowing slightly. He caught the little boy's curious eyes on him. "My name is Kasamatsu Yukio, I am Ryouta's senior in the basketball club." He smiled at the boy and then at Kise's sister.

"The Captain, right? Ryouta talked about you a lot." Sachiko eyed him, up and down.

It made Kasamatsu nervous.

Rina noticed him a minute later, after she withdrew from Kise. "Oh, I'm sorry. How rude, I didn't notice Ryou-chan's boyfriend." She gracefully turned to Kasamatsu, giving him a gentle smile. "My name is Rina, this is Sachiko. We've heard about you from Ryou-chan."

"N-nice to meet you." Kasamatsu blushed at the word 'boyfriend,' he shot a glance at Kise, wondering what sort of things the blonde had told his sisters.

The little boy made his way to Rina, hugging her legs. She picked him up, mindful of his swinging tail. "And this is Shinosuke, my son. Say hello, Shino-chan."

"Hewwo." The boy stared curiously at Kasamatsu, sucking his thumb.

He smiled at the boy. "Hello, Shino. How are you?"

The boy continued to suckle his thumb. "Chino 'ungwy." He mumbled, turning to his mom. "Mama, Chino want milk."

"Is it that time? I'm sorry Sachi, could you tell the maid to make him a bottle?" Rina asked Sachiko, who nodded and went out to call the maid. Kasamatsu was still looking at the Reptile boy, he was a cute one, obviously got his looks from his mom.

"Yukio-san. Should we sit?" Kise nudged him softly. "You're tired from the ride right? Come on."

Rina cradled Shino in her arms. "Oh, feel free to make yourself at home. Please do wait for a moment, I need to take care of this boy." She smiled.

Kasamatsu thanked her, and Kise led him to the sofa to take a seat. He appreciated how fluffy and comfortable it was. Kise's sisters were very nice, which was a relief. A moment later, Sachiko came back with a small bottle of milk. She handed it to Rina, who proceeded to make themselves comfortable on the sofa, Shino rested his head on her lap as he suckled his milk.

Kasamatsu remembered familiar scenes, way back when his brothers were little. It felt nostalgic.

The butler came into the room a moment later, with a serving of tea and snacks. He helpfully served them on the table. Kasamatsu thanked him, took his cup and sipped. It was warm and sweet, quelled the nausea slightly better. Sachiko poured more tea into her cup, added two cubes of sugar and stirred it, while the eldest daughter was busy feeding her son.

Kise didn't touch his own cup, he looked thoughtful. Silent

"There's something I need to tell you two." Kise said, pulling Kasamatsu back to their original purpose. He looked down and saw his hand over Kasamatsu's, gripping tightly.

"You mentioned that." Sachi crossed her long legs, tilting her head. "And you sound weird when you delivered the line." She pointed out, her eyes — a darker color than Kise's — moved to Kasamatsu's direction. "Is it about your boyfriend?"

Kasamatsu tensed up.

"What is it about?" Rina asked, half of her attention was fixed on her baby.

Sachi raised an eyebrow. "It's not just introducing your boyfriend to us?"

He could hear Kise sucked the air through his teeth, shoulders drawn and chest expanded, stiff. Kasamatsu's own heart was pounding in his ears, sweat started beading on the back of his neck. He kept his eyes fixated on the coffee table. If they didn't immediately reject him on first impression, they might in another ten minutes or less.

Kise shook his head. Kasamatsu could smell his fear, the salt in his sweat. "No. Yes. Well, it's not only that." The blonde said, chewing his lip. "There's something else. Something very important I have to tell you."

Kasamatsu fidgeted ever so slightly in his seat. He could feel the stare on him.

Sachiko was the one who reacted first, her eyes — dark brown unlike Kise's amber eyes — eyed Kasamatsu, her eyebrows furrowed. She inhaled, sucking the air like drinking water.

"Wait." She said suddenly, all eyes were on her, except Kasamatsu's. He couldn't meet her gaze. The creases in between her eyes deepened. "No. Don't tell me — really, Ryouta?" She switched her attention to Kise sharply.

What was worse that, even without Kasamatsu looking, he could smell it, hear it, sense it — her blood pumped faster, her heartbeat quickened and the pitch of her voice heightened. And then Kise's reaction in turn, bold and clear and never failed to betray his emotions; the noise of his teeth gritting, the beads of sweat and the tension in their entwined hands. Rina's apparent confusion, due to the distraction provided by her son.

The scents of wolves became stronger, making Kasamatsu slightly dizzy.

"Yeah," He heard Kise say, determined. "He's pregnant. It's mine."

The heavy silent was almost too much to bear. Kasamatsu didn't say anything, as he felt it wasn't his time to speak yet. Nor did he lift his head.

The one who broke it was Sachiko. "Are you … serious?" Her voice was strained, laced in disbelief and confusion. Kasamatsu didn't detect anger, although it might be hidden there. He couldn't know for sure.

"Pregnant…?" The other sister remained speechless. Her eyes wide.

And then Shino started cryin.

The little boy choked on his milk a little, coughed and cried loudly. The bottle of milk dropped on to the floor, and he clung to his mother. He sobbed petulantly, the way a kid his age would. Everyone's attention was pulled, when he did.

"Shino-chan, what's wrong?" Rina patted his small back. The serpent like tail appeared limp, the small shoulders were trembling. Rina tried his best to console the child. "There, there. There's nothing to be sad about! It's okay, mama's here." She stood up from the sofa, walking off to cradle him, swaying her body gently. The baby wailed still, large beads of tears spilling from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sachi, Ryou-chan and Yukio-kun. It's Shino's nap time. I'll be back soon." The young mother said, urgent. She left the room briefly, the butler and a few maids followed after her.

When she left, the room was emptier than it ever was. If anything, the tension had turned rather awkward.

Sachiko stared at the door where they'd left, then sighed. "Well, I guess that's ruined the tension." She smiled, slightly amused. "That's how babies are, apparently, they cry, play, cry again, they want something and they want everything. Most of the time they cry from nothing. Small little troublemakers." She eyed them carefully, still absent of anger. She wasn't as easy to read as Ryouta was.

"So, what's the story with you guys? Don't mind Rina, I'll tell her later."

Kise and Kasamatsu looked at each other. He didn't know if Kise was going to tell the truth or not — Kasamatsu had chosen not to reveal everything to his family, yet he never told Kise to do the same with his own family. He … wouldn't mind if he decided to tell it, so Kasamatsu nodded, give or take. Whatever Kise would interpret it as.

The blonde lowered his gaze, before he turned to his sister. "I'm going to tell you the truth." He murmured, then began his story.

It was strange to sit next to him, and listen to Kise's side of the story. There were elements in the story that filled the gaps of misinformation on his side of the story, or ideas that were always a little vague to him, such as Kise's motivation and why he did what he did. there were repeated sentences spoken in guilt, 'I was stupid,' 'I didn't think it through,' and 'I'm a scum.'

Kasamatsu hadn't imagined that kind of depressive, self-degradation thoughts were present in Kise's mind, the ever cheerful bundle of sunshine, the simple-minded blonde who always appeared happy. The young man who cried and clung to him like a kid, whose shortcomings he forgave on numerous occasions, because he loved him and because he was the older of the two — Yukio was used to handling two younger brothers of similar ages. He spoiled them, scolded them, forgave them and trivialised their antics. He'd treated Kise the same way, whether he realised it or not.

How could he have known that Kise was driven by desperation? How could he know that Kise really was serious with their relationship? No. No, that wasn't right. It was Kasamatsu himself who didn't believe it; it was him who refused to accept Kise's numerous confessions, because he wanted to avoid more pain. He had thought of it as something akin to a puppy love; it wasn't meant to last. It was never meant to last.

His distrust and Kise's shortcomings had led them to the current state of affairs.

It was bizarre. Surreal.

Sachiko's expression grew more and more grim, as the story progressed. Her eyes darkened, narrowed and stained with anger, which grew worse by the time Kise finished telling their now ever-growing financial problems.

"You  _fucking_  idiot." Sachiko blurted out, her manicured fingers kneaded her temples. She looked exhausted, emotionally. Kasamatsu could only imagine what she was feeling; that her own little brother had done a huge mistake.

"You big, gigantic, childish little — fucking idiot of a brother! What the fuck were you thinking? Forcing your mate to carry your cub without his consent!? Are you insane!?" She roared, slamming her palm onto the table with a loud thud. It rattled the porcelain cups, causing some of the fuller ones to spill its contents onto the wooden surface.

Kasamatsu was temporarily paralysed. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was clear that she was enraged. An enraged Heavy Seed was never good news. Instinctively, he wound his arms around his stomach with a pillow under it, as if to put a shield between the stranger predator and his unborn child.

"I know I fucked up. I know, okay? I got a whole month and more to think about what I did! I know I'm a fucking idiot, you don't need to tell me!" Kise retorted as he stood up suddenly, riled up by the provocation. Their scents were getting stronger, darker — burning the dry air. Kasamatsu clutched at Kise's arm and tugged, forcing him to calm down, because if Kise didn't, Kasamatsu's own instincts would start acting up again.

Upon realising what was happening to Kasamatsu, Kise's rage waned. He clenched his jaw, the length of his fangs receded in response.

"We came here because Yukio-san's told his family of what happened. That was the first thing he did after we got out of that nightmare weeks ago. He's way braver than I am. That's why I had to do the same." Kise took a seat again. "We're still trying to make things work. The money — I know I'm still a student, I can't work full time and I can only do my best with my part time modelling gig. It's not much, but it's better than nothing. At least that's what I'm trying to think of it."

"You can't think that a few part time-jobs will be enough to sustain a family, Ryouta." Sachiko said, calmer, but still angry. "You have no idea how expensive it is to have a baby — even adults with full-time jobs struggle to make ends meet. You and your boyfriend are still students."

"I will be graduating soon." Kasamatsu calmly said. "I have the intention of getting some kind of job to help with the bills."

She looked at him, her eyes softened a bit, due to sympathy or maybe guilt. "That's not going to be enough, Yukio-kun. How far along are you?"

"It's going to be two months." He replied, rubbing his stomach.

"Alright, so you might be able to fill in on a part time job. Realistically speaking, however, at some point you have to be completely off work when your pregnancy reaches a certain stage. Usually by seventh month, otherwise it's too dangerous for you and your baby — I don't know much about male pregnancy, but supposedly it's even more fragile, isn't it? So that gives you, around four to five months to work. The baby items are going to be very expensive, everything you earn's going for the bills, that if you don't get into debts."

Kasamatsu couldn't answer, as he would have to ask the doctor if he was even allowed to work with his condition. The early stages of pregnancy should be fine, he tried to convince himself.

"Yukio-san… It's, it's okay. I'll think of something, okay?" Kise tried to comfort him. He placed a hand over Kasamatsu's.

Sachiko drew a long, deep breath. "You guys are still too young to have a baby." She said, sounding cautious. "Have you ever thought of — "

"I'm planning to give birth to the baby." Kasamatsu firmly stated, he looked straight at her. "I have no intention of getting rid of it."

Kise looked at him, moved closer, then kissed the side of his head, showing his support.

She watched them. She was intimidating to Kasamatsu, even more so than Kise ever could. "Okay, okay. So, there are other options. For example, you can give up the baby for adoption. That way, the baby can be taken care of by a family who can't have a kid on their own."

Kasamatsu stiffened at the suggestion. He'd thought of it, but … he shook his head. "I would like to keep the baby with me after the birth." He murmured softly. "I know it's going to be difficult, financially and emotionally, but I still want to raise them." He couldn't give up on his and Kise's baby. It was just pure selfishness on his part.

Even if he had to do it alone.

Sachiko sighed. She was no longer angry. Rather, she looked tired, and thoughtful. "Alright. This is really tricky. Just remember, the adoption option can still be there as a last resort." She said. "If things get really bad for you, you can consider it."

Kasamatsu nodded. It would be an option should such a time came.

"What if it's a wolf cub?"

Kasamatsu and Sachiko turned to Kise.

The blonde looked solemn. "I'm saying, that if the cub turns out to be a wolf, there's no way we're putting the baby up for adoption. We can get financial assistance from the Organization, like a donation, right?"

Sachiko blinked. "That's true, but," She paused for a moment, before continuing. "I think it's not going to be as easy as you make it sound, Ryouta. Yes, you'll get financial assistance from outside sources, but it won't be for free, you know that, don't you?"

Kise's lips tightened into a line. "Yeah, I know."

Kasamatsu frowned, he didn't understand what they were talking about. "If it's not too much to ask, what exactly do you mean by that?" He asked cautiously. "What if my baby turns out to be a wolf?"

Kise squeezed his hand, a nervous tic of sorts. It didn't comfort Kasamatsu.

Sachiko drew a deep breath again. "Complications. Because if your baby turns out to be a wolf cub, it's not going to be only ' _your_ ' baby, it's going to be this  _country's_  baby. A living national treasure, a Japanese wolf." She started curtly.

"Yes, you will get financial assistance. Yes, many people would donate money you can put into a trust fund, to make sure your child would survive into adulthood and beyond. But, like us, they won't have as much freedom as an ordinary person would. Privacy, the freedom to live life wherever they'd like and even the choices to choose mates, they don't exist for us. We are living under constant surveillance, just by being what we are. Wolves."

Kasamatsu listened to her explanation quietly, letting it sink into his mind. This was something Kise had mentioned a few times in the past; the numerous mating offers, the media attention, the lack of privacy. 'No freedom.'

"But it's only 'if' the baby turns out to be a wolf." Sachiko said. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but it's incredibly unlikely for you to conceive a wolf cub. We're notoriously hard to breed. Our older sister, Rina. She married her husband — he's from the Komodo Dragon clan — with hopes that our wolf genes would win out, but as you can see. Shinosuke is a Komodo Dragon. Maybe the next kid could be a wolf, but we can't know for sure."

He nodded. So there was a good chance that his baby would be born an ordinary dog. While he wouldn't have much, Yukio could have the baby for himself. They could grow to be whatever they wanted, go wherever they wished to go. It didn't matter if they were a Light Seed. That … was a comforting thought.

"Besides, I think it's better if it's not a wolf. Or our parents will — " She went quiet. Kise visibly tensed up. "No, never mind. Ryouta, I'm guessing you haven't told mom and dad?"

"No. Not yet." The blonde stiffly answered. Odd. "Maybe next time. They're not in town right now, right?"

"They're in Kyoto right now, for a short vacation." Sachiko said. "I don't imagine you can keep this from them forever, though. They'll know sooner or later, if you guys are going to keep the baby." She stared at her younger brother. "Be careful, little brother."

Kise inhaled sharply, then nodded. "I know."

Kasamatsu felt like an outsider in this conversation. Like they were being overly cautious about something, it rubbed him the wrong way. He would ask Kise later.

"Right. So do you have other plans? Like where you're going to have the baby, what you're going to do after that, those sort of things." She asked.

"No, we … kind of have our hands full with just getting the money for the hospital bills. Senpai — Yukio-san is still in school, and we're trying to lay low until he's graduated. He's still living with his parents, so we don't have to worry about rent on his side. At the moment." Kise scratched his head. Sachiko sighed.

"So you don't have plans for the long run." She summarised for them, crossing her arms. She eyed both of them. "You need more than that. I know it's hard to think of a solid plan for the future, given you two are still kids. You need to consult with an adult. Yukio-kun, you said you've told your parents, correct?"

"Yes."

"How did they react to it?" She asked again.

"Badly. My dad wouldn't talk to me since I told him. My mom … I think she's more inclined to accept it. But she needs time." Kasamatsu explained, calmly. His gaze fixated at the table. "We haven't exactly spoken about the future. They are usually busy with their jobs. I have two younger brothers who are in middle school."

"I see. Sooner or later, you have to talk with them. Your parents can't deny it forever, and you need their support." Sachiko said. "But if it's gone to the point that they won't, well, you gotta think of another plan. Ryouta, have you talked to your boyfriend's parents?"

"Uh, no? I spoke to Yukio-san's mom, but the others… they hate me." The blonde shakily said.

Sachiko sighed. "You moron. Put some more fucking effort into it, you prick. They're your boyfriend's parents and you knocked him up, of course they'd dislike you for it. You're both still kids. What did you expect? Put on your pretty boy smile and all is forgiven?" She chastised him harshly. "Go accompany your boyfriend to talk with his parents, tell them how serious you are. If they don't believe you, you  _prove_  them that you mean it. Got that?"

Kise visibly swallowed. "O-okay. Got it."

"Great. In the mean time, let me handle explaining to Rina. God knows she's occupied with her baby all day long. She might faint when she hears what you did, though." Sachiko said. "And about our parents, we can handle that when they come back."

"Right. And um, Nee-chan. There's one more thing I want to ask." Kise said. "I've been working on the sides, part-time, with the modelling gigs and ad shoots. I know it's not gonna be enough, so, in case things become worse and we can't afford it … could you please help Yukio-san and our baby? And Rina Nee-chan too. Please, I beg you."

Kasamatsu turned to him, eyes wide. "Kise?"

Kise shook his head. "Yukio-san, I know you won't ask for help from outsiders. I know you're going to do your best to provide for our kid, and I want to work hard for it too, I'll work my fucking ass off to be able to provide for us." He reasoned, hands gripping Kasamatsu's. His amber eyes met his. "But just in case, we can't and things go wrong. You don't have to ask for help, you don't have to beg."

Kise brought his hand up, and kissed the back of his hand. "Because I will."

He felt his heart drop. He was taken by surprise. "You don't have to, Kise." He said. "I can talk with my parents, we still have savings for my college tuition. We can use that."

"You shouldn't do that. It — it's my fault you can't go to college." Kise murmured. His expression darkened, twisted with sadness and guilt. Like a dark cloud casting a shade over his face. "It's my fault. I gotta fix this."

"Kise … stop. It's alright. We'll work it out." Kasamatsu tried to comfort him. He couldn't say it wasn't his fault, but this … he didn't want to see Kise like this either.

Meanwhile, Sachiko had been watching them.

"Ryouta, don't be like that. You're distressing your boyfriend." She said, sighing. "Of course we'll help our baby brother, why would you think of otherwise? Rina will definitely help you too."

The blonde turned to his sister. "Really?" His eyes lit up with hope. Kasamatsu looked on, surprised.

"Yeah. Wolf or not wolf. It's still going to be our nephew or niece. It doesn't matter what breed they are." Sachiko smiled at Kasamatsu. "I'm sorry for Ryouta's stupidity, we spoil him too much. I understand if you choose to dump him though, he's not that great of a catch."

"Wha!? Nee-chan!" Kise shouted, red to his ears.

Kasamatsu cracked a smile. "He  _is_  pretty spoiled." He agreed, earning the blonde's betrayed look. "You are, don't deny the truth."

"… that's totally unnecessary…" The blonde grumbled. "Nee-chan, thanks so much. I — we appreciate it, a lot."

"Yes. Thank you, Sachiko-san." Kasamatsu stood up, and bowed deeply to show his appreciaton. Kise jumped, quickly followed, albeit awkwardly.

Sachiko nodded, giving them an amused smile. "I didn't know Ryouta got a good taste in men." She cocked her head. "Given how many dumb, shallow girls and guys you used to date. This is a good change."

Kasamatsu narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kise. Of course he knew Kise had dated a lot of people back then, not that he'd ever tried to find out about them. He heard stories, though. Given how his fans behaved, it didn't take a genius to imagine what kind of people they were.

"That's in the past. He's the only one I love now." The blonde was quick to say. "You're the only want I want to stay with, Yukio-san. Please believe me!" He said, a little panicked. Kasamatsu had heard of the same thing so many times.

But this was the first time those words rang a little clearer in his ears. "I know." He patted Kise's head. "I feel the same, Kise."

"Really?" Those amber eyes glimmered with delight, seemingly grew in size. Like a puppy's eyes when excited.

"Oh god, I'm gonna barf. You guys are too sweet, jeezus." Sachiko blurted, feigning nausea.

Kasamatsu blushed. He quickly detached himself from Kise, muttering an apology. Sachiko laughed out loud. "Polite one, isn't he? You're almost too good for our little brother." She smiled. "Don't worry, stressing too much is bad for you, right? Take it easy. I'll have Takada get us a fresh brew. Stay for lunch, okay?"

"Th-thank you." Kasamatsu said, nervously.

Rina came back a little later, as she was held back by her fussing toddler, now being watched over by a babysitter. Kasamatsu was invited to have lunch with them, which he politely accepted. He didn't talk much, as Sachiko was filling in on what Rina had been missing. As expected she was shocked to hear what Kise had done, and she was angry at her brother, though not as sternly as Sachiko had been. She was the gentler one of the two sisters. Kasamatsu could imagine her spoiling Kise rotten as a child. The ten years gap between them must have played a role in it.

"Yes, of course we'll help. Yukio-kun, I'm sorry for our Ryou-chan. He did a terrible thing to you, I honestly can not understand what he was thinking!" She apologised for the third time, already. Even though Kasamatsu had said it was already done and forgiven.

"I already said that, Rina. As long as Ryouta's not screwing up again." Sachiko pointed her fork at Kise, as a warning. "You're not going to screw this up, right, Ryouta?"

"I won't. I swear I won't." Kise said, for the umpteenth time. The sisters weren't making it easy for him to forget what he did wrong.

They didn't reject him, nor had they implied that Kasamatsu was in it for something, like Kise's wealth or status. It was a decidedly pleasant change. Although Kasamatsu didn't say much unless spoken to, during the lunch. He was still a little awkward with women, even when they looked like Kise. He appreciated their kindness. It was a weight lifted off his shoulders.

Kise's parents though, he had a feeling it wouldn't go as smoothly with them.

They left the apartment before evening, since the ride home would be a long one. Kasamatsu thanked them for their hospitality and Kise hailed a cab to take them back to his place. Kasamatsu was going to spend the night there.

"They are nice." He said when they were in the cab, relaxing in to the seat. He had strapped himself with the seatbelt, belly full of meal, tea and cakes. The sisters loved their tea time, something he'd never indulged in with a household full of males.

"They like you." Kise took his hand, placing it over his lap. "They can see that you're a good person."

"… I'm glad." Kasamatsu murmured, smiling a bit. It was nice to know they would support both of them. He idly rubbed his stomach, thinking.

Kise scooted over to place a kiss on the side of his head. "I'm happy that you're happy." He whispered, smiling. "We should visit them again some time." He suggested.

"I'd like that." Kasamatsu turned to look at Kise, his head rested against his shoulder. "Would you spend time with my brothers?" He asked.

He could see the uncertainty swimming in his eyes, but Kasamatsu waited. Kise inhaled deeply. "Yeah, I would." He said. "I want to get along with them too. They're your siblings, they're going to be our baby's uncles. And, your parents, too. We'll talk with them."

Kasamatsu smiled. He felt happier, a little sleepy, but content. He closed his eyes, drifting off. "Thank you."

He felt the feathery touch of a kiss touching his cheek. Kise's scent washed over him, enveloping him in a comfortable warmth.

—

TBC.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, the question is, should I draw Kise's sisters?


End file.
